Retirement - one of life’s big changes

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Go for it... ?

I was a secretary, loved my job, miss the life.

What did you do Billy?

Dolcelatte, would I go back to work tomorrow? a resounding yes in a heartbeat.

Dolcelatte, this is so true for me as well. I tend to look back only on the good bits of the job. I have to remind myself of how I felt when I left. It was a relief to go.
I met up with 2 young ex-colleagues last week, they are lovely & they reminded me of all the frustrations, ridiculous directives etc that my memory has filtered out. Like you, would I go back - no!

I'm staring retirement in the face right now as I go at the end of the year. Due to a company takeover the role I've had for the last 15 years has gone and I'm rather floundering with no specific tasks to do each day. I feel guilty for not sitting at the desk 9-5 (I work from home) but at the same time have no reason to be there. It has given me a little insight into what future life may be like with no job at all and I'm not sure how I'll take to it. My OH will continue to work for another year but will cut his days down gradually - I fear he too won't know what to do with his time as he has no hobbies at all, doesn't like gardening and doesn't read books. Time will tell if we adjust or not but there won't be much choice in the matter really.

What is so interesting about this thread is how different we all are, but all lumped together as ‘elderly ‘ for government purposes. Also how different being a retired couple to being a retired single when every job is done by you from putting the bins out to getting car mot done, arranging for boiler to be serviced, car service, ordering logs, cleaning out gutters, the greenhouse, giving lifts to friends before you start on the pleasurable stuff like choir and cinema visits. (Absolute decadance is going to the cinema at 10.30 in the morning). I do wish companies and gov. would realise we are all different and that some of us actually enjoy friends of younger years and still mix with all ages.

I think the grass can often seem greener on the other side of the fence. Those of you who are finding it difficult to adjust to retirement should ask yourselves whether, if your former job were offered to you, would you accept?

In my case, there are certain aspects of my job which I miss, but would I go back tomorrow, if I could? Never!

I have posted about retirement issues before. I retired from teaching 20 months ago aged 59. I had stood down from a head of department post, due to all the new changes, paper work, targets etc etc. After a year I went part-time to 4 days a week with Fridays off. I thought this would prepare me for retirement - sadly not! I tend to agree with Day6, I miss the lack of structure from working & the sense that I am making a contribution and that I am valued. I miss the students more than I can say, they were never a problem.
I tend to still feel guilty if I get up later, read the paper at leisure, do the Sudukos and potter around for a bit.
I joined a ukulele group just after I retired & learning this instrument took up a lot of my time in the first 6 months, this really helped. I still go to ukulele groups 2 evenings a week, the problem is the days & how to fill them purposefully.
I volunteered in a primary school for a few hours a week until May, it was OK, but that age group is not really my thing. I did it in this relentless search of "something to do".
I found retirement difficult because I dedicated so much to teaching with no other outside interests. A retirement course would have been useful.
OH retired 12 months ago as the company he worked for lost a big contract, I worried about how he would cope, he is fine, he "potters" & is finishing DIY jobs that remain unfinished from years ago. 90% of the time, he is fine in retirement.
As for me, I am getting there, I think, 50% of the time it is fine.
I still wake some days thinking, what on earth am I going to do today.
Some posters on here suggested that I forget that I was a teacher - not possible. I tutor to have the contact with young people, I also volunteer for a tutoring charity one afternoon a week. I am learning that gardening, reading, puzzles & embroidery are not a "waste of time". I looked at U3A - nothing appealed, seems quite limited in this area. There are free OU courses so I plan to start one of those. 2 retired friends invited me to their table tennis club and a book club. I force myself to go to table tennis, I am by far the worse player but I do enjoy it when I get there. The book club was a real no no for me, despite my love of reading, took me back to the days of A-level English Lit.
I am looking for voluntary work that I will enjoy for a couple of days a week, no idea what it will be, but I am hopeful that something will crop up.
We have a camper van and it is great to be able to go away outside of school holidays - that is a massive bonus.
Retirement is about a totally different mind-set and it is not always easy to make that transformation, I am still working on it!

I retired from teaching the week of my 66th birthday. I loved my job, except for the mounds of paperwork and the ridiculous targets we had to negotiate with six year olds. I was worried about loss of status and concerned that I would just drift about still in my dressing gown at 2pm. The first thing I did was go on a long holiday in Italy. In term time! I joined lots of groups, inquired about voluntary work, then someone in my Italian group said “Don’t commit to anything until you have been retired for at leas six months.” It was good advice, because I don’t think I would have been able to meet regular commitments. My partner was diagnosed with PD soon after, so we are travelling lots while we can. Also, three grandchildren came along in the space of ten months, so I have lots of time with them. Retirement can be lonely, but you have to be prepared to seek out others. U3A is great. I feel I am fitter and more engaged than I was at work which, while rewarding, was very tiring. And yes, I am sometimes in my dressing gown at 2pm, and why not?

Day6
I know the feeling. At first I felt as if I was wasting time when a whole morning could go by without me doing anything other than reading a book, whilst eating a leisurely breakfast. No urgency, no-one ringing up to ask if I'd missed the train, yes, it can feel like treading water till the curtains close.
I soon saw the futility of drifting ad infinitum and now do enough to give me a purpose, but plenty of time to idle, should I wish.

