What scares you?

My darling aunt has spent the last 2 years in a nursing home after a stroke which left her paralysed and speechless. She can see, hear and nod her head during ‘conversation’. She was such a vibrant lady who lived a very active life and this is heartbreaking for her and our family.

In answer to your question absent, a stroke, cancer and alzheimer’s are the three which I would actually want to make my own decision when to end my life. Being unable to make that decision is what scares me.

I hope that jane’s above information allows you some peace of mind that there is a beneficial treatment available for your condition.

Fingers crossed for you.

The poor woman.

I see no point in worrying about things I can do nothing about and do not even know whether they will happen.

I have made it perfectly clear to my children that I expect them to put me in a care home if I can no longer live independently, I am fortunate to have the capital to fund this. I have also made it very clear that they are not to stretch themselves to breaking point trying to care for me themselves. Neither of my children live less than 100 miles away, so them even thinking of caring for me in my own home is a complete non-starter.

Having seen far too much of it, dementia, and any other condition where I'm unable both to care for myself, and speak (with full mental capacity) for myself.

Hence my Health and Welfare Power of Attorney has an added section to say that in any such circs I absolutely do not want any life-prolonging treatment: palliative care only, please.

Plus, in those same circs I never want my dds to have the worry and burden of looking after me. Whatever I may say later, if and when dementia has shot my my understanding to,pieces, just find me a nice care home, thanks.

I do worry about my cats at times if I happen to wonder about " leaving " them. I've got 