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Gift quandary

(20 Posts)
Jane10 Sun 18-Nov-18 13:24:11

DH and I have been invited to a dinner to celebrate a friend's 50th birthday. Its at a lovely restaurant and we're delighted and honoured to be asked. The host is a very nice man that I've known since he was a baby. What's the problem? Well the invitation states 'no presents please, just your company'. It just doesn't seem right not to give him some sort of present. I'll get him a card but would it be OK to give him, say, a bottle champagne? What do you think?

SpringyChicken Sun 18-Nov-18 13:27:48

As your friend has specified no presents, he might well be irritated if you ignore his wishes. Why not ask if he has a favourite charity and make a donation instead.

Jane10 Sun 18-Nov-18 13:45:26

I thought about that too. He's not got a partner so I can't run it past someone who might know him better. I might phone his mum. But that might irritate him if he found out.

Izabella Sun 18-Nov-18 13:49:21

He does not want a gift. Period.

GrannyGravy13 Sun 18-Nov-18 13:56:43

Enjoy the evening, and then take him for a nice Sunday lunch in a few weeks time 🍽🍾

Delibes Sun 18-Nov-18 14:05:09

I'd be furious if you phoned my mother and asked me if I knew my own mind. He's 50. Respect his wishes.

Delibes Sun 18-Nov-18 14:06:04

Asked her if her son knows his own mind that should say.

NannyJan53 Sun 18-Nov-18 14:15:51

I would respect the request for no presents, but as SpringyChicken said, ask him if he has a favourite charity you could donate to.

My Sister in Law did this for her 60th, requested no presents, but named a charity we could donate to if we wished.

Jane10 Sun 18-Nov-18 14:16:37

Good idea GrannyGravy! I think we'll do just that.

ditzyme Mon 19-Nov-18 10:58:49

I think you should respect his wishes. If you feel the need to do something, then ask him what his favourite charity is and donate some money to that.

Maggiemaybe Mon 19-Nov-18 11:33:07

Friends of ours were married recently and stipulated no presents. They were a bit unhappy with the very few who brought them anyway, because they thought it made everyone else feel uncomfortable. I'd just leave it.

oldbatty Tue 20-Nov-18 09:26:06

Boundaries. Accept his wishes. Plenty of people desperate for a charitable donation.

harrigran Tue 20-Nov-18 09:31:59

We always say no gifts and would be annoyed if people disregarded our wishes.
Just attend and enjoy the meal, don't worry about giving something in return.

stella1949 Tue 20-Nov-18 09:32:01

Respect his wishes ! He is 50 - not a child who doesn't know his own mind . And if you took something because It just doesn't seem right not to give him some sort of present , everyone else will feel uncomfortable. Just don't do it .

Jane10 Tue 20-Nov-18 09:46:03

Font panic stella I'm not going to!!

MawBroon Tue 20-Nov-18 10:14:29

I/we have always gone down the road of a cheque to the friend’s favourite charity, usually from our Charities Aid Foundation accoun.
Marks the birthday and everybody is a winner!

J52 Tue 20-Nov-18 10:31:19

His request needs to be respected, but you could send some flowers to the couple after the event, as a thank you.

Telly Tue 20-Nov-18 13:16:55

He has been quite specific, so no presents. I would just send a thank you note and respect his wishes.

Jane10 Sat 24-Nov-18 11:46:05

Well. Epic advice fail GNers! We went to the event last night empty handed as you all insisted (some more forcefully than others) and must have been the only people who hadn't brought a present! There were mounds of them!
These days 'no presents please' clearly has another meaning! I did feel blush

SpringyChicken Sat 24-Nov-18 12:35:51

Regardless of what the others did, Jane, you did the right thing.