Argy Bargy madness, come right in! ??

Oh flipping heck!
I'll ask Deigo to get you out while I make you a Poteen Cocktail!
Don't swoon when you hear his sexy accent asking how such a lovely lady got into such a beeeg problemo.......

I'm locked in the loo! Again!!

Well, I've only been away for a week and just look at the state of this place. The ferrets are running amock and the barrels need attending to. Where's Big Jim?
In fact, where is EVERYONE??????????
I'll just make a couple of Poteen Cocktails for me and Diego, our latest Argy acquisition.
I found him in Tenerife and knew you'd appreciate his Bar Skills and his swarthy good looks.

Where are you all? Menopaws Chewbacca Doodle
Marydoll Charleygirl5 BradfordLass72 Day6
MawBroon ....shouts into cellar.

Surely you can’t all be doing.....gulp! Dry January!?

Too true dear Soop .I think I may have the wee foibles at the moment, I keep dashing to the loo and my meds haven’t kicked in yet.?
Not allowed a drop of alcohol either, woe is me!
Have bought myself a new sequinned boob tube (Meno has scarpered) this one is gold with a pink unicorn on the front, it’s very classy, wait until Thor gets an eyeful!

lemongrove You can't trust no-one with nothin' these days.

Meno !

Charley ......yes, we are proud to think so.?
Thanks Soop for the kind offer, does the cake have any sherry in it?
The place is looking great today, all sparkly......wait a minute, it really is sparkly! My siver boob tube that a certain person stole has been torn up and scattered everywhere.
Right! That’s it!

Charleygirl Normal! lemongrove, us lot have our wee foibles. Cannot think what that word means, it just sounds clever. You lot are welcome to visit at anytime. Remember to bring cake. You can keep the poteen...the spillage behind the bar ruined the soles of my thigh-high boots.

lemongrove pop into soop's kitchen and you will get an idea of normal. I think the word normal has passed you lot by.

Eeee Bradfordlass you may be a bit ‘strong’ even for The Argy!
Time to get our act cleaned up in here, we must try and attract a normal sort of customer from now on......we need money! I’ll sort out the kitchen, the rest of you do the bar and cellar and by lunchtime we’ll have this place looking like a normal bar ( hollow laugh) and keep Marydoll away from the till.

Marydoll I was also scarred for life but I have kept on the straight and narrow, not gone totally astray as you have. I still feel I should take you under my wing and attempt to show you the error of your ways.

At least not being pregnant has saved the country a fortune in benefits and heaven knows what else. Where would you have been housed? It is too cold to live in a marquee in winter.

I'm in Doodle as long as you approve of this tight fitting leather bustier and chains - I do need the chains don't I?

The new flip-me heels are big high so I'll practice walking all over a few balloons before I get to the punters.

Anyone got a copy of 'Kinky Boots'?

Actually, Charleygirl, I was educated in an all girls' convent school by very STRICT nuns.
It has scarred me for life. I was too terrified to be anything other than a good girl.??, So I'm making up for the wasted years.?

Marydoll you obviously were not educated at a convent like me, or anywhere or you would not be carrying on in this fashion. The nuns would have sorted you out. I am ashamed because you, like me is a Scot- how could you! I must wean you away from those so called friends- look what you are turning into?

Charleygirl Sorrreeeeeeeee! I've turned over a new fig leaf. until the next episode.

I am so pleased that somebody so refained as myself who lives in soop's kitchen has stayed well clear of the cellar for ages. I have been scouring Poundland for cots and all sorts of baby equipment. I am none too happy to discover that Marydoll is not pregnant. I have totally wasted my time and the next one who says she is pregnant can sort it all out herself, brazen hussy.

They'd bounce back Doodle

bradfordlass . That would be a novelty in the Argy. Bridge and whist tables. What would the punters think ?

Rubber action? Super! I'd love a hand of whist...

I do find a rubber suit a damn nuisance during a hot flush

Hi meno glad you like my new outfit. I think this could be the latest rage. The cellar is now spick and span and pongs really nice (well better than it was). I quite like this new outfit and the wellies etc. I think we ought to make “rubber” night a regular thing in the cellar. Could draw quite a crowd and all we have to do is brandish a whip, get them all quivering on the floor (with excitement that is ? ) and we should be quids in. Who else is up for having a go at being the fetish queen for a night? ??‍♀️

Sod the cleaning, sanitation suits, masks and wellies sounds like a marvellous Saturday night, poteen anyone?

{grin]

No idea what is going on in that cellar but every bloke staggering out in extremely mucky rubber boots looks a bit shell-shocked!

I suspect the stench down there, plus the state of the place has finished them off. Doodleis indeed going strong AND cracking a whip, or rather a ferret collar and lead, and only Trev and Maureese are enjoying it. Big Jim is cowering in the corner quivering and the Admiral is just admiring Doodle, gaping open mouthed. Hmmm. Thor is shovelling up the sweepings and has said he will get his massive hose out later. To wash the floor, he says.

I imagine the place will be like a new pin when Doodle has finished with them. Just look what a bit of role playing can do. Those poor, deluded, desperate fools.

I think sanitation suits, masks and wellies is the way forward if we want any cleaning done in future.

? rubber action night! ?‍♀️. Oh. Well ok I think I can handle that. Open the door Day6 and let them in. I’ll soon whip them and the cellar into shape. ?