Gift quandary

Regardless of what the others did, Jane, you did the right thing.

Well. Epic advice fail GNers! We went to the event last night empty handed as you all insisted (some more forcefully than others) and must have been the only people who hadn't brought a present! There were mounds of them!
These days 'no presents please' clearly has another meaning! I did feel

He has been quite specific, so no presents. I would just send a thank you note and respect his wishes.

His request needs to be respected, but you could send some flowers to the couple after the event, as a thank you.

I/we have always gone down the road of a cheque to the friend’s favourite charity, usually from our Charities Aid Foundation accoun.
Marks the birthday and everybody is a winner!

Font panic stella I'm not going to!!

Respect his wishes ! He is 50 - not a child who doesn't know his own mind . And if you took something because It just doesn't seem right not to give him some sort of present , everyone else will feel uncomfortable. Just don't do it .

We always say no gifts and would be annoyed if people disregarded our wishes.
Just attend and enjoy the meal, don't worry about giving something in return.

Boundaries. Accept his wishes. Plenty of people desperate for a charitable donation.

Friends of ours were married recently and stipulated no presents. They were a bit unhappy with the very few who brought them anyway, because they thought it made everyone else feel uncomfortable. I'd just leave it.

I think you should respect his wishes. If you feel the need to do something, then ask him what his favourite charity is and donate some money to that.

Good idea GrannyGravy! I think we'll do just that.

I would respect the request for no presents, but as SpringyChicken said, ask him if he has a favourite charity you could donate to.

My Sister in Law did this for her 60th, requested no presents, but named a charity we could donate to if we wished.

Asked her if her son knows his own mind that should say.

I'd be furious if you phoned my mother and asked me if I knew my own mind. He's 50. Respect his wishes.

Enjoy the evening, and then take him for a nice Sunday lunch in a few weeks time ??

He does not want a gift. Period.

I thought about that too. He's not got a partner so I can't run it past someone who might know him better. I might phone his mum. But that might irritate him if he found out.

As your friend has specified no presents, he might well be irritated if you ignore his wishes. Why not ask if he has a favourite charity and make a donation instead.