Cremation or burial?

Cremation and scattered in the garden of remembrance at the crem.I currently have the ashes of both my inlaws here ,my sister in law wont scatter them and isn't happy about us doing it without her .
In my opinion that is very disrespectful MIL kept her husbands ashes so they could be scattered together ,he had been dead 17 years before she died .My husband is very patient with his sister but even he is very irritated by her .Maybe someone here can tell me if its OK to hold onto ashes instead of scattering them as the deceased had wished ,I dont want to cause an arguement but it makes me very uneasy .Maybe I should just let her keep them.My fear is they'll still be sitting in her house when she dies,we viewed a house where ashes had been left behind sitting on a mantel .I found that very sad .

💐 Pandapatch, your sons resting place sounds ideal, he is part if the nature he loved.
It's cremation for me, a simple cardboard box.

Speedy private cremation for me. All sorted with sons.

That is after they have taken all the bits that can still be used by someone else.

Burial for me- simple local wood not varnished, no fancy handles, cotton liner- or a lovely wicker coffin- in natural burial ground with one native tree planted- no flowers on polystirene boards, just a few natural flowers in season, or none if not in season. Just like the one round the corner from where we lived- and when all the plots are taken, it will be left to grow as a natural native tree forests. Cremation is really NOT ecological at all, and neither are burials with fancy woods from the amazon and silk liners, brass handles, etc. All those reefs are made of diabolical polystirene which will remain forever, uncompostable.

I realise that it's an old thread but it was nice to see posts from Phoenix, Rufus, Galen and a few other ' absent friends '.

It's a subject that I am still undecided about, I've been trying to plan my funeral for some time now, I have chosen my readings and hymns, so I really should make my mind up.

This thread was started in 2019.

That being said, I used to want a cremation, but these days I rather fancy being composted. I hope that by the time I die, this will be widely available in the UK.

M0nica

For most of my life, I have wanted to be cremated. All my family have been cremated

but

In the last couple of years, I have been thinking about burial, in a wicker coffin. Ideally in my local church graveyard or in a woodland grave.I have loved the countryside all my life, studied landscape history and the thought of becoming part of the landscape after my death is increasingly attractive.

Mind you, even if my children say they will do as I wish, once I am dead, how will I know? They may decide to cremate me and bury beneath a rosebush in the crematorium garden.

Exactly. Sadly my son died 5 years ago and he was very much into nature and we had a woodland burial in a beautiful place where you can see a harbour. I very much like the thought that energy can be neither created or destroyed and feel he is now part of the nature he loved, and that one day I will join him

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vvvq, unless the will has been left solely with a solicitor, family will usually know what it says well in advance, if anyone is an executor. We certainly knew before my DM died.

A childless aunt had prepaid and specified her simple traditional funeral, for which we were very grateful, since it saved us wondering what she would have wanted.

The ashes of both my parents are still waiting many years later* to be scattered, since they had no ‘special’ place that would be suitable, and my siblings have yet to agree on where.

*my DF’s have been waiting a lot longer than my DM’s, so when Dbro was asked not long ago whether he still had them, typically irreverent ‘little’ brother said, ‘I’ve got something that could be the scrapings from the wood burner, or it could be the old man…’
(Should add that DF would certainly have laughed!)

This resurrection of old threads to insert advertising is getting far too common on Gransnet these days.

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I’d like an old-fashioned dust-to-dust funeral service at my graveside but don’t know whether the vicar would do it because I rarely go to church.
That’s the fault of the modern services. Shaking hands with everyone is to me so impossible that I feel barred from church.
I still want God involved in my burial.

Cremation, no memorial service, no shrine or plot- Just dropped where ever -- on the slide ...

No idea really where my ancestors came from, my family name goes back a ways, at least 650 - 700 AD .. Wouldn't mind sharing the same soil with likes of them ...

I think it is usually important for friends and family to have some kind of event – ritual, memorial, life-celebration, all of those – when someone they love has died, regardless of the body's final destination

This does not have to be connected with the burial or cremation.

DH and I will have direct disposal, which means no service, straight from mortuary to crem none of the in between bits.

This does not mean there is no gathering it just means it wont be at the cremetorium.

The format is then freed up. It could be at home, in a hired hall, a restaurant, outside in nature etc.

And ALL money (if any) spent on the memorial gathering goes on things the family/friends want, not into the funeral home's pocket.

You dont need any coffin for cremation.

If you cut out the coffin so the furnace just burns you and your body bag, thats going to take less energy and create less carbon emissions

The eco burials near me ate too expensive I dont want to cost my grieving family money, and any money I have to invest or leave should be spent on them managing without me so I will have direct disposal (a cremation with no coffin, just straight from mortuary to furnace)

If I win the lottery I'll change it to the fancy forest burial thing but otherwise direct disposal for me!

I was executor for my father and he stated his wish in his will to be buried with his mother. Unfortunately he died in November just as a major snow event started that last for 5 weeks and he died several 100's of miles away. So he was cremated and his ashes were buried in his family grave the following summer when family had gathered from all corners of the globe. I had had a conversation with him before he died and he said it seemed to be the trendy thing to be cremated so he had no objection. But the wording in the will was " I wish..." not " I direct...." so the former could be disregarded by the executor and was not legally binding.

I googled the environmental effects of burial versus cremation, it seems that they balance out pretty well. It is possible to find out which crematoria have the best record of dealing with the flue gases but, don’t choose one too far away from the majority of the mourners or the exhaust emissions from their travel to the crematorium outweigh the benefits.
Personally, unless their is a very strong religious, cultural other personal feeling about burial, then cremation (or one of the new, previously mentioned methods) are better if only because we just don’t have room on the planet to bury everyone,

I want Cremation no question. My parents chose that as well. (Before me obviously.)
I am not certain what my OH wants he has seemed unsure .

Galen I bet it was the second love of his life.

My dh was cremated and his ashes scattered in Lyme bay from the yacht that was the love of his life

Good plan Alexa

Cremation bad for the environment? Limited space for burials?

Why not temporary burial then dig up the bones and put them in an ossuary?