Christmas help

Yes

Yes.

I would trade him in for a newer model.

My dear Dad had it down to a fine art.

Family legend has it that shortly after they married he shouted upstairs to Mum from the kitchen” Darling what do I do, the milk’s boiling over?”

I can hear the dulcet tones of my mother now as she shouts from the back kitchen " if you want a job doing properly, do it yourself ". She had said of my father who'd offered to do the papering down the side of the stairs while she was out shopping.
Only trouble was, dad had put it on upside down. Mum had already done the landing so he should have known how the pattern went.

I got told off for laughing.

Yes! That is a tactic employed by my exDH with any job I asked him to do. Of course I ended up doing everything, one of the reasons he is an ex!

MawBroon
At least it was only wrapping gifts Quizzer. It might have been serious help you needed. What's he like in a crisis?
My DH had to leap into action when DS was born at home. The midwife was directing him and asking him to pass things to her from her bag. He didn't know what he was looking for pulling out a catheter when she'd asked for a mucus extractor. She made do and the baby survived and he was very proud of himself, rightly so.