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Is it me?

(72 Posts)
Daddima Sun 17-Feb-19 19:26:06

I’ve just been looking on social media at some friends ( well, friends’ daughters actually) posting pictures of their children at a dance competition. Am I the only one who’s uncomfortable looking at wee tots of between 6 and 10 in full makeup and skimpy costumes striking provocative poses, complete with pouts and hands on hips?

jaylucy Mon 18-Feb-19 11:15:45

Fair enough make up for the stage etc as features disappear from a distance.
Some , if not all of the skimpy costumes look, quite frankly ridiculous on anyone say under 16!
Like a few of you, the "P" word comes into my mind when seeing photos of youngsters dressed and made up like this, especially when posted on social media - you might think that you are safe, but how many realise that your "friends" may have friends that you would not want seeing your pics?

lilihu Mon 18-Feb-19 11:18:33

@Toots - What a a glorious shambles. I reckon some of the audience barely made it out without hysterics.
Do you think you could map their future paths from their expressions and performances?
As you say, as it should be - wonderfully chaotic and entertaining.

Caro57 Mon 18-Feb-19 11:25:58

Agree it’s dreadful. I don’t like seeing my 3 year old DGD in mock dressing up heels

Peardrop50 Mon 18-Feb-19 11:28:49

One of our granddaughters has appeared in various stage shows. Make up needs to be heavy when lighting is inadequate. In my opinion costumes can be colourful and as 'blingy' as you like so that they can be seen but they do not need to be scanty. I think that the issue here is the after show close up photography in full make up and scanty costume, with inappropriate pouty posing appearing on social media for eternity.

inishowen Mon 18-Feb-19 11:51:30

I have to agree. My GD strikes these poses which look sexual. I hate it and can't believe her parents don't seem to notice. They let her wear skimpy clothes too and she's only seven.

Gmere64 Mon 18-Feb-19 11:57:07

Quite agree. We live in a Pedo world I’m afraid, and all that makeup and sexualisation of little tots is, nowadays, wrong.

Johno Mon 18-Feb-19 12:05:30

I agree totally. It is a gut feeling I get and usually, that means I am right.

Johno Mon 18-Feb-19 12:07:18

I think the issue is the actual displaying all over the internet. If I stared through your window at the exact same thing I would be arrested and you would see that I was arrested, so why transfer same to the whole world.

Willow10 Mon 18-Feb-19 12:24:22

To its - that was absolutely lovely! The epitome of 'Dance as if no-one is watching'!?

I was at an event a few years ago where some children were happily playing and one mother called out 'photo!' to her little girl, aged about 6. The girl immediately stood up and posed, hand on hip, full pout etc. Mum took the snap and then the child carried on playing. It turned my stomach.

Willow10 Mon 18-Feb-19 12:25:32

Sorry - Toots! Damn predictive text!

Pat1949 Mon 18-Feb-19 12:35:16

It's the posing on social media that's the problem, totally wrong. I can't understand why any mother would do it.

Tillybelle Mon 18-Feb-19 12:36:46

Daddima. Me too - very uncomfortable and saddened. The children don't understand but there are many adults (I had to work with some and did research regarding it) who think the children's behaviour behaviour implies knowledge beyond their years and the terrible older males will act on this. Therefore I think it is actually unsafe. I see it everywhere.

I do not know what we can do. Years ago I saw the friends of my own daughter in their early teens going out in skirts that showed their underpants. That horrified me. I hate to feel like an old harridan who is saying "What is the world coming to? In my day we behaved with decorum..." But it really is very frightening. I don't understand why the parents cannot see the dangers. Even the shallow and empty headed part of it to be thinking we need to be painted to look good.
Ugh!

Tillybelle Mon 18-Feb-19 12:44:49

I just thought, whenever this is raised, nobody says it is fine or that it is normal and harmless. The responses are always of outrage, fear for the children, shock and distress that it is inappropriate and carries dangers.

Very sadly one can recall that photo the parents produced of Madeleine McCann in make-up posing provocatively. At the time the enormous response was one of horrified shock. Why would the parents choose a provocative pose and make-up picture of a 4 yr old child they were adamant had been abducted and the strong suspicion was directed towards Paedophile rings as the source? The world was aghast then. Yet people go on to put these hideous pictures of their innocent children onto the public arena. Do people never learn?

redheadh Mon 18-Feb-19 13:04:04

No, with you there. Unnecessary and worrying.

nahsma Mon 18-Feb-19 13:07:00

Margs Beyond the (horrid) DATE NIGHT tshirts, I was recently in a playground with my two small GDs when I saw a lad of eight-ish wearing a tshirt emblazoned with ‘Lock Up Your Daughters’. I cannot begin to imagine how anyone, anywhere, thought that could be appropriate.

breeze Mon 18-Feb-19 13:43:37

My GD's school has a policy that parents may take footage of their children in school plays but they must not put it on social media.

