Retirement - one of life’s big changes

I love being retired. I've found that nine out of ten people I speak to are happy to be retired. It is more often men who don't like being retired than women. I think that with the increase in pension age more people will be very glad to retire. I would advise those who soon became bored to go back to work part time or volunteer.

I think you have to be honest with each other about your expectations of retirement. Couples can often have wildly varying ideas without realising it,
Personal time is also important, you really don't have to do everything together.
Agree on the level of child care you offer your children and how to divide household chores.
Above all enjoy your retirement you have earned it.

I had to retire overnight as my husband became much more poorly. I found it was a relief at first but six months down the line I would say now that I was in a very bad place, I could imagine that some sort of help would have been an enormous relief.

A bit like my situation Midgey and former colleagues just didn’t get it.
“Oh you are lucky”, “Jammy so-and-so” was the sort of comment I got but people don’t realise that you can be mourning a loss of status, a different identity, loss of income (so independence) and adjusting to a very different role in life.
I would say it took me 6-12 months to sort myself out and I have seen signs of real depression in others especially those who retired at the peak of their career.

I think retiring to become a carer, whether for spouse or elderly parent is very different to retiring on reaching pension age/choosing to retire. I had some months off work as a carer for my husband and that was very difficult. Finances meant I had to return to work after he died.

It certainly is a huge transition Mawb. Think there are pre retirement courses provided by some employers, no idea how helpful they are and whether they focus on practical or emotional issues, perhaps both. I found it a difficult time. I’d say it has taken me almost 3 years to adjust to retirement and have a sense of contentment. We had moved area 18 months before I stopped work so no long term contacts or friends. Looking back although that was certainly a factor it was primarily because I loved my work and leaving it left a hole it has taken a while to almost fill.

I didn't get a choice. I was made 'voluntarily' redundant into early retirement in my early 50s, in other words I jumped before I was pushed. I enjoyed my work and did not really want to go. I tried to get another job but couldn't.

In my case I had so many hobbies and other interests that I hit the ground running. Within six weeks I started an MA course at a distant university and became a weekly commuter for a year.

DH had a lot of hassle before the same happened to him at about 60. He too was glad to go, but in his case he was able to keep working part time as a self-employed contractor and 15 years later is still doing the occasional job. He also had lots of hobbies and interests and chose a return to university as part of the occupation of the first years in retirement.

We have both always been moneywise, we had both made sure we paid into pension schemes, paying extra where appropriate and had always monitored our situation in retirement. We also inherited some money while I was working out my notice.

DH and I didn't have many problems settling into retirement together. Neither of us is a sit in the house, do everything together person and we have very different interests and activities so at times we felt we didn't see anymore of each other than when we were working. DH's self employed contracts took him abroad nearly as much as when he was working and, certainly for as long.

We have interests in common and our family. We live too far away to do any child care and anyway our DGC are now beyond that stage, although we did do more than 15 years of caring for various elderly relatives.

We never had enough time to find retirement a shock.

I would be a bit surprised if someone was at the peak of their career aged sixty-five.
Don't retire before you are sixty-five unless you have too, then the decision is taken out of your hands and is far easier to accept.

I enjoy being retired or semi retired, i do a little care work now and then which helps with the finances. It's great to be able to potter in the house or garden and in the recent hot weather i was glad not to be working full time in that heat. I find plenty to keep me busy and i enjoy going out and about or visiting friends and family.In fact on checking my calender today i have only one day where i am at home all day for the next ten days and i dont do charity work, i don't have time!!!

If its financially viable then why not retire before 65 eazybee so many things to do and have time to smell the roses.

I really enjoy being retired and haven't found it difficult at all. There is always something to do. I joined the U3A, have more time to spend with grandchildren. I just enjoy being me, and not being restrained by the clock. Whether pottering in the house and garden, reading a book, or trying out a new recipe. I have never been bored (yet)

My other half though is 67 and still working, as he cannot imagine how he will fill his day

I hate retirement I felt I lost everything it came unexpectedly and soon after the death of both parents I went very very low until I found a voluntary job and now wake up raring to go on work days

Although my life is very busy with volunteering work etc., I can honestly say I dislike retirement intensely.

Before I retired I attended a workshop at my place of employment run by an organisation appalled Later Life. They offer lots of ideas and support and resources on their website.

