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Giving money to people on the street

(155 Posts)
Doodle Sat 22-Dec-18 20:58:23

DH and I make regular monthly donations to charities of our choosing. He thinks that is enough but sometimes I feel sorry for someone and drop some money in the cap of people begging or busking or just homeless. Today we came across an obviously homeless man in an underground subway living in a cardboard box. He didn't ask but I gave him some money. Latter I passed a youngish man trying to walk with a stick but with a bent leg and a bent foot slowly making his way along the high street with a cup in his hand asking for money. I gave him some too. DH says he thinks this chap was a fraud (how did he arrive in the high street if he can't walk much)
Do you give to people on the street or only donate via genuine charities?

Nonnie Mon 31-Dec-18 16:20:18

I cannot believe that anyone chooses to live on the streets unless they are ill. I had a conversation with someone at the bus stop recently who said that our local homeless man wasn't really homeless and went home at night. I didn't think she really knew and said that he must be ill to sit there day after day with only his dog for company.

When I was young I remember my parents taking in an Australian couple who were homeless for quite some time. We didn't have a lot of money or space but somehow we managed.

On the other side of the coin I was in Covent Garden with DS some years ago and a young man begged for money for food and I offered to take him to buy a sandwich. He looked at me aghast and backed off. DS thought I was naive but I would always buy food for someone who really needed it.

Where I used to live local people made and donated scarves at Christmas and hung them on railings for people to help themselves.

No, I don't often give to people on the street, it is more effective to give by standing order and claim the gift aid. I think professionals are better able to deal with this issue than me. I am not sure I am right but I think it is probably the most efficient way of giving.

Stansgran Mon 31-Dec-18 15:21:23

I don't get out much so I maybe wrong but I live in the north east and we often say that there are few rough sleepers as it's too cold. There is a shelter for them outside the city. I saw one young man in the autumn but I've not seen any recently. We had a very trusting blind lady who regularly bought the Big Issue and was horribly cheated by the seller and the seller ended up in prison . They are also back selling and I see them in other cities around the north. She recognises me ! I trust the Salvation Army.

EllanVannin Mon 31-Dec-18 13:45:36

Money always shouts loudest Vickixx as those living with " unspoilt views " are usually the ones who hold the purse strings when the word development is mentioned. They have a habit of clubbing together to make such advances impossible by purchasing certain areas of land beyond their boundaries thus blocking any sale that might be in the offing.

I think I read about an " olde worlde pub " which had been earmarked for re-development and the surrounding neighbours/patrons clubbed together to keep it as their local.

Vickixx Mon 31-Dec-18 12:34:12

Well said EllanVannin. A local farmer in our area enquired about leaving land in his will to be dedicated to social housing. It was ideal, wouldn’t interfere with views and handy for local schools etc. I was asked to sign a petition to object to it and I refused. The ‘not in my back yarders’ won and the planning committee rejected the proposal. It appears we want to do all we can to help as long as it doesn’t interfere with our own ideologies.

EllanVannin Mon 31-Dec-18 12:13:06

Homelessness should be treated at source. Why are they homeless ?
For example those on the brink of losing their homes-----help them ! Whether it be that they owe rent or mortgage, stop throwing these people out, instead, come to an arrangement of payment. It costs far less to do it this way than to evict them. Loss of a home has a knock-on effect and causes break-ups, drug and alcohol problems and finally living on the streets.
Nobody should have to be evicted !

That ghastly programme about bailiffs has to be the worst programme on TV. I watched one or two but couldn't stand to see families with small children trekking to emergency centres at night in all weathers.
Why isn't there any help when those tucked up in their offices can see that families are getting into difficulties ? The same with mortgages. People can't help losing their jobs and in this uncertain climate there should be a safety net of sorts to prepare for such eventualities.

The government could help more out of their reserves. It wouldn't cost half as much as trying to re-home these people than it would to leave them where they already are.

Training/ apprenticeship centres are badly needed to give incentives to look for work.

There's never been any foresight with any government that has been in power. Housing jobs etc for the immigrants who were invited into the country. Every resource is bursting at the seams because nobody in Parliament knew what they were doing .

I can't believe that this country is going in the direction that it is. It's quite depressing.

