DNR

My Dad had a DNR in place - he was very poorly; had had Type 2 Diabetes for 20 years and then got lung cancer. but he died peacefully at home. In contrast, my poor Mum didnt and had to go through weeks of them trying to keep her alive when she was, basically, on life support, until they took her off it and she spent 2 hours struggling to breathe before she died. Unfortunately, the NHS has to save a patient if they can, no matter if only for hours. Otherwise, thanks to the pro-litigation culture that we've adopted from the USA, they can be sued. Often, it's the cruellest thing to do.

Such sad stories here. A lesson for some (but not all) staff - it's the way you bring up this subject that makes all the difference.
The staff involved in my mother's Liverpool Care Pathway were extremely kind and went to great pains to involve us at all points. Given how much pain she was in it was a blessing when she slipped away.

When is a good time to be asked this? My husband was in ICU in America and due for an operation . The nurse asked me if he was DNR and I replied yes. I knew how I’ll he was and I know what he would have wanted. To me it was simply part of looking after him

DH and I had the discussion about DNR and he was adamant that he wanted one in place. His doctor visited us at home and gently broached the subject - he was quite relieved when we told him we had already discussed it. What surprised the doctor was that the form he had only required him to sign, so asked both DH and I to sign in a space under his signature.

I really do think that GP should discuss DNR with patients before they become very ill. When they are rational and can weigh up their options and maybe discuss with their family if they wish that. It is unfair to ask when a person is feeling very ill and maybe feeling pressured to agree. The option of leaving it to family to make the decision is very unfair as some may feel guilty which ever way they decide. Best we are all asked our opinion whilst we are well to make an informed choice.