Death Doula/Soul Midwife

But, if someone has had experience, good or bad, of this, would they be able to contact you by pm?

gonegirl I'm thinking that a whole family approach is the way I'd like to work. Grief affects us all in so many different ways

I've never heard of it.
Off to Google for me..

Sorry Gonegirl that made me chuckle.

Op never heard of this! Have you a link?

Hmmm.. I'm sure there is a place for a doula.
I'm wondering if there is a charge?

MissAdventure I'm only just beginning to look into it. Birth Doulas often have a private practice, I think, but I know that care homes and hospices might also be settings where Death Doulas could be useful. Early days, as I said, but I'm just putting out some feelers

Certainly in care homes it would be incredibly useful for people with nobody.

Can’t imagine explaining that job at a dinner party.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/may/04/death-doulas-helping-people-face-up-to-death
Never tried to do a link on here before, here's hoping!

Trouble is, once you've moved the death doula in, wouldn't you feel obliged to get on with it soon as?

In care homes, wouldn't a patient be actually frightened to death when they saw the resident death doula walk into their room?

Imagine at breakfast. "See they've got the dd in today then. Who d'you reckon that's for?".

Toddlers from the local playgroup on Tuesdays, penguins on Thursdays, death doula on Saturdays.

^And maybe if it was like that then people wouldn't be so afraid of talking about death?

Gonegirl what makes me think you're not taking this too seriously?

I believe some of our local hospice patients have used them and they do make a difference at end of life. Just as a midwife supports you and your family from the time you are diagnosed to the time you give birth, it is the same with the death doulas, they don't just come in for the last few hours. They are there for you to discuss your worries, and take your side if needs be when talking to your care givers. They talk through the process of dying and what your wishes are, helping prepare for it emotionally and spiritually with your family.

I think it is a fantastic service, if you can reduce the some of the fear about dying and give back an element of control to what is after all a natural process, it is possible to achieve 'a good death'.

I think its a great idea.Coming from a large Irish family who treated death as just a part of life we tend to gather and can talk about death easily to each other and to the person whose death is imminent.It does make it easier to cope with and I remember sitting with my mother a couple of hours before she died speaking about silly things from the past,doing her nails for her and getting rid of her "moustache ".It was alovely few hours even though we knew she wouldn't bethere by teatime .People could really benefit from someone who could talk them through the end of life process and sit with them in the days leading up to it.

The dying of a loved one is a very difficult time for their family and friends and, of course, for the person who is dying. Someone who supports them all with kindness, a sympathetic approach and discretion can take some of the burden from their shoulders and help in a number of ways. Many people find it almost impossible to face up to the reality of impending death – their own or that of others – and have no idea how to behave or what to say, which will always vary from one individual to another, so reassurance and comfort can be invaluable. The days when most people routinely died in the own beds surrounded by their families have long gone (although they may be returning) so few have even seen a dead body, let alone seen someone die, so they are often very frightened. A knowledgeable, understanding and empathetic support can relieve such worries to a considerable extent. Those who work in hospices have training to help with these sorts of problems and stresses both for patients and their families, so similar help at home for those who want to die there rather than in a busy hospital ward would seem a very good thing.

As the youngest of my generation in a large extended family I have seen more than my fair share of deaths, some of them painfully prolonged. I don't think I would have the strength to help others through such a time, but I do admire and respect those who offer this thoughtful dedicated and loving service.

Well I think I did that for my mother

I can see where this role would be helpful but I think the job title is a bit off putting. So many of us are afraid of reaching out to terminally ill people and their families, don't know what to say etc. It would be a relief I think to be able to share our thoughts and concerns with someone experienced in this sort of care.
Paddyann I can relate to the facial hair removal, my daughters and I have agreed to do this for each other if ever we are unable to do it ourselves.

Thanks all, your replies have been really helpful.

I am not going to name them, but I think there is a GN member who has trained as one.

Rather surprised that she hasn't posted on this thread.

To a certain degree it is what Macmillan nurses and hospice staff do. But there will be a need for more people to support and care for the dying and their families. Some communities still find it difficult to talk about even when death is a natural and timely one. Even harder if the person is not considered to have had their proper time to live. I am sure the hospice community have ideas about an end of life doula

If ever anyone tries to pluck out my facial hair when I am busy dying, I will come back and haunt them in the worst possible way. Leave me and my chin alone yer buggers.