I have never regularly worn a red poppy - my great-aunts wore white ones, and my parents said that the War was best forgotten and would not take part in any services.
Later, as an adult, I decided to wear none. I saw that people got upset by white poppies (no reason why they should, but we're talking emotions, not reason) and I have no wish to cause distress.
I have only attended one remembrance service - really I did it for my grandmother, 100 years on from her brother's death - and I found it quite uncomfortable, lots of 'parade ground' type shouting.
However, this year, as part of a community effort, I have crocheted a lot of red poppies, and white ones for the Quaker installation 'Collateral Damage'.