I think it depends on how it is done. Theatrical costumes and makeup are necessary in the theatre. When I was a child, I used to pinch my sisters' makeup, swirl a scarf around my neck and totter up and down in high heels far too big for me impersonating a grown up. No one took any notice and I wasn't molested.

If, however, you are putting makeup on kids, dressing them provocatively, taking photos of them in suggestive poses pouting and putting it on social media, then yes, that makes me uncomfortable. And those US pageants are nauseating.

Or, as I have seen on occasion, children out and about dressed in clothing that is far too advanced for their ages. Heels, short skirts with midriff on show (they'll get a chill in their kidneys!) carrying hand bags. Plenty of time for that later on, let them remain what they are. Children.

I do still chuckle at a memory from years ago. There was a somewhat 'precocious' 'child' in my middle sons' year at primary school. In the last year she was taller than me, wore short skirts, was very pretty and if I had been her mother I would've been very worried indeed but she seemed to be very proud of the fact her daughter looked around 16. My son went to the end of school dance. He was probably around a foot or more shorter and when I went to collect him, they were slow dancing at the disco and his head was rather uncomfortably resting on her cleavage! I don't think he said much for a week. He looked so embarrassed shock

They do grow up fast these days. Let them stay kids for longer.

seadragon Mon 18-Feb-19 13:43:40

I do worry about who might be looking at these youngsters, especially as most crime dramas seem to feature child sex trafficking these days. I also struggle with the skimpy costumes adult female gymnasts and some female runners wear for similar reasons. The boys are clad in trousers for parallel bars and shorts for other events. Sometimes a thread of dental floss is not quite enough!

lovebeigecardigans1955 Mon 18-Feb-19 13:48:03

You're certainly not the only one - the sight of little girls all made up makes me feel quite queasy.

Summerstorm Mon 18-Feb-19 13:48:05

Personally think dancing classes/shows should be fun first of all, and most of my dgd have been in this category. However oldest one was in the over the top make up sexy poses etc and her dance teacher encouraged children of 3&4 to have acrylic nails done. Personally I thought it was awful. Strangest follow up though is that said dgd now has given up dance and is playing rugby. Has gone from being caked in fake tan and theatrical make up on stage to being caked in mud on a rugby pitch

Tillybelle Mon 18-Feb-19 14:00:14

seadragon. Usually I tend to be the one saying "Don't be a voice of doom" or wtte. But in this case you are right. We need to be aware that we do not know who is looking at our children and in what way they are perceiving them. We must learn from the recent past. We thought Rolf Harris was a sweet avuncular man, until the shocking news came out.

It is time to protect our children. Certainly never posting photos of them in the media, not even innocent ones. Never.

I am sorry to sound so serious. It really is a serious threat.

Nanny41 Mon 18-Feb-19 14:29:42

Dancing but definately not skimpy clothing and make up. Children are pretty without it and it doesnt improve their dancing skills.
And definately NOT put photos on phones they can get to all sorts of unsuitable places on Facebook.

sharon103 Mon 18-Feb-19 14:37:49

I agree, I hate little girls wearing make-up and skimpy clothes. Let children be children.

4allweknow Mon 18-Feb-19 14:38:03

Definitely a different need with make up and costume between theatrical and dance competition. I agree with you Daddima, just horrid. My DGD
nearly 7 yrs asked if she could have some clear nail polish on. a resounding NO WAY from me, not even on your toes. Her parents would say the same, they just think once you start allowing that you are on a very rocky path to expecting lipstick, etc.

Happysexagenarian Mon 18-Feb-19 14:42:35

I don't like it either. Dancing and performing is great fun for children, but sexy clothes, poses and make up? - NO totally unnecessary. Let them be children while they can, they'll be adults for a very long time. I also think people are far too quick to share photos and videos of their children on social media assuming that only their friends and family are viewing them.

Hm999 Mon 18-Feb-19 14:46:57

Sexualisation of young girls (under 11?) is gross, and possibly quite dangerous on several levels