Life begins at 70

Nankate I'm so envious of you grans who can wear leggings. I bought some earlier this year but my legs are so thin they looked like sticks in them. I do like the Tunic tops but I have to wear them with trousers and it's not the same look.

I really think that sometimes we overthink and over worry about the reaction of others. For example, his response for the garden really irritated me. Because of a few health issues, I was able to do less. He would help, but only when it suited him and not always with a good heart. He is quite a negative person and will always see 20 problems in any suggestion. Once I had my “sod it” moment he was fine and now enjoys the garden.

The same with the dog. There were legitimate reasons for not having a dog in the days when I worked, had holidays and was a carer for 3 oldies and a horde of grandkids. Like the garden, I just announced that I was getting a rescue dog and he accepted the decision. Of course he loves her to bits now.

Fab post ! I am 72 on Monday and about to start painting Smilestones (local group on FB) You paint them and then hide them for others to find or keep if you wish. It is such a nice surprise to find one. So I have the pebbles, I have the acrylic paint but since Tuesday I also have a broken shoulder ? So counting the days til the sling comes off and enjoying other peoples handywork in the meantime.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201809/medium-747902-7528b583-cfa0-47d2-86d8-6a49de6b572a.jpeg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201809/medium-664500-9b34ad46-6d50-4d4e-92f9-adcef8dedf40.jpeg

This is my garden and this is my dog

I'm having the same reaction to picking up after husband after 46 years of trying to 'sort him out'. I've given up...which doesn't mean I pick up either. I just walk around or over his mess! It takes a strong will and a now 'couldn't care less attitude' which I've acquired over the years...mostly by watching my VERY sensible daughter who is always asking the ??? as to why I do ridiculous "waste of your time jobs". She's right life is getting much too short for bothering about inside out socks... unbuttoned shirts... and boxers on the bathroom floor. I just wait till he has to pick them up , as if it's not in wash basket it don't get washed!! End of!! I run a Hoover round just once a week...no longer pull out the furniture cos if I can't see it nor can anyone else! My home is clean and reasonable untidy...I just don't care anymore. Oh and I learnt NOT to iron a few years ago...special occasions only will entice me to plug the iron in ...funerals only...I don't attend weddings anymore! I'm 67 and not long retired...my husband made sure he had a big enough pension to allow himself to retire at 50...I on other hand have slogged on for another 24 years whilst he's sat and watched tv.I owe him no more blood sweat and tears so from now on I'll read my books..lunch with my friends ...meet up with my sister ...ride my bike...swim and walk 5 miles a day. Cook only when I want to cook and bugger anybody who doesn't like the situ. The rest of my life is owed by others to me and I'm grabbing it with both hands. If any want to carry on in be way they've resented all they're marriage it's because you enjoy moaning about it. Liberated yourselves ladies and say "actually , no I'm not doing that no more" then grab your life and run with it! Good luck.

A bun is really not a good look.why not get a Judy Dench which will make you look younger.

kircubbin it's not really about the bun is it? It's about doing what we want to do for a change. Flossie wanted a bun and had the determination to do it. I would love a gardener as I can't get much outside these days. That's not going to happen, but I do aim to do more activities when I've a bit more time.

Go for it Ladies, I'm 63 with health issues but still get out & about, 2 weekends away this year, meeting friends for meals but organising my own accommodation & free time. It helps I'm on my own (widow) so don't have to answer to any-one, DGS live close but DD doesn't require any help from "Nan's Taxi", I'm here if available just tend to visit as Nan not childcare

I've gone on holiday on my own, twice a year I drive 300 miles each way to see my DM. Joined Meet Up groups, going to different places, takes some nerve to walk into the unknown, both location & people.

My hair is very long, most of the time it's in a bun but occasionally a pony tail. Nail varnish can be very startling colours, I've got long finger nails despite doing housework & gardening

I also decided to grow my hair after my hairdresser started charging £50 a pop. I've also let it go curly and yes it's so liberating! I do dye it myself though- can't bear the grey! I also now put my foot down about certain things as DH would have all his own way otherwise! Quite like being older apart from the wrinkles!

Wonderful to hear what you have all been doing FOR YOURSELVES instead of for others for a change! I turned 65 this year, and did something I have wanted to do for years, trained as a Family Celebrant.....am in the process of setting up my website and thinking about how to market myself, but even if it never takes off I will at least know I trained, and enjoyed it. Next thing is to learn to swim crawl, I swim regularly but a very deliberate and slow breaststroke, and watch my friend's elegant crawl with envy.....and the 'pipe dream' is to buy the little house that is being built next door to my daughter's home in Australia.....well, I can dream!

Kircubbin2000. I had a Judy Dench when I first went grey and I did suit me (I think). The Judy Dench look is extremely high maintenance and requires frequent hairdresser visits. As I said in my original post, it is these I am avoiding now by being able to tie it up. Of course the whole point of this post is not worrying whether “a bun is a good look”. It is “my” look. I get up in the morning, tie it up, and don’t have to think about it all day.

Great post Flossie. Very inspiring?

Loved reading how you are all liberating yourselves and doing things that you want to. I am also just beginning to realise that this is my life and if I want to do something I should do it. I'm starting off in a very small way. I have just finished my second 1000 piece jigsaw. Not much I know, but my OH scoffed a bit when he saw what I was doing and complained that I was taking up room on the dining table. (Never mind he had a laptop and papers all over his end) So when I finished the first, I bought another and now I have finished that one I'm deciding which one to do next. I find that the puzzles really make me concentrate and time flies by. An hour or two can pass so quickly and I'm trying not to feel guilty about not doing other 'stuff'. Also if I want to sit and read my book I do that as well. I'm really learning to enjoy time and not feel that I should be doing this that or the other.

