Argy Bargy madness, come right in! ??

Having been a busy bunny lately, I haven’t been in the bar to do my stint at helping, so sorry.
It’s a long tale of woe, rollicking pirates,rescues at sea, giant squid, naval goings on etc etc.
Nice to see a new face allassinsane or indeed, a new ass.?
Right, draw me a pint Charleygirl5 as you are behind the bar, and I will start by checking out the cellar ( who’s down there?)

Marydoll I was so worried you would not get out of hospital alive once this lot brought their hand made goodies. We both know that hygiene is not top of their list and the ingredients are a tad iffy. Thank goodness you made it but please look after yourself, you are really not up doing to the level of cleaning that place needs

I would prefer it if you and soop did not visit for the foreseeable future.

I’ll sign up for cleaning duties but I’m not so much as lifting a mop till I’ve had several pints of whatever’s on offer. Get a move on someone, I’m thirsty.

Come on in allass. You tuck into those sausage rolls as much as you like (psst. meno were those the ones you were supposed to throw out after Christmas?). Hope you’ve got good teeth allass. I expect you’ll need them. Ok then pints all round... but wash up after. We want the place ship shape for the Admiral and marydoll (just push all the dust under that old rug) Oops sorry lemon. What you doin down there?

I was wondering around and saw this flickering light down an alley. Is this the infamous Argy? If so I'll have a pint of your best Old Rosy Cheeks ta very much! And yer sausage rolls look very tempting with the black pepper grit lovingly sprinkled on them.

Pint of poteen with a creme de menthe chaser please

Hello meno nice to see you. It’s a bit quiet in the Argy tonight. Fancy a pint? Creme de Menthe or poteen whatever takes your fancy.

Marydoll please sign in for cleaning duties

Save your money and wrap a couple of ferrets around your shoulders Lemon, drug them with some creme de menthe and they will stay still for you, most impressive

Hope marydoll can come back soon. I miss her. She added a touch of class to the Argy ..... is it class I mean ?

I think you’d be better off sticking with the faux fur underwear you have on at the moment lemon ...............oh!...............it’s not underwear....it’s a ferret! ?

Just back from a sea trip with the Admiral, think I need another holiday to recover
A pint of creme de menthe please with a cherry on the top and some of Chewy’s peanut brittle ( oh! It’s meant to be fudge?)
I have a real dilemma.......do I buy a faux fur jacket or a silver
Mini dress, I can’t afford both( shame) which is more classy, help me out!

Welcome home marydoll ( the Argy is your home, after all.)?
Have a pint of Old Dark Goblin’s Underpants, it will set you up for the day, and Meno has some nice hot stew on the go ( you will ‘go’ for days after that btw!)?
You have missed some right old ding dongs ( there are a few unsavoury customers about these days) and some fab meals I conjured up.Are you up for karaoke yet?

Thanks Lemon, we have had a very good time but we're on our way home tonight so I'll pop in to check that Marydoll is behaving herself with all those men resting quietly. Pop a drink on the bar ready for me please.

??

You'll find most of them in the cellar Doodle, I've been keeping them warm for Marydoll s return.

Great news. marydoll is back. She’s recovering in the kitchen with soop but we need to make a nice quiet place for her to sit in the Argy. lemon you’re in charge of beverages. Something nice and healthy please to get marydoll back on her feet again.
meno will you help me round up the boys to make a comfy spot for marydoll to recline where she can rest her eyes (keep an eye on the boys) and not get over excited (but can watch the stage show) and build up her strength again.
?

I've found some roadkill stew under the counter which I will reheat and take round to Marydoll, that'll get her digestive system started again esp if she has eaten rock cakes. I hope you all notice I have been doing some cleaning round here ready for Marydolls return, some help would be nice

Ooooh! Gran Canaria, lucky you, have a good time.
Some of us have to work though ( old as we are) and this bar doesn’t run itself!
There’s quiz night, curry night, Karaoke night, and talent night to organise every week, stocking the bar, checking the cellar, cleaning up, cooking....it never ends.
In fact I am advertising for new staff on GN, if you have two arms and at least one leg then please come forward.?

I’ll send her some of our home grown cabbages, they’ll keep her going with all that stodgy hospital food, not to mention those rock buns Lemon! I’ll have to send them, I’m off to Gran Canaria tomorrow and don’t want to waste time visiting miss my plane.

Oh count me in too lemon. Poor marydoll. Hope she gets better soon. (Don’t feel too guilty - I’ve heard she might have him secreted under her bed. Don’t tell anyone ?) What can I do. I know, I’ll make her a nice soft cushion to lie on out of this old bag - ooops sorry Day6 didn’t realise it was you . Ok then I’ll give her some of my special perfume to wear. That will cheer her up. It’s called Eu de Toilet Duck. ?

We are having a baking day tomorrow here in the kitchen, so we can take a basket of goodies to Marydoll in hospital as she doesn’t like the food there.
I will make my trademark rock buns, what can you all offer?
I feel guilty now for saying she had gone off with that Italian waiter from Giuseppes pizza parlour..... but she has form with Italians......?

What, more than I’ve got already Lemon?

maddyone pop in here more often and you will be one of the cognocenti (we’re right cultured in ‘ere yer know.)
Big Jim should be in the cellar tapping his pipes, not lounging about in the bar! He is our cellarman, takes care of the beer casks etc ( when he and marydoll are not snogging.
Thor and Trev are our barmen, real hunks btw.Our clientele is mainly of a nautical bent ( no jokes please!)
The Admiral and The Captain are in here very day, usually drunk by lunchtime.
Have a pint of home made poteen? It will put hairs on your chest.?

Thanks Meno, now I know!