Advice please on caring

Has he had a needs assessment from Adult Social Services? They may be able to advise, also MacMillan and Marie Curie should be able to help you too.

Try to take care of yourself too .... xx

I can understand how it happens.
Its trying to keep control of something which is beyond your control.

Lynne59, you are so right, thats my biggest problem, because its so close to the cancer neither can be put right, for a year now I haven't left his side, last week the doctor told me exactly what you have said, telling me it will only be seconds, but I have it in my head that i have to be there in case it bursts, I really am trying to change my thoughts

newist... Your husband has got an aneurysm, and you must have been told that IF it bursts, he would have a VERY short time to live? If so, then it could happen when you're asleep/having a shower/making a drink, anything. Sorry, but it is impossible for you to be with him all the time. Have you heard of Crossroads? They are a nationwide company, who have carers to be with someone, in order for the spouse/relative to have a short break of a few hours. I worked for them some years ago, and I went to people like you and your husband every day. You have to look after yourself and be kind to yourself. You need to get your rest, or you will be unwell.

Best of luck x

I'd say that above all look after yourself on account of the emotional traumas that you'll be going through.

Just reading all your sound advice, which has been posted so quickly after I asked, has given me a lift Thank You

As I said I got a sitter so Jim was never on his own , you need a break from the tension

That is all such good advice but there is another problem, he has a massive aneurysm which cannot be repaired which makes me frightened of leaving him on his own in case it bursts

You must be worn out with it all?
Could you ask your Macmillan nurse about maybe getting some time off, for yourself?

Thanks for replying, we have a Macmillan nurse who we see for about a year now, I just feel so tired lately

Contact your closest Hospice, they will know all the help that is available in your area for both you and your spouse.

The District Nurse is a great help , they can source equipment and useful stuff , please take care of yourself as well . I found an agency who sent a sitter so I could get out , and it was a change of face for the patient , money well spent

I'd say get all the help you can, from Macmillan? , Crossroads Care, and any care agency you can. I sympathise, but you're going to need help, for yourself as well as your spouse.