I think that many of us were born around the war years. We grew up when male and femal duties were very clearly defined. We accepted that our lot in life was to take second place to older members of society and to males.

The two generations below us are less hidebound. I love the fact that my grandsons’ extra activities include, football, tennis swimming, gymnastics and ballet. My granddaughters can do any sport they wish. At school, I hated sewing and would have loved a chance to try metalwork and woodwork. I am sure my brother would have found typing and cookery useful skill to learn.

I'm very nearly 70. Two years ago I joined a Viking re-enactment group. We go away for weekends, live in wattle & daub huts and cook on a camp fire. In the "big rains" at Easter my hut flooded. The Vikings carried away my belongings and put them in a drier hut. This had to be followed by a discussion of whether this counted as pillaging, and if so was it consensual.

Oh you are such an inspiring, get up and go do it lot,I am 71 next week and still looking after DH in this too big house(previously posted about). I want to do something different and for me but I don't know what !!! I don't want to join a choir , did that , didn't like it, did yoga class, didn't like it,, in my dreams I want a flat with a balcony overlooking the sea, I will keep the dream, NanKate, can I ask where you got your teal leggings, I want a change from black leggings, your outfit sounds fab , enjoy wearing it,

I'm now 71 and in charge of my life having just had a second knee replacement op. arthritis had stopped me doing all sorts of things before my 70th birthday - I haven't been able to drive since just after I was 69. so I'm reclaiming my car after it being used by my daughter for two years - emptied all the rubbish out earlier and tomorrow it'll go for a wash and brush up.
I've got someone coming to take rubbish away on Tuesday (daughter was always too busy to help). And I've got a lovely lady gardener coming on Thursday to start taming my garden (neither daughter or granddaughters who all live with me are gardeners). I haven't been able to garden for several years so getting the garden looking good again is on my list.
Also on the list are repairs to fences - I've saved up for these and have enough to do at least my back fence.
Apart from that I want to go to evening classes and to get back to swimming. not a big list but one which has been around for a while.
Next week too I'm having my hair done (only a blow dry - I'll do my colour myself) and I'm having my acrylic nails put back again (had to get them taken off for the op) and i think i'll have them done gold with sparkles ..... got to have the bling!
So my life is actually starting at 71! Better late than never - I'm going to really enjoy this decade as I deserve it!

Thank you all for the wonderfully positive insights into being true to yourself. At 58, I am still in the people pleasing phase - with family, friends and work all competing for my time and energies. You have made me continue with my plans to retire early and with DH escape to explore our beautiful island. Bessings to all.

I know someone in my family who has been a stay-at-home wife and mother all her life. A few years ago she announced she was retiring, and when her family tittered and said "From what?" She said "From what I used to do."

So now she does very little apart from reading, telly, looking after her 3 rescue dogs and being out and about with friends socialising and drinking wine!

It was as if her actions gave me permission too to say "I'm not doing that [insert activity] any more".

E.g. - I think I was the only woman in London who was still washing dishes by hand, so I stopped. (I hate washing dishes). Miraculously, a dishwasher was installed in the kitchen. I no longer soak and scrub muddy sports gear endlessly by hand (he does it himself) - you get the drift.

Kircubbin I covet having a bun, it just doesn't suit me. I think long hair tied up looks so elegant. My gran always wore a fabulous bun low in her neck, she was gorgeous.

I reached the age of 70 having been a people pleaser for most of my life and carer of some sort, two sets of children and then looking after my lovely Mum for the last 11 years. 8 months later my Mum died and my DH had left 3 weeks earlier. So for the first time in my life I was in charge of it. I was at last able to do what I wanted when I wanted. That was a revelation. Now I am 74 and my DH and I have been back together for over two years but I am my own person and he respects that. I can honestly say that at this moment I am very content with my life.

I’m 70 this December. I’ve made a huge effort to be at peace with life. This is a great post, thank you Flossieturner.

A recipe for contentment in your 70s

1) Accept what you cannot change
2) Distance yourself from people who make you unhappy
3) Do things which you really enjoy
4) Learn to say no to things you don’t want to do, however worthy they are
5) Love the skin you’re in

It works for me ?

Life began for me the day I was born. I have always done the things I wanted to do and bought my dd and gd up the same way.
I didn’t marry a man who would tell me what to do in our married life we are a team, sometimes I may want to strangle him though.

NanKate another Libran here with a birthday soon and I've just bought bought two pairs of leggings too. Teal and black. Wore them with a tunic and DH said the outfit knocked years off me so I'll be getting more! Always been fearful of the 'mutton dressed as lamb' look, but have just decided that if I don't throw caution to the wind now I never will...

Thanks for the thread, Flossie, lots of interesting ideas to nick!

We are very trendy Joy us Librans.

I always admired the shalwar kamiz clothes some of my Asian students wore. I think the leggings and tunic are the western version.

I think I am due a purple streak in my hair. I had one the day I met DH for the first time 50 years ago. ?

A very happy birthday to Bellanonna for tomorrow and Granfran who will catch with me and be 72 on Monday.

Sorry the leggings don’t suit you Nipsmum I’m sure a nice pair of trews with a tunic will be trendy enough.

Aren’t we lucky that the era of Crimplene is well and truly over.