On the Beach!

This might be the wrong word but I really think this is why children are more ignorant now than they used to be, also I think it’s why children shout more when they are talking to people. It really is very sad and at times very dangerous

GabriellaG: The mothers you describe are not real mothers or minders. If they were, their children would come first at least during their years before adulthood.
I absolutely lived being immersed in virtually everything my children were involved in, whether on holiday, days out, weekends or evenings in besides all the school activities.

I find this a very sad comment.
Did you have no life of your own? Did your children have no lives of their own without your involvement? And what happened when they left home?

grannypauline, i was just about to write the same message as you, except that i live in Gateshead. I have seen this happen so many times, and it is worse when the pushchair is between parked cars when it is pushed out into the road.

It is so sad that children are learning that it is more important to give your attention to your mobile, not to the people with you. ie Mobiles are more important than your children. Strange. And when the children have their own mobiles they can hardly be blamed for doing the same.

yggdrasil is not watching the face but the social interaction
that is important. The talking and looking together.

I was talking to someone who was saying that she and her husband had to take holidays at different times, to cover the school holidays, so couldnt have a family holiday. Seems sad that children are seen as a problem to be solved.

I had another idea for a positive about mobile phones, texting etc - at least it encourages adults to read.
During my working life I tried to help children with reading problems. In the majority of cases their parents were illiterate, couldn't help at home. So now perhaps they can help?

Cherrytree59 Yes, Cats in the Cradle is such a sad song.

Yeah, bit like in the 80s when there was a run of memorably graphic TV campaigns aiming to cut the number of child deaths and life changing injuries caused by inadequate adult supervision in and around the home....

phones CAN be problematic, but the harping back to the days when mums hung on their children's every word... I just don't recognise that at all!

There is a problem:
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/07/05/duty-care-mothers-excessive-use-mobile-phones-driving-behavioural/
Manchester is being proactive in launching a campaign to encourage parents to address their usage of digital technology.

Sure, I agree. But ignored kids is not a "sign of the times".

Ideally a balance is where kids arent taught that they are the centre of the universe and get to interrupt whatever adults are doing Vs kids also being listened to and important.

There is no harm in kids WAITING for parents attention, so long as they do get some. They do not however need to be the centre of attention all the time.

There are helicopter/overbearing/controlling/tiger parents at one end and neglectful/mean/selfish parents at the other end. Most fall somewhere in the middle, as has always been the case!

Should add Imho.

Thanks notanan
Still relevant today as it was way back then.

^ written in 1974 ^

I am reminded of the song by Harry Chapin
Cats in the cradle

I agree with notanan2. I think some people are romanticing the time they spent bringing up their children and have forgotten the seemingly endless demands on time and attention . I also think that children should realise that their parents are human beings as well, and should not be expected to spring to attention at each request. Are those who did this the same people who describe the younger generation as "over entitled" and wonder why?

So attentive LOL

& on a beach holiday with my friends family I don't remember the mum getting up from her sunlounger once to congratulate us on anything. She obviously didn't have a smartphone but her eyes were either closed or on her novels the whole time. She was there for emergencies & occasional ice-cream money but the mums of pre smartphone days found plenty of ways to zone out and let the kids get on with it..

Mine took tonnes of photos but never got involved or played with us. They are in a gazillion albums in my parents loft rather than on facebook.. but it really wasn't all that different.

My mum was busy cooking, doing housework, tending the garden or gossiping and playing cards with neighbours, whilst us kids were out on our bikes, playing in the street or the local bomb sites for hours at a time, we didn't have constant parental supervision or interaction. She wasn't looking at a phone, but she wasn't hovering over us either!

I use my mobile to access news items, order shopping, chat to & message my friends and family, as a diary, as a camera & album. I also occasionally access forums on it or play a game of solitaire. When my DC were tinies I spent hours with other young mums in my home or theirs whilst kids trashed the house..we were chatting /drinking coffee and occasionally sorting out a scrap between assorted toddlers/pre-schoolers. Despite this huge lack of adult interaction they grew up ok! Of the 8 children 6 have uni degrees , 7th is a housing association manager, 8th is an accountant. All are in work & are successful and lovely adults bringing up the next generation. Mobiles can be addictive, they can cause inattentiveness but so can a lot of other things!

many mums do (and always have done) bits of work and study while supervising kids & cant give full uninterrupted attention...again a lot of this has switched from paper to online but the fantasy that mums weren't distracted and gave their wholehearted full attention to previous generations is just not true.

My mum took a lot of work home just as I have done jobs where I was expected to promptly reply to emails and enquiries from home. Her work was piles of paper, mine was online.

That said I was much BETTER at not always saying "in a minute"/"not now"/"later" to my kids than my mum was.. despite the fact that I'm the one with the smart phone.

My best mates mum took in Ironing and literally kicked us out of the room to fend for ourselves so that she could get her work done.... until my mum popped in... then they just told us to go away so they could gossip about "adult stuff"

We did not get constant oos and aaahhs at every one of our creations or statements

LOL I don't remember a single mother from the generation that raised me who was ever totally "immersed" in their kids all the time.

I remember mums gossiping with each other, watching tv, reading magazines/novels/newspapers, listening to the radio, doing household admin.. all stuff conversely that you can do on smart phones. I don't remember any family from my childhood where the mums spent all day looking at their kids! Talk about rose tinted glasses!

Also look up the "mental load" which disproportionately affects women. Men may do a share of ferrying kids to swim lessons but its usually mums who research swim schools, enquire, book, keep on to of re-re-enrolment etc. Again done by smart phone usually these days.

The only time I use my phone - which I keep for emergencies only - is when waiting for an appointment at the dentist doctor etc. Then I use it to read my current book via the Kindle app.
Saves carrying a heavy book along and I am always alone.

But you are on gransnet now! I access GN mainly through my phone. They may be asking advice on Mumsnet!

I just wonder what they are looking at. I have a phone, not an i phone, but I get bored after a quick look at Facebook.