Eating out but not talking.

We just spent 10 days in France. OH and I and DD and GD. I checked my currency card account on the tablet and did one posting. That was all. Mostly we chatted amongst ourselves, staff and even other diners! A great time was had by all! We got into several conversations with other people, not all of them were British. That's what made the holiday!

Methinks some mothers do protest too much.

My kids don't use screens at the table but
A: nobody's perfect, especially if I'm out eating cake or fries LOL I can't be deeming myself the yardstick of virtue if Im stuffing my face with treats
B: everyones family has different needs. What works for my family might not work for someone else
C: snapshots are just that!

"Some very angry people on here"
Poster gets worked up by her fellow diners who were minding their own business - calls anyone who disagrees angry. Deflection much?

,* My comment was to Flexible Friend

Will your son be looking to you for a deposit on his first house...I wonder.

Some very angry people on here who can't acknowledge what research has shown to be true. And I'm not talking about those who have valid reasons for using phones at the dining table. I too use my phone for internet banking purchasing texting emailing news ( first thing every morning in bed) directions booking flights and more! I still don't use it instead of interacting. And I am perfectly entitled to my views which I have expressed without being rude. I'm not some really old grumpy grandparent. Methinks some mothers do protest too much.

Makes me want to cry for the future

Before we reached this 'compromise' i spent most of time we were out to eat with my son nagging& whining to let him go get his gameplayer or whatever,and whining/nagging for me& his older brother to hurry up& finish our meal so he could go because he was bored.I know which i now prefer.

Victoria Prooday has no qualifications in child psychology she is an occupational therapist. There has also been a massive increase of children diagnosed with Autism.

An American study found from a 1 in 150 children in 2000 autism prevalence leapt to 1 in 68 by 2014.

ADHD is cause by physiological changes in the brain nothing to do with watching one to many you tube videos. Children with ADHD do have to be careful with the use of screens but my son’s ADHD wasn’t caused by them.

When we go anywhere(weekend away etc) my 15 yr old son takes all his portable stuff with him- DSXL(a small portable game player)and mobile phone& chromebook laptop.He often wants to take them to the table if we eat out but i only let him play if we're waiting ages for food or afterwards if hes finished first.and then only his phone OR DS player.NOT everything at once.it usually works out ok as a compromise.&often he forgets to take them anyway.

Agree...its tedious going out for coffee/a meal with someone who is muttering judgements about the rest of the room (usually louder than they realise). If you are as engrossed in practicing your conversation skills as you say they should be, how do you have time to take note of how long so and so at the table in the middle has had her phone out?

Everyone would do just as well to concentrate on their own lives there is an old saying of “he who is without sin can cast the 1st stone”

There are a lot of grandparents who could do with remembering that the only reason they are grandparents is because their child has had a child. It’s nothing to do with parenting abilities.

No parent is perfect I know for sure that i’m not but I recognise that and refuse to pass judgments over other parents when I no nothing of their lives or stresses at that moment in time.

My Dad used to sit behind his newspaper at the breakfast table as it was pretty much the only time of the day he had time to look at it. I do the same except it is downloaded onto my phone or iPad. I read all my books off them, do my banking, pay the restaurant (in some cases ordering my meal from one) and may even be looking for coupons that I downloaded to take some of the money off the bill. I was really browned off the other day when the waiter made a comment about me being on the phone the other day when I was with my Mum, daughter and grandaughter. I had spent 2 hours in the restaurant and at the very end I got my phone out to give him a coupon before I asked for the bill. As soon as I had done that, I put the phone away. My daughter was getting her phone out to pay the bill (it's first use too) yet he still commented that you young people are always on the phone. I thought it was really rude and judgmental.

I wasn't aware this topic had been posted before. I do wish I had checked!!!