Vickixx Mon 31-Dec-18 11:35:08

Although it can be difficult to determine whether a homeless person begging on the streets has genuine needs, the knowledge that many of them are victims of the closure of long term psychiatric hospitals, now mostly ‘care in the community’ makes me trust my instincts. If they appear to be of this ilk,I generally keep some change in my pocket to give them. I never walk past any of them without feeling a pang of guilt for their appalling situation. Is there an answer, who knows, but one thing is for certain,the people involved with helping the homeless deserve great respect.

Emmaline Thu 27-Dec-18 12:19:33

In answer to the person who berated me about my comments awhile back .. the last time I was in the city I saw a very scruffy and dirty young man sitting begging and he had a coat laid over his legs .. just as I went past another man suddenly appeared and threw a large amount of coins into the other one's lap under this coat .. I caught a peep and was astonished to see a heap of money which he was being told what he was supposed to be doing.. it was obvious that the other guy was stealing from people and giving it to this other one to hide.
That's just one of the many times I've seen this sort of thing happen!

Mumsyface Thu 27-Dec-18 07:54:50

When I’m in the uk I keep a pound coin in my pocket, in the eu a euro. It goes to the first beggar and I see that day. Not much, but then I don’t have much myself, although clearly more than many I see on the streets.
I see beggars as giving me an opportunity to become a better person - more giving, generous and compassionate.
After nearly thirty years of watching me do this, and complaining about con artists and fraudsters, my DH has started to occeasionally give to beggars too.

Anniebach Wed 26-Dec-18 09:09:18

Does it cost £5 to play the lottery, good grief

mumofmadboys Wed 26-Dec-18 09:06:38

You talk about' so long as their rich friends pay less tax' in a derogatory way. You then say you pay £5 on the lottery in the hope of winning millions. It seems all a bit contradictory to me.

driverann Wed 26-Dec-18 08:50:14

I am sick of all the give to me give to us crowd. I don’t play £5 on the lottery to help good causes I play the lottery in the ridiculous hope of winning millions. The government is happy to let’s us mugs support everything and everyone just so long as their rich friends pay less tax. Our local hospital asking for volunteers, WHY? When private firms have been allowed to take over hospital car parks to make share holders richer. We often hear the lies that the car park money goes to patient care. It does NOT. My son works in hospital financing he tells me where the money goes.

Fennel Tue 25-Dec-18 17:12:56

Another Daily Mail reader here, no apologies. There are some good stories among the rubbish:
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6528463/Birmingham-New-St-station-transformed-dinning-hall-200-rough-sleepers-festive-meal.html

Fennel Tue 25-Dec-18 16:08:35

I agree there's a difference between those selling the Big Issue and those who are sitting on the ground wrapped in old sleeping bags, with maybe a dog for company. And those who just come up to you and ask.
A young woman with a dog once came up to me and asked for money for food for her dog. I asked her a few questions, and she wasn't homeless, just couldn't afford to feed her dog. Anyway I gave her a couple of euros and decided to look out for her.
Sure enough I saw her later coming out of Carrefour with a sack of mixed rice/pasta which they sell as cheap dogfood.

Parsley3 Tue 25-Dec-18 15:15:52

Well we are damned if we do and damned if we don’t aren’t we? I haven’t experienced what it is like to be homeless but I do know that it is my worst nightmare. Like all of us, the homeless are the result of an infinite variety of personalities, circumstances and chance. I have been lucky to have a home and a family. I am sometimes drawn to give to people in the street but I mostly support the Social Bite and the Salvation Army as they provide practical help for the people who want it. If some beggars are swindling us, I trust those charities to get the measure of them. It is heartbreaking that some people find themselves in the streets in this country.

Urmstongran Tue 25-Dec-18 08:44:22

This morning in The Telegraph:
‘THE Housing Secretary admitted he does not give money to the homeless, amid record levels of people living on the streets.
James Brokenshire said he preferred to buy the Big Issue instead, adding: “People will do things in their own way.”
“The charities I talk to say it should be up to someone’s individual choice,” he said. “Other charities will say that by giving, you will sustain someone on the street, as they’re not able to get the help they need’.

