It's all in the pronounciation

My daughter loved singing Christmas carols, but used to mix up the words. "Away in a manger.........'til morning is night" and "Oh Christmas Tree.......how lovely are your brown-chest" were two of our favourites. The hymn "Onward, Christian Soldiers" also made us smile, with "Christ, the Royal master leans against the phone!" (leads against the foe)

Apparently birthday cards used to come in 'envelblokes' according to DD.

I could never understand why a 'green hill' needed a city wall (not a mispronounciation) as we sang at Sunday school:
"There is a green hill far away
Without a city wall"

My DD10 did this one just last week...she had been doing her first circuits lesson in PE & told me she didn't like the Triceratops dips.

When my daughter was 3 she loved the musical Oliver. She sang lots of the words really well, but 'It's a fine life' was always 'It's a pie life'

My daughter, 6 at the time, was going to be bridesmaid at her aunts wedding. She heard us talking about the wedding mil said "When the vicar marries C........." My daughter starting crying and saying I thought she was marrying uncle ........ not the vicar

My youngest daughter is well known for her verbal mistakes. She once described her dad and I as her intermediate family and told me a friend had battered her eyelashes. Perhaps her most embarrassing was when she stood up in class aged 11 and said with utmost confidence that an octopus had eight testicles!!

Our elder daughter when aged 3y couldn’t say ‘hippopotamus’. (Quite understandably). So the soft toy one she got was a ‘hippo pomatus’. Loved it.

The 5 yr old granddaughter is convinced it's "two turtle GLOVES...and a partridge in a PANTRY" !

My son, aged about 6, came back from a school trip to the pantomime, and told me he really liked being in the applaudience.

And he asked me one Sunday if we were having brocciflower with our Sunday roast

My daughter came home from infant school and asked me what was a borra too. I asked her teacher, who looked puzzled, then remembered the line from a hymn: "...only a borrowed tomb."

My daughter was singing a Michael Jackson song.
'Hold me, like the river Jordan and I will then say to thee, you are my friend'.
Her version was 'I am a centipede, and you are my friend'.

My son always wanted to stay in Helltells. Sometimes, when my husband booked the cheapest hotel he could find, my son got his way!

At the checkout in the supermarket 33 years ago my youngest son asked me why I had put him in a tree for the wind to blow away. I quickly tried to explain to everyone listening, that he had just learned the nursery rhyme Rock a Bye Baby. Convinced some of them didn't believe me.

My younger son, then aged about 5 loved animals but for some reason refused one day, to have anything to do with our cat. When I asked him why, he said, a little tearfully, 'I don't want to be a cabbage.'
'What makes you think you'll be a cabbage if you pet Polly?' I asked.
'Because Mr Styles next door was telling you about a lady who had a stroke and now she's a cabbage.'

Another time, on a very crowded train, he picked up a discarded newspaper, read a few lines and asked loudly, 'Mummy, what's a brothel?'

The other son, with obvious disregard for the people on the London to Bournemouth coach, all of whom were eating lunch, held up his own bottle of Cherryade and reminisced, 'Do you remember when I puked in the Underground and everyone walked in my pink sick?'

Just after our daughter said her first words, she started talking about a “Mocky bar” It took a while before we realised she was talking about a motor bike! Motor bikes were mocky bars for a long time after that. Another time when she was a bit older. And we were driving along she said, “Look, there’s a flat Panda!” We looked everywhere for the poor squashed creature until we realised she had misread the letters on the back of a Fiat Panda!

elder son sang with gusto, 'Good Christian Henry Joyce' This was, in fact, the name of his best friend but son could not really understand whyHenry had had a hymn written around him and was quite jealous

Out of the mouth of babes! They are so funny! On a more sombre note - my daughter informed me that my almost-two year old GD asked her "Why?" three times yesterday. I have been warning her about the dreaded "Why?" syndrome, and it looks like it has just started to kick in! Heaven help her for the next few years!

My DS then aged 2, always asked for grumbled eggs for breakfast (scrambled). And visiting a military airfield once he pointed at the orange windsock fluttering in the breeze and said "Look, a carrot suit!"

My daughters always used to sing along to the BeeGees song "It's only worms....." (words!)

When my DGS was 2 it was his aunt's birthday. Out buying a present with DD he was excitedly chanting in the supermarket Aunty C is dirty oar Aunty C is dirty oar (Her 34th birthday)

love the helltells icanhandthemback another of my sons was "dinner shops" I would ask what he fancied for dinner and he'd tell me lets just go to a dinner shop (restaurant)

sazzle That bring back memories of a different sort of embarrassment. When my husband and I were first married, with lived in Haw House. Whenever I needed to give my address, especially in person, I always had to spell it - with a defiant look in my eye.

When my brother was small he said f instead of s. Not great when having a tantrum because he wanted some sucking sweets!

One of my brothers used to call Cocker Spaniels Spanner Cockiels. It took me many years to learn which name was correct and even now I often automatically refer to them as Spanners.

A friend's young daughter once marched into the living room and proudly announced that their new neighbours were prostitutes! After some rather awkward questions, it turned out that the neighbours, far from being "ladies of the night" were actually Protestants...