Have been in a soft play centre where parents were on phones. Two girls 7 9 ish came running up to the table and were speaking to the adults. Neither one lifted their head. Girls ran off, came back, spoke then ran off again at least another three times. Not once did the adults look up from their phones until they were all leaving. I felt so angry at the adults.

Could I introduce an incident just observed? Driving towards a T junction, I observed a small child with a scooter. She was dangerously over the pavement edge, waiting for the traffic but pushing the scooter back and forth into the road. Nobody seemed to be with her. I went past her at snail's pace, and when I turned the corner eventually - after maybe 100 yards - saw her mother (I assume). She was walking slowly, texting on her mobile phone, eyes glued to it, oblivious to the danger her child was in. That child could have been run over, or abducted, and the mother would not have known until it was too late. Clearly, the phone was more important than the child. Not deliberately, I know. But whilst I can see both sides on the phones in restaurant debate, I see no room in what I saw for forgiveness.

So sad, especially at the weekend, which used to be quality family time.

when was this magical time when family members were constantly enthralled by each other? Before mobiles my mother was always "ignoring" me whilst she gossiped on the landland or read her magazines LOL. My dad would usually be found reading the newspaper (which I for one now do on my phone) or reading his hobby prescription magazine.

Which was pretty standard really. At my best mates house we were usually banned from the house by her dad when the sport was on, other best friends dad spent his weekends tinkering out back. She and her sister mostly faught over whose turn it was to call friends on the landline

I dont remember these weekend long family conversations!!

How I agree with most who have posted here. What is wrong with people that they are so obsessed with their devices? I was having coffee in a well know chain yesterday, waiting for a friend. The table next to me was occupied by a mother, father and young daughter. Mum & dad were scrolling through their phones the whole time and the daughter was on her iPad, attached to headphones. I sat for an hour and watched the whole sorry situation, where none of them spoke to each other for the entire duration. So sad, especially at the weekend, which used to be quality family time.

When GS1 was about 2 we were having lunch in M&S (as we often did) and I was chatting away to him when a lady came over and said how love!y it was to see me talking to him! It just seemed natural to me.

Ellie Anne that is so sad! My DH would often sit at the dinner table for a couple of hours just talking about our day or whatever subject came up. As I said previously, tweets. texts and Facebook will always be there - one day the person across the table may not be.

Its really sad, no matter what FLEXIBLE says.People glued to their phones, older people alike its so rude to ignore the person you are with, no matter what age, but parents particularly ignoring their small children is NOT acceptable, they should communicate verbally and visually,or what hope have these children of developing social skills,I-Phone, i-Pads certainly wont teach them these skills,sorry Flexible

I won’t go out for a meal with husband unless some other members of the family are there because we have no conversation and I get too stressed to eat. On the rare occasions we eat together at home I make sure there is something on tv usually the news or pointless, th cover the silence.

It soundalike extremely bad manners to me! I am proud to say my children still make their children abide by table manners. No toys or books at the table and they say "Thank you for my dinner, Please may I get down?"

Perhaps we are too old-fashioned but I am really proud of them.

Actually I have observed the same thing. Sometimes it's not for a little while. I know parents who are always on their mobiles/tablets etc that lasts all day. They don't seem bothered about their kids. While mum is busy on the phone kids are bringing themselves up and it shows by their behaviour. They're never chastised or taught anything by their parents. Almost like the parents don't parent them. Then they stick them in bed at 7 so no time at all for parenting. It's sad

I think threads like this have been done to death and are always about putting younger people down. The thing is,when we were younger there was no modern teçhnology or social media or we might have been exactly the same! Each generation is different but it doesn't mean they are wrong. You have no idea how this family interact in private. I sense a wee bit of virtue signalling here.

Any time spent with my immediate family is considered 'quality' by me. This anti-phone theme seems to be a regular matter for discussion here. Tend to agree with much of what FF is verbalising here. My children assure me that the phones will be disappearing very soon as modern technology is moving on in leaps and bounds. Can't wait to see what will replace them!