Purplepoppies Tue 25-Dec-18 07:42:05

In the city where I live there are organised gangs of beggars. It's despicable. They all come from one particular country. There was a t.v. show about them, about their lavish lifestyles in their home countries (The leaders certainly).
So there are people I definitely don't give to. One woman pretending to have one leg, turns out she sits on it! I was taken aback to see her at a bus stop, her leg miraculously grown back!!
I have offered food and hot drinks to people who and my dd has given dog food to one guy with a beautiful staffie. It's just such a dilemma isn't it. You can't dictate what people spend a 'gift' of money on, but for me I'd rather not add to their misery if they're buying drugs etc.
I think the level of homelessness in the UK right now in deplorable. One step away from workhouses......

Iam64 Mon 24-Dec-18 19:08:17

It seems clear to me that anyone with detailed knowledge of the issues surrounding homelessness remain compassionate and constructive, whereas those with no real knowledge, understanding or work experience, find it much easier to make judgements and turn away from those in need.

I worked for 40 years with vulnerable children and adults. I had first hand experience of witnessing the impact of poverty, desperation and homelessness. I've been lucky. I had an ordinary childhood and found employment I liked. I saved into a pension fund. I've faced the same kinds of ups and downs that most 'ordinary' folks face. I've never been homeless but I know people who have. I'm out. I wish everyone a peaceful Christmas.

Phoebes Mon 24-Dec-18 18:51:54

In Oxford we have several drop-in centres for the homeless and a medical centre, which all do a great job. However, the council has closed down one of the centres which provided beds. The churches have a rota to collect food and deliver it once a month and at Christmas we donate warm clothes, big bars of chocolate etc for Christmas gifts. I am in charge of the monthly collection for our church. I think that this year it has been promised that there will be enough beds made available for nobody to have to sleep on the streets.
I have one particular homeless man who always sits, with his friendly dog, on the pavement outside Sainsbury’s and I always pop in and buy some dog food and some doughnuts or something similar and we have a little chat. I think he is genuine. Would you want to spend the day sitting on the cold pavement in the depths of winter if you had a warm home to go to? We are told not to give cash, as it could be misused, but some food and/or a coffee and a chat does help.
My daughter had a friend, who was a very sweet but quiet little girl, at a nice private school and coming from a good home, who left home and went to live on the street so that she could be with her boyfriend. I think her parents were rather controlling and rejected the boyfriend, so she felt she had no option but to leave. I often wonder what happened to her. I felt sorry for her parents, as they only did what lots of other parents do who want their children to succeed at school, but her reaction was extreme. Her parents must have been frantic with worry.

mumofmadboys Mon 24-Dec-18 18:47:12

How many of us after a bad day have a glass or two of wine or a large G and T? Just saying!

Buffybee Mon 24-Dec-18 17:46:32

Did anyone see the documentary about the well known news announcer (can't remember his name) who ended up on the streets in Brighton. He was an alcoholic and just went down hill until he was sleeping on a bench.
Cant remember properly but I think someone recognised him and got him on his feet again.
Of course, he gave up the alcohol, which was the reason he ended up where he did.
He said that he couldn't believe how quickly he went from living in the big house to .... nothing!

Barmeyoldbat Mon 24-Dec-18 17:25:28

I think if I was homeless I would be begging on the streets just to get some money to give me comfort in any way be it drugs or drink. I just can't imagine how awful it must be especially at this time of year. However you give, by direct ways or to a charity just please give.

glammagran Mon 24-Dec-18 16:36:14

In Bath we used to see several men “carving” dogs made out of some kind of cement product. They were always at exactly the same stage, nearly completed. Very obviously a con.

Anja Mon 24-Dec-18 16:28:02

oldbatty unfortunately I know people like that in RL ?

Charleygirl5 Mon 24-Dec-18 16:25:01

I was at Waitrose today after 8am and the Big Issue man was there. I gave him money- I would have told him to sell the Big Issue again but he was not handing it out today- it seemed to be money only.

I would not like to be in that position.

oldbatty Mon 24-Dec-18 16:24:18

Oh you take the moral high ground old batty and do your 'holier than thou' bit - even when people have witnessed for themselves frauds taking advantage of the compassionate.

Sorry I have no idea what you are talking about. I am not holy and certainly not holier than anyone. It saddens me that anyone is on the streets. Its just plain wrong. As I said , I favour smaller charities that I know help in a very direct way. I am not in favour of giving to beggars. I did defend a woman who was selling The Big Issue when a well dressed and articulate man was berating her. I was heartened when a small gathered and told him to back off.