Caring for children and the older generation affects mental health

Lovely story mumofmadboys.That's how you would wish things to be, very hard work at the time, but no regrets.Unfortunately it can't be like that for everybody for a hundred and one reasons.In my own family, I'm an only child, my dad started being ill when I was only 27 with two young children, my life changed for good until he passed 43 year later aged 80.My mum is still here, with new problems everyday, but still able to look after herself. It's her strong will that enabled her to care for my dad so well and indeed it's keeping her going now.Sometimes though it's not the physical care that takes its toll, it's the never ending anxiety it causes .

I looked after my elderly parents for 4 years while working and having 5 kids. It was exhausting but so glad I did it. The children helped- they were teens / early 20's and my DH and I worked as a team. I retired and the second parent died within a month. I was exhausted but felt we did the right thing and I've no regrets.

It certainly does.I've got a few stress related illnesses to prove it! Xx

They need to stop with the studies and just talk to some everyday people who live the reality.

40 odd miles away from us

I had my mother who had severe health problems including osteoporosis,ongoing heart failure,incontinence and towards the end dementia .My daughter was 15 when dad died and my son 5 ,I worked full time in my own business and looked after our home /cooking etc .When my mother died 12 and a half years later yes I was sad,heart broken BUT it was as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.I knew there wouldn't be 2am or 5am phone calls that couldn't be ignored even though the odds were when I got to her she was fine .
Now my MIL has got to the stage where she could do with some extra help,my OH wont have her stay with us as he says he cant cope with her getting old.She's 40 odd miles away so its not so easy to jump and run when she calls .I feel so guilty that I could do it for my mum but cant for her

This is a problem that is getting worse. With the older generation living into their 90s, their carers are often in their 50s, 60s and 70s.

In the first 10 years of my retirement,I was looking after 3 elderly relatives as well as my grandchildren. That was hard, but lots of carers had young children, teens and a job. They were trying to split themselves in so many ways. It always seem to be one person, usually the woman who had the majority of the burden. I am not surprised that people buckle under the strain.

The government has discovered? Did someone get lots of dosh to work this out?

It was the same 15 years ago when I was definitely sandwiched! Lack of co-ordination and active prevarication between services certainly doesn’t help!

'Twas ever thus, as Sodapop says. I think the added stress is caused by trying to access various services and the apparent lack of co-ordination between them.

Thus it ever was. Each generation has had its stresses. I think we look for a quick fix now and that's not always possible.