Gransnet forums

Chat

Death Doula/Soul Midwife

(111 Posts)
kezia Fri 15-Feb-19 21:43:54

I was going to post this in the Bereavement forum but I think death and dying needs more open discussion.
So, please does anyone have any experience of using a Death Doula or a Soul Midwife, either through a hospice or hospital setting or privately? If you'd rather please contact me by pm.
I'm thinking about training in this area and I would really like to talk to anyone who has direct experience, either good or bad.

Witzend Mon 17-Oct-22 12:24:31

Farzanah

Exactly Barmeyoldbat. I didn’t see it originally so was new to me and thought it interesting.

Me too.
Even those of us who’ve been on GN for quite a while are bound to have missed posts they may well find interesting.

Farzanah Sat 15-Oct-22 20:25:43

Spammers?

Oopsadaisy1 Sat 15-Oct-22 18:49:22

Because the spammers posted on it and reopened the old thread.

Farzanah Sat 15-Oct-22 17:47:10

Exactly Barmeyoldbat. I didn’t see it originally so was new to me and thought it interesting.

Barmeyoldbat Sat 15-Oct-22 17:26:10

Does it matter, it would only be the same subject and though this is a 2019 post we have 2022 thoughts on it

icanhandthemback Sat 15-Oct-22 16:46:48

It came up on the "trending" posts which is why I posted on it. How odd!

lemsip Sat 15-Oct-22 15:53:24

Barmeyoldbat

Oh for goodness sake why close it

because the thread was posted two and a half years ago and op has moved on from FEB 2019.!

someone post their own and start again

lemsip Sat 15-Oct-22 15:51:15

why would a person want to search out a thread on this subject

'' from FEB 2019 '' instead of starting their own.

Farzanah Sat 15-Oct-22 11:51:01

Interesting idea and anything that will support families and those who are dying go through the process, which we all will eventually, seems to be a good idea.
Problem as I see, as with birth doulas, is that only those who are well off can afford the service, unless of course it is voluntary. I also think there could be a better name for it.

I have been to death cafes and they are informative and fun. Yes fun ?

Barmeyoldbat Sat 15-Oct-22 11:23:09

Oh for goodness sake why close it

Riverwalk Sat 15-Oct-22 11:13:37

By close do you mean delete? Why?

Lots of threads are resurrected confused

Fleurpepper Sat 15-Oct-22 11:11:26

It is an interesting topic, and relevant today just as much as in 2019. Why close it?

PhilipGransnet (GNHQ) Sat 15-Oct-22 11:07:06

Hello everyone, this thread was started in 2019. We suggest starting a new thread as we will close this one shortly.
GNHQ

Witzend Sat 15-Oct-22 09:22:49

I have been (I dare say wrongly) prejudiced against Macmillan ever since they sent a very brisk, no-nonsense (female) doctor to visit a friend who was all alone at the time, to tell her very briskly that she was going to die, and did she want to die at home, in hospital, or in a hospice?
Although she knew, my friend was a fighter to the end, and really did not need this.

Riverwalk Sat 15-Oct-22 09:10:23

Gonegirl

Imagine at breakfast. "See they've got the dd in today then. Who d'you reckon that's for?".

Toddlers from the local playgroup on Tuesdays, penguins on Thursdays, death doula on Saturdays.

Classic jings grin

sad

Witzend Sat 15-Oct-22 08:54:27

What does a death doula actually do? Just interested.

I know that what a widowed friend, left on her own, really valued was a brother coming to help her with the mass of paperwork, selling the car etc. (she doesn’t drive).

Shinamae Sat 15-Oct-22 08:51:45

In our care home if a family member or members aren’t available to sit with the dying person a member of staff always does they are never left alone….

netflixfan Fri 14-Oct-22 20:41:40

I heard a thing about this on radio 4 a few years ago, I think it would depend a lot on personality to match the family to the “death doula” . The name is very off putting in my view.

Barmeyoldbat Fri 14-Oct-22 20:29:02

I certainly would not have used you when my daughter was dying, she didn’t know. They moved her out of intensive care into a very small ward and she thought because they had done this she was getting better. So no we wouldn’t have used your services. Also i think it’s a time for family and they give the support to each other. Maybe if there was no one else it might be a different case, but I wouldn’t want it for myself.

Fleurpepper Fri 14-Oct-22 20:26:37

I suppose Chaplains in hospitals take over this kind of 'duty'. Do they have secular ones though? Last think I'd want is someone pushing their religion on me at that stage of all stages.

Shinamae Fri 14-Oct-22 19:58:16

MissAdventure

Certainly in care homes it would be incredibly useful for people with nobody.

I am a carer and I have never heard of this…

icanhandthemback Fri 14-Oct-22 19:53:24

MacMillan were hopeless with my DMIL when she was dying of cancer. In fact, the whole system seemed to break down for her. However, my next door neighbour had MacMillan Nurses in and they were wonderful. I think it is the luck of the draw.
When my grandad was on the Liverpool Pathway, the nurses on the ward were absolutely wonderful and supportive to me too. We had no need of a Death Doula!

GagaJo Fri 14-Oct-22 11:50:26

Luckygirl

It just seems a bit on trend to me. Round here, MacMillan nurses (who do not just deal with cancer) and the hospice at home service fulfil those roles - and very splendidly too. I assume that the same exists in other parts of the country. There is no need to pay for it.

We were talking to the doc from the hospice the other day, when she came to visit us, and she was very reassuring indeed about this as OH was saying that in the event he starts to fail he wants to be kept at home as far as possible.

MacMillan were unable or unhelpful when my mother was dying. I tried to arrange support for her, they provided nothing.

icanhandthemback Fri 14-Oct-22 11:28:32

Message withdrawn as it quotes a deleted post.

straighttalkingcounselling Fri 14-Oct-22 11:13:40

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.