Eating out but not talking.

I so agree, annep. I watched something very similar recently where a baby had his first birthday meal out with mum and dad. Mum and dad had phones out throughout and baby had iPad. The 1st birthday balloon was tied to the high chair.

We booked a meal in a restaurant in Edinburgh forgetting it was Valentine’s night. We were the eldest couple in the place by many years, the other diners being young people in their 20s and 30s. We were the only couple talking, however, the others intent on instagramming their food. It was eerie eating in near silence from the other tables!

Poor child Allegretto. And I wonder what the staff thought Dora.. I like my phone and internet but definitely not when you are with other people.

And at some point the parents with the older child will wonder why he finds it hard to socialise and the parents with the baby will wonder why he's not talking. Why do people who I assume are reasonably bright have to act in such a stupid way. Surely eating out is a treat to be enjoyed together.

Mind you, phones or no phones, you sometimes see couples out to eat together and they can't think of a thing to say!

Seems to be the way of the world at present annep phones take precedence over everything. I agree social interaction is reduced to people passing round pics on their phones. I think there should be a ban in restaurants, no screens at the table.

The other week in the play park, I chatted and laughed with not only my own small DGC but with a serious little boy who joined us...his own Daddy was sitting on a bench nearby glued to his phone, not speaking into it, but playing games or texting.This was for almost an hour.The child didn’t want us to leave.
I think this scenario is happening wherever you go, in the park, in coffee shops pubs and public spaces, and you do wonder what’s happening at home, parents sitting looking at phones/tablets while the children try and fail to engage their attention? Whilst gadgets are useful it’s sad for children not to engage with their parents and vice versa.

I watched a similar scenario about 5 years ago. In this case parents, son of about 12 and a grandmother. In this case, although son and father had phones, they actually used them very little.

So all four sat there, for at least 45 minutes (at which point we had finished our meal and left) not saying a word, except when they ordered their meal, not looking at phones, just staring into blank space, with expressionless faces. It didn't look as if they had had a row, faces were not stony.

So unlike my own dear family, where getting a word in edgewise at any time is difficult and sometimes silence is to be wished for.

I find the rapidity with which this phenomena of people being permanently attached to their devices has escalated frightening. I’m afraid my children and their children are guilty of it, though only now that my grandson is older. It rarely happens if we are eating out - mostly because they know I frown on it - and never when we are eating at home. But the rest of the time..... My heart sinks when I see children as young as three with phones. I picked up a book from the library last week about keeping children safe on line. It terrified me.

Eating out may be a treat for some people but youngsters tend to eat out several times a week, my son and his gf certainly do as do most of their friends so it's really no different to eating at home except someone else did the cooking. So many of you are seeing this from your own perspective and quite possibly misinterpreting what you see.

I don't think eating at home should be done in silence and on phones.

No nor do I but who made the older generation judge and jury?

I don't think posters are being "judge and jury", simply stating that it is sad when people prefer to engage with their phones rather than with a real live person

Was waiting to pay for goods in TKM.. yesterday, behind me dear little chap aged about 18months in his pushchair on an iPad!!! Mum on her phone, store was busy so waited quite a while, no interaction between them at all, I was sad for both of them, what a waste of some lovely chat time, so FlexibleFriend I am definitely one of the older generation judge and jury, that little lad probably has very limited conversational skills, I only hope he goes to a decent nursery☹️

We saw a young woman walking along with a baby in a pushchair glued to her phone which she of course held in the air in front of her face- she walked right into the road and oncoming traffic- luckily she pulled back but its a disaster waiting to happen.

When people walk towards me holding their phone in the air I shout 'LOOK UP' very loudly they probably think I'm mad but duh!!!

DH and I eat out probably more than we should & see couples of all ages who do not communicate ..some use mobiles some don't! Equally there are noisy tables too! With my brother & SiL in a lovely pub in Cowfold having dinner the other evening. We were laughing and enjoying our catch up..but got dirty looks from a couple obviously taking 'mum' out for dinner as they felt we were too noisy!

I recently spent time with a woman who spent her time ranting about how young people cant converse.... everyone was avoiding her and I was thinking "lady, if all you have to say is to criticise young people then you are the one lacking social skills! No wonder people are looking at their phones to avoid eye contact with you!"

As for not talking in Restraunts, eating out isnt necessarily a treat/special occasion. My ex and I had several "last suppers": in the midst of a break up noone feels like cooking but you both still gotta eat!

Again during a close bereavement, noone in the family felt like cooking/shopping/(or eating anothet well intentioned sympathy caserole) so again lots of eating out but very little chat.

I think its that phones and gadgets are so absorbing that people get totally engrossed in them.
They often don't even take in the fact that someone is speaking to them.

Oh please just because in the short time you observe them looking at their phones or their ipads doesn't mean they wont have the ability to speak, converse intelligently with others. What makes you think you would have behaved differently had ipads been around in your day. I'm sure they find time to interact with their kids just as much as previous generations did it's only the means of interaction have changed. They clearly need a good nursery because their parenta are so lacking in any ability whatsoever , seriously what tosh. Those kids will grow up just as the generations before them did, things change but no one has lost the ability to talk yet, they just find their ipad or phone more engaging than whoever they are sitting with.

I always understood meal times (dinner together) to be an important time for families to catch up with how their day had been.
Better than 'having a talk' as its more relaxed.
Perhaps that idea is outdated now.

It does seem a shame. I like technology in its place but I don't use my phone at the table when out with friends or family, other than to show them photographs. They show me their photographs too so that could be described as a group activity.

Once or twice I've had a relation in hospital and I've said to people at the table in advance that, if my phone goes, I may quickly answer it and leave the table for the conversation. However, I think that is a different situation.

Of course there will always be people eating out who aren't in the mood for talking but they are the exception. The excuse that its not a treat nowadays...means its acceptable to sit round the table at home ..everyone on phones/ tablets etc? You may as well not be together.
Will they grow up the same? Apparently the number of lonely young people is on the increase. Could this be part of the problem?
It's not just older people who think like this. My daughter and daughter in law do.
As for older people being judge and jury...I think thats a bit strong. Maybe we can just see some changes that aren't necessarily good or progress because we are older and have luved through change.
I'm not sure banning phones is feasible although it sounds good in theory.

Maybe some of the reason people are on their phones is because the canned muzak in the background is so loud that normal speech is impossible.

There are a couple of restaurants locally whose food I like but the background noise makes it a misery to eat there. I have asked for music to be turned down but it doesn't usually last long before someone cranks it up again.

Flexible perhaps you are young yourself?
It’s certain to me from what I saw in the play park that the Dad who ignored his young child for almost an hour, so much so that the little chap was glued to our side and enjoyed talking and playing with us and didn’t want us to leave, was probably was even worse at home, glued to a device, if he could be like that in public.
Mothers with eyes on phones while pushing their infants in pushchairs is a commin sight, as are Mothers in cafes, ignoring their children.It’s sad!