I took vol redundancy when I wknew we were about to leave country so for many years retirement was spent moving from place to place with DH's work so full of change and challenges and very enjoyable. Several yrs later back in the UK, knowing almost nobody, very few family members and a really difficult time. Also DH now retired so considers his work is to organise me! Not easy!!!

I retired at 57 due to ill health. It took a year for my health to improve and I never regretted going early and enjoyed just my own company doing what I wanted or just lazing around. My husband saw how much I was enjoying life that he took early retirement at 60. For a few years it was hard going money wise but we enjoyed each others company and did what we wanted when we wanted. It was complete freedom. Some companies offer retirement courses before you go where they give you advice on money, life style etc.

Losing the structure of daily life was difficult for me at first. I felt quite guilty that I wasn't doing much. Then not doing much became a way of life and although it was wonderful to be free of a very stressful job and commitments and not to have to be out of the house at 7.15am every day to join rush hour traffic, I felt my life was slightly pointless. I also felt I hadn't been 'used up' and there were such a lot of skills and expertise going to waste.

I still enjoy a lazy morning whenever I want or feel like one, and the novelty of Sunday night smugness at not having to go to work on Monday still hasn't worn off. I feel rather guilty as many of my retired friends and ex colleagues fill their days with so many activities. Some have strict routines still. I am very happy with my own company (and OH's when he is around) and doing nothing much at all. Reading, writing, puzzles, listening to music, shopping, meeting friends, walking, lunch out with himself, pottering about in the garden, having time to do laundry from wash to dry to iron, (sad woman that I am) whilst listening to the radio and then catching up with the papers is my idea of a pretty blissful day. I know I could do more, but I am even reluctant to join groups because I just KNOW there would be some weeks when I just couldn't work up the enthusiasm to go.

I have grown into my retirement but there is so much guilt there that I may be wasting my days, even though I am perfectly happy. A bit more of an income would be nice. I go without lots of things but even that doesn't bother me too much as long as I can get by. I am contented mostly but I do feel slightly invisible and sometimes I think we are seen as fossils from a different era even though we are both young and heart and reasonably intelligent. I am called "Dear" a lot more in the shops now - as if I am some old woman people have to be patient with. That annoys me as I still feel I could take on all comers in the workplace and fare well despite my age.(I am probably kidding myself but I hate being thought of as 'past it' because inside I still feel as vital as ever, despite my age and status.)

Retirement is wonderful. The freedom from work, childcare, family responsibilities (because the children have grown up) and stress is priceless.

Kazzer just read your post I'll join as long as I can bring my dogs and cats and I can knit and sew, please say yes

My oh retired and had driven me nuts over the last 8 months. I'm still working and the only thing I'm not looking forward to is being at home with him. I have lots of hobbies, volunteer work and friends that I meet for coffee etc he has non of this. On my days off I'm constantly be asked what I'm doing, where I'm going with whom and for how long arrrgggghhhhh I think my retired years will be spent at her majesty's pleasure if he dosn't sort himself out soon

I retired on Wed last week, having been semi retired for almost 2 years. I put a previous post on here about my life having been made a living hell through bullying by a new line manager, so things finally came to a head a couple of months back and I resigned under constructive dismissal grounds. I totally get Maw B' s point about how some people can 'cave in' once they no longer have work as a focus to their lives or a symbol of their status. TBH although I had been really looking forward to full retirement, I had not been intending to go just yet and did feel a bit wobbly as my last day loomed. I had asked for no fanfare or leaving do but of course a deputation arrived mid afternoon on my last day with gifts and a lovely speech, so a lot of self-control was needed not to dissolve into tears! However I then got stuck into various on-going and new projects straight away and was living the dream - for all of a week. Then (sorry to digress), a nasty letter arrived from higher management (the very ones I've resigned because of), saying there had been a complaint about my behaviour and they will require me to attend an investigation meeting!!!! No details given by them but I suspect it's because I was firm - not rude - with someone with an unreasonable and unrealistic expectation of me on my last day. Needless to say I will NOT be attending any such meeting, as I'm not employed by them anymore. However it has made me lose my feelings of being free of them and I feel that even in retirement I am still being persecuted by them. My union have already referred my resignation for possible tribunal process so I suppose this is all further evidence but I so wish they would leave me alone.

it's sad that courses helping people with retirement have shut down. A lot of valuable services have closed.

I want to start a retirement village with Labradors roaming freely, and, if needs must, a cat that is dog tolerant, an alpaca or two, and someone to make me a jumpers, chickens and a veg gardener. Well, a girl can dream!!

Also, my sister-in-law used to give talks and demonstrations on yoga and cookery on retirement preparation weekends on the South coast of England, many of them funded by employers, but these seem to have disappeared.

I agree there is a huge gap in the market here. I enjoy retirement and have done so from the start, but I feel very much in the minority here.

I think there should be much more focus on the fact that retirement is a very big change and that people should be encouraged to plan their retirement, not only financially but emotionally as well.

I was happily working part-time, until ill health forced me to retire, so I have time, but not the health to do what I would like to. Being a non-driver, I’m mostly reliant on the Bodach to ferry me around. I’d planned lots of wee trips when I retired, but poor mobility means they’ve to be put on hold. Still, I’m hopeful that things will improve.

travelsafar
Aw shucks...but it has given me many funny and sometimes unbelievable dinner party stories - all true.