Trusting friends

I would say something like, "Blooming cheek that hotel has. They've charged me for a mug they claim was missing after we left. Can you believe it?" next time I saw her.

That way you are not accusing her of stealing, but if she did, she will know she has been caught.

There are a lot of mugs about.

What? No! Either speak up NOW or let it go.

Bearing in mind that you've said that you're going to chalk it up to experience, next time you go away overnight with her, I'd mention the bill the hotel sent you (keep it to one side) last time you holidayed with her and say (laughing) that you'll take an inventory every night and the morning you leave so they can't accuse you of stealing again.
Say that you were really upset to be accused of such a thing.
If she's any sort of friend and she did take the mug, she should own up but don't mention it until your next trip together.
Meanwhile, if you visit her, keep an eye out for the mug.
You don't want to be one...do you?.

I dont think it is reasonable for you to judge her or act suspicous of her next time if you are not willing to ask for her side of things!

Maybe it broke and she told a member of staff who said "dont worry about it"?

Just ask her, honestly if you are friends at all why not speak to her?

Thanks everyone.
I just can't ask her now,but I will be checking next time we go away nothing is missing from the room.
It's not the £6 it cost me it's the thought that my friend could steal. We've been friends a good many years and I won't let it damage our friendship.

But how can the Hotel "prove" you or friend has taken the mug! what proof have they none! unless they have ctv in the room which they won't have.

I once left a nice short black jacket in a hotel room in Hull.

I know I left it there but they never found it! it was there when I left the room after breakfast and I realised as I was driving home.so rang them but there was no sign of it

If you're on a very tight budget then £6 is not necessarily a trivial amount.
The evidence is circumstantial/flimsy but if your friend admired the mug it is easy to jump to the obvious conclusion.
I hate confrontation but I think I'd mention that I'd been charged for a missing mug face to face and see if she blushed, or on the phone, sound flustered.
A good friend wouldn't fall out over this.

I would mention it, albeit casually, along the lines of 'I don't remember breaking a mug, do you? the hotel have charged me for it, how odd'. If she denies all knowledge, at least you have brought it into the open, and someone else may well be responsible. I do remember someone, many years ago, stealing a towel but making sure they took it from another room, not theirs. Otherwise it is going to fester, and you are going to find yourself examining the contents of her china cupboard on your next visit.

I have noticed on recent hotel visits polite notices advising that attractive items such as decorated water bottles, mugs etc can be purchased from Reception, and- not-so polite notices warning that missing items (towels, bathrobes, cushions, lamps (!) will be charged for. Apparently people do not regard it as theft.

Her husband's traits have rubbed off on her?-
I once went on a cruise with 3 friends. After the captain's night, there were photos displayed on the stand, so that we could choose the ones we liked and order copies at the desk. I was absolutely mortified when we returned to the cabin and my friend showed me a photo she had "stolen" from the stand.
It really ruined my opinion of her....we are still friends, but that incident has left a nasty taste.

Thanks.

Ignore last post, ( stressful day )

Sorry post meant for Sleepygran ?

Notanan2, I absolutely agree with you, it’s so good to know that everyone is not on the take given the opportunity .

Sleepygran, Yes definitely tell her & make sure she pays you back . Best wishes

That may be the problem onto an asI wouldn't take a bean unless I'd paid for it,never have,and at my age never will.Its just plain wrong.Staff and hoteliers shouldn't expect things to go 'missing'
I just don't feel I can ask my friend.Ive not got the bottle.Ill chalk it up to experience and keep a watchful eye next time.

Just ask. Some people love taking "freebies" from hotels and gyms, and they are not necessarily the type of people who would see themselves as theives, or people who couldnt afford to buy their own!

I have someone like this in my family and it causes a lot of tension when I refuse to be part of it. Its the staff and the business that suffer. Its really not on. But it is quite common, ppl think if its a spa or hotel or gym its not stealing... they even say that the staff expect people to take the robes etc.. (well then Brenda, walk out with it under your arm and stop trying to stuff it in my bag, if its so "fine" and Im being so silly)

I didn't mention it and the hotel charged me £6. I did ask if a maid could have broken it but got a very curt reply.
It was a very nice hotel room!
I've just chalked it up to experience but will check in future before I leave if it's my name on the bill.

I wouldn’t mention it either. I too am amazed that the hotel are charging for it! Was it Clarice Cliff or an original Wedgwood!

I would say nothing! The price of a mug is nothing compared to keeping a good relationship with your friend.

These things happen, a lot of people take something from the hotel room, not that I'm condoning it, but you need to keep in with your friend.

Sleepygran, any update on what happened re the missing mug? Please tell us what hotel it was (private or a chain,) . Amazed that a hotel would charge for such an item unless it was Wedgewood or similar!. Hope it all turned out all right if you did mention it to you friend.

"Everyone" isn't assuming the friend took the mug. That's why I'd want to see her reaction.

Hotels lose hundreds of items each year I m amazed they charged for a mug out if interest how much ?

Yes, I agree with FarNorth, I'd ask her face to face. If she did take it then, although it was only a mug, it was theft. If she liked it so much she could have asked the hotel if she could buy it from them herself. I don't think she is much of a friend to implicate you in her underhand behaviour. The hotel had your card details and are charging you for the stolen property, this puts you in a "bad light" as far as the hotel is concerned. Pay the charge, but also write to the hotel stating that your friend took/damaged the mug and pass on her details. Why should you be blacklisted for someone else's despicable behaviour?!

I wouldn’t mention it, it is trivial compared to your friendship. It sounds like they could be trying it on, like when things from the mini bar were added to bills.

Everyone seems to be replying as if it was known this lady took the mug. Talk about assumed guilty until proved innocent. The maid could have broken it and blamed the rooms occupants, or stolen it

Just because your friend admired something it doesn't mean she would steal it, no matter what her DH may have done.

The fault lies with the hotel, fancy charging for something so trivial. If it was valuable, they shouldn't have had it in the room. Wastage should be something, unfortunate, but budgetted for.