Argy Bargy madness, come right in! ??

Wow soop how lovely. Your traybake sounds delicious (?).
We’ll dish it up tonight with some poteen to wash it down with (failing that we needed a new doorstop anyway)

The old Argy will do good trade now with the sparkling clean loos and cake on the bar. All we need now are some customers. lemon fetch!!

I've been slaving over a hot oven all morning. Managed to find a bag of flour use by date year 2000. Extracted as many silver fish as I could catch. Dumped some marg into the mix and stirred like crazy. Result is a bit lumpy but nothing that a short sharp blast of heat won't improve. The result is a sort of tray bake. Not very pretty. Beggars can't be choosers. I've spinkled a generous handful of hundreds and thousands over the top. Any denture wearers - beware. Be assured it's not grit swept off the kitchen floor. As if. I am far too classy for a gritty kitchen floor.

Nice to see you two hard at work for a change (nice of you to leave me to do all the clearing up after the Halloween party lemon ?) I’m still trying to scoop up all that pumpkin mess after your mammoth carving session.
As for charley eating her dinner off the toilet seat, you know full well she won’t do that ....unless you light the candelabra and stand it on the cistern and use those paper napkins with the flowers on (you know she won’t use the toilet paper)
granygravy you’ve done a sterling job. I’ll put some drinks on the bar for you but don’t let the Admiral in tonight. He’s been for a double curry and you know what that will do to the clean lavs. ?

Well done GG you are a fine upstanding woman ( although you won’t be for long with all that booze.)
Stick to orange squash until your work is done......then you can join me in the bar for a sundowner or two.??

I am armed with rubber gloves, bucket, mop and bleach, ready to clean the toilets........I may be a while!!!!!

Line the drinks up lemon it's thirsty work.

We have been so busy here in The Argy since the GE was called, I think the customers are drowning their sorrows!
Still (rubs hands gleefully) it’s an ill wind that blows nobody any good, as they say and we are raking it in.
Thor cannot have any time off this week ( Trev vanished some time ago, some say to The Rat In Hand.)We are severely short staffed, as marydoll never returned from Italy, Buffyran off with the whelk delivery man and Big Jim jumped ship ( onto a banana boat, bound for the West Indies) I still can’t hear the song ‘Day-O’ without a tear falling.

???

Wot cleavage lemon .....can you please put those chicken fillets back in the fridge. I was going to have them for dinner tomorrow. Sigh...??????

Haha....that was just Thor in his Lurch costume! Don’t he look sexy though?
The bar is almost full.....I knew my mermaidy cleavage would bring them all in tonite, now then free pernod and absinthe on the house, cheers!

Hmm. I’ve heard all about you nymphette types! Sex mad the lot of you. Better keep your eye on the Admiral lemon although with 8 arms he can probably take care of both of you at the same time.

Well I’m still sticking to traditional mode and my broomstick is being ridden astride as is my usual position! I’m off to drum up some punters (they may not be the usual crowd, I’ve got some magic potion to draw them in). Oh here comes the first one. My he’s very tall..... I wonder why he’s got a bolt through his neck... just take care of him for me Carillion. By the way I think he’s called Mr Adams and someone called Lurch is coming in later. Must dash..byeeee???

Well I don't care what you say about Halloween Doodle, I'm coming as a water nymph nymphette

(Falling off the bar tool, swigging the latest Argy brew)
??? you'll be sorry you haven't tried the mermaid/ side-saddle broomstick position

Is Halloween a bit different where you come from lemon. I don’t quite see how you’re going to hang on to your broomstick dressed as a mermaid ?‍♀️ you’ll just slide off. As for an octopus and a fish finger !!!
I shall of course be arriving ? resplendent in my see through black dress, thigh high leather boots and my very pointed hat to bewitch all the punters and make them all buy me endless drinks ......or I’ll turn them into frogs. ?

Well, the bar is all decorated and ready for the Halloween punters, the pumpkins are lit???????the champagne on ice for the party, what are you all going to wear?
The Admiral is going to come as an octopus ( he has so many hands!) The Captain as a fishfinger, and I shall be a gorgeous mermaid.??‍♀️

Up the stepladder stripping ?....... with his tool ...(snigger)...oooh lemon you are awful ...but I like you ?

Well, that’s the paint chosen, ten different shades, ‘ shagadelic
Baby!’ As Austin Powers likes to say.
Right you lot...... get cracking, the brushes are over there, Thor is already up the stepladder stripping the wallpaper with his tool and the Admiral will keep you supplied with booze and encouraging comments.

Ah, the ‘what are you wearing thread’ ( started by the Captain)
......I told him not to do it!
I was actually wearing my loo cleaning outfit ( full rubber diving gear)with my rollers in and a hairnet, but didn’t want to over excite the old sea dog.

carillion I’ve just woken up and found that lemon’s gone out onto another thread wearing her best Argy outfit ?. If we don’t get her back soon the Admiral may go off looking for her and you know what sort of trouble he can cause when he’s allowed out. ?

Have ticked ten boxes lemon, just to make sure we get the psychedelic ambience you like.

You sure about letting the Admiral pinch acquire the paint?? Saw him loitering near the bins of that orange coloured supermarket ??? is he colour blind?!

Got my mermaid outfit ready to wear to watch you on Strictly this Saturday. Since someone said it's Halloween thought I'd go with the monster fish theme.

Finished duties clearing out the black pit store room at the back of the cellar this morning. Love the pic of you, Doodle, me and the Admiral for November's photie-shoot, he's looking very suave.

Swift half of that new cocktail please...the creamy, bluish one in the Domesto..bottle. Cute name. BTW, Doodle's still asleep on the camp bed chaise longue in the corner, shall I just leave her and lock up? ???

Fank u f th dink ledmon my tung ith fine fanks. ??????

Have been thinking of doing the old place up, have left a Dulux colour chart on the bar, tick your choices please!
I rather like the purple haze, and the Admiral has ticked battleship grey.
A half of brandy please with an espresso chaser.?

Why thank you Carillion I did look rather good, even if I say it who shouldn’t.Spent all week practising putting those leggings on, I think the hard work paid off.
Yes Doodle I named that new cocktail myself ( it takes all the fur off your tongue doesn’t it?)?

Do you really think fluorescent lime green will daw them in carillion? Coz that’s the colour he’s using at the moment and stippling it with orange gloss (apparently the two cans fell off the back of a lorry ?) You can certainly keep him as long as you like. He’s covered in paint and looks like a lizard with a rash. In the meantime I have been helping myself to a large glass of this delicious stuff on the bar. Let me see what kind of cocktail it is .......it’s called.....paint stripper....?

Ooooh! Lemon loved your arabesque last night on Strictly, you really suited the glittery tuorquaaaase ensemble with opaque leggings.

Going to C&A modes tomorrow for a similar. Can I have the Admiral for another weekend?

Thinking of a mermaid outfit, tell Doodle to keep her mits off the Admiral he'll be too busy painting the Argy whatever colour draws the punters esteemed clientele in.

lemon are you quite sure his other attributes aren’t rubber too............particularly the bendy one ?

He hasn’t!
‘Elf n safety swapped it for a rubber one.?
His other attributes are real though and very impressive.