Eating out but not talking.

On two occasions visiting our favourite restaurant, we were seated next to a table of 8 mixed aged people. They were so loud we couldn't hear each other speak, finished our meal quickly and left. We won't be returning there. I would have loved it if they had all got their phones out and kept quiet. the noise totally spoilt our meal.

With two GC on the spectrum, I understand the use of devices to occupy them during the long wait for food in good restaurants, though they have now learnt they may not have them whilst actually eating.
However I spotted this today from a child psychologist Victoria Prooday. She mentions these facts:
1 in 5 children has mental heath Problems
43% increase in ADHD
37% increase in teen depression
Then she offers a ‘diagnosis’ or list of potential causes and a prescription or list of solutions which will not be well received and will undoubtedly bring out all the ‘exceptions to the rule’ children. It does bear thinking about, however unpalatable it is.

My DD and SIL insist on no phones eating at home and All phones in the middle of the table when eating out as a family.

So they all put their fancy iPhones on the table and I put my old fashioned little Nokia on top. It caused laughter around the table so a good start to the evening.

This procedure has not come easily, a lot of arguments early on in the process but accepted by all now.

I often wonder how children will learn to socialise when parents are constantly on their phones . I was out walking the other day a family of four appeared with a young child in the pushchair was trying to get his parents' attention but they weren't listening to him - on their phones. How rejected must that young child have felt??

Why do you feel judged?
The thread is about families who spend their whole mealtime glued to their phones.
Your children use their tech until their food arrives.

Indeed - some children are actually starting school, and have no idea what their name is as they are just not spoken to at all!

I worry about my little DGD who at almost 1 has barely met another child (although in every other aspect my daughter is a great Mum, although not a great daughter sadly ....) but she has turned out to be very anxious since having baby and just will not go out and mix - I did warn her that having a baby could be socially isolating and to go to classes to meet other new Mums in the same boat - but of course I have no valid opinion whatsoever so was ignored - a 'told you so' moment but I wouldn't say it to her face!!

There seems to be a lot of judgement around from why I can make see everyone seems to forget that you see a snapshot into that families life at that moment in time.

My son and daughter use phones/tablets while waiting for food if we are in a restaurant usually on a Sunday because we have spent all day doing family activities.

This generation of grandparents need to remember that it was them who have raised this generation of parents and I for one am sick and tired of being judged as a parent.

It was me and my children who checked an older couple were ok today when the wife with dementia had gone to the toilet and needed to be guided back to their table. Not the grandparent generation who sat and ignored them.

This says it all ....

I hate that too - my daughter and I have come to a compromise when we eat out with DGC. They can have their phones/tablets until the meal arrives then they go away until we are finished. My daughter is actually the worst offender as she will often get her phone back out between courses!

One thing I cannot understand is how these young people walking along the street looking at their phones can actually see anything on them. If I have to look at my phone outside I cannot see anything clearly on the screen (wearing specs).

I remember always saying, when we went out for a meal, back in the day when it would definitely have been considered either a treat or part of the courtship ritual, that all the couples sitting in silence were the married ones lol! Wonder how often I was correct. Newly married would have been the exception.

Seen similar in our local Lakeland Plastics cafe, so sad - both the child and the adults are missing so much of childhood that will soon be gone forever

That is sad..especially as he could not even see out of the window!
I am like your visitors silverlining as I use my mobile as a newspaper in the morning as DH is reading the real one we have delivered! I think I would do my looking in the bedroom though!

Flexible, I cannot agree with you, In my lifetime and professional work as a teacher I have seen a rapid decrease in schoolchildren's vocabulary and social skills.

The children most badly off in these respects turned out almost always to be children from homes where the family no longer ate a meal together and talked while at the table.

This is by no means only my opinion, practically any teacher, social worker, GP or health visitor will be able to think of examples of this very thing.

Certainly, children will continue to be born with the faculty to learn human speech, but those with parents who do not talk to them will have very limited language skills. It is not the responsibility of nurseries or schools to teach children the various forms of human interaction - these ought to be acquired at home.

Turning the thread around. Coming home on the bus, I sat across and behind a young mother and boy toddler. Mum (presumably) sat near the window- child on the aisle seat. I was immediately aware of this ‘interesting’ set up. All the time she was on her mobile, never talked or interacted with this poor child and certainly never put him on her knee to talk to him about the world through the window. I so wanted to scoop him up and hug/talk to him. I was travelling about 4 miles. When I got off the bus, the situation hadn’t changed. ☹️ So sad.

I think it is happening the world over. But it was good to see how parents tackled it at a restaurant here in Portugal a couple of weeks ago.
Parents with a son and daughter sat at the table next to us. All 4 were on phones but as soon as the first course without a word all the phones were put down on the table face down amd stayed there until they left. The bigger problem here seems to be the TV screens on the walls in restaurants. It's almost as bad as in America.

We have just had an elderly couple (both mid 70s) staying with us. They are friends that we only see once a year. Every breakfast time they spent all the time on their iphones checking the weather, the latest news and catching up with emails!
Evening meals, at home or going out, were fine and full of animated conversation. I think it has become a way of life for many people and I guess they felt 'at home' enough in my house to feel it was ok!
So, because you see a couple or family engrossed on their phones once it doesn't necessarily mean they behave like that all the time.

We had our special annual service in church, this morning, for children who have just started school.
I am in the choir, and 'on the shelf' at the rear of the church, so have an overview of the congregation. I was flabbergasted to see two children spend the entire service glued to their tablets, playing games. The parents didn't seem the least bit embarrassed about it.
Most of the others paid fairly good attention throughout though, sadly, we probably won't see most of them again until they make their first Holy Communion - and then only for a couple of weeks. Our church school is one of the best in the area, so very popular. Unfortunately few of the parents help to support the school financially, and it falls on the regular church attenders.

My Grandson is autistic and unable to talk. We use an iPad when we are eating out because otherwise he throws things and shrieks at the top of his voice. He will happily munch his way through his dinner watching the iPad. I have loaded educational games for the one he uses when out with me and he rarely has it at other times. We use it to make other diners’ meal more pleasant rather than for our own convenience. It’s easy to make judgements about why a child is being entertained in this manner (I was guilty of it with my own GS) but you really don’t know the back story.

I am not angry. I don't like assumptions based on anecdotal evidence and try to put my experience forward to give another perspective. Just got back from a quick trip to local cafe with DD & DGD2. Of the 14 or so people in the cafe 2 used mobiles whilst I was there. One was me showin DD2 photo of her nephew.

Ah well, it should stop people moaning about noisy children in restaurants. Silver linings and all that....

One of the many reasons why we do not have a mobile phone of any description whatsoever. Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?
Are we the only ones left alive in the civilised world who doesn't have one of these awful machines? All very well in an emergency, agreed, but when one overhears "djer wan cauliflower or broccoli fer dinna" then = enough said.
Anyway, what did they all do 20 years ago? Talk together [probably]

Why is this thread making some people so angry??

Lots of horror and some indignation on here about the apparent obsession with overuse of mobiles etc in restaurants. As I have said it is not my experience! Yes I see it..but it is the minority rather than majority in my experience! I fully agree that SOME parents use their phone to the exclusion of noticing children..but I suspect these are parents who would probably always prioritise their interests over their child's. I disagree that it is MOST parents..or most children. I also pick up DGC from 2 schools and only a few people on phones. Majority are chatting to each other.

Monica I also completely and utterly agree with every word you have posted on this thread!