I was/am a SAHM (and now grandmother) and haven't, therefore, retired. Dh worked until he was 71 and had lots of things planned some of which stuck and some of which didn't.

I think it's important to keep busy but also to have 'down' times.

I think Sodapop makes some really important points. We didn’t really discuss what we wanted out of retirement and Irealise now our expectations are quite different. So that has meant compromise.
I always aimed for early retirement and that was 6 years ago. I’m half way through an OU degree, something I’d long wanted to do. I’ve had a career which I’ve mostly enjoyed but I’ve never felt that I should be defined just by my work .

I love being retired, just hated every job I ever had but I am not a sociable person so lovely long days of not talking to anyone and doing exactly how I please suits me. Never lived with anyone so no one else to consider, family close by but no routine , utter bliss.

I retired from a corporate job when I was 51 to become a professional garden designer, and retired again from that two years ago. I now just enjoy what I want to do and, as time has gone, on I've stumbled across new hobbies - jewellery making, botanical paintingand taking on an allotment.

I contribute to local radio ocasionally and sometimes give talks on gardening - but only if I want to.

I wasn't sure what I would do when I gave up my design business; I didn't set out to have particular hobbies, they just happened along the way.

I would say not to overthink things, try and go with the flow and see what happens. I've never wondered 'who I am'. A little serendipity in our lives is always welcome.

I can appreciate the difficulties some people face in retirement, both social and financial.
I have a couple of friends who are taking a long time to adjust.
DH left working for others ( he won’t use the R word ) early but continues his profession, working in his own business, part time.
But I love being retired from work, not retired from life! At first I needed something to focus my mind on so did a PG qualification. Hard work, but enjoyable. Then I could give more time to two hobbies, one for the summer months, one for the winter.
We’re all different.

I adore retirement as does my DH. He was fed up of commuting, the constant reorganisation and the way corporate HR treats the workforce nowadays, and I was fed up of the stress and long hours working in education as a school leader. (And I was at the peak of my career, best time to go I thought).
We prepared for a year, both of us having hobbies and interests of our own and we are very comfortable financially as we prepared and saved for many years for that too.
I am director of two charities and go to various reading and social groups, and don’t feel I have lost status in my community.
But I agree with the OP that many people do not seem to think this through enough or prepare for it. Whilst most people in our village are retired and loving it I also know some who are going to be living on basic pension and don’t know what to do with themselves while they are at home. A form of life course might help but it would need to be perhaps at the beginning, middle and before the last year of work for preparation beforehand.

easybee why should you be surprised if someone was at the peak of their career just before they retire (or at 65)?

Certainly financially this was when I was a the ‘peak’ and status-wise too?

I suppose it very much depends on their ‘job’ but those with a ‘career’ could very well be.

There were all sorts of pre retirement courses going just before I retired. It seemed like a bit of a gravy train for businesses running these and marketing them to organisations. I was offered the chance to do a 10 week (one day a week) course but turned it down. My friend did it and enjoyed it though.
Retirement is what you make it. Of course it helps if the finances are in place. Planning for it should actually start in people's 20s and 30s but who's listening then. I'm forever grateful that my Dad made me start contributing to my pension back then even though I couldn't afford it and really didn't want to think about it.

I suppose nobody knows how they will feel until they actually do it! I retired at 57 because my workplace pension was pretty healthy and as I was only working 50% oof the week, it was financially viable. I couldnt wait, even though I was reasonably happy in my job! After 4 weeks of my retirement my DH found out he had an eye problem which would prevent him from driving (he was a HGV driver) and has also taken ill health retirement with a reasonable pension. We aren't rich by any means, but the house is paid for and both children are independent now. It is THE best thing for us! After the initial sadness and adjustment, because DH couldnt drive anymore, we have never been more content. Don't ask me what we do everyday, most days I have no idea! Our relationship is so much more relaxed, without the stresses of work. Everything is done at a much slower pace and we have time to enjoy the small things! I don't wish to sound smug, as I know relationships have suffered after retirement, but I am lucky enough to be able to say, I can't remember the last time we had a cross word! Regarding the OP post, I would say go for it! I only ever worked because I needed the money! Not everyone is the same I know, but don't wait too long!

I think it is a period of transition and change and can be stressful.
Not everybody goes from full on work to retirement over night.
Its interesting Helen that you say you have no wish to sound smug, you certainly dont but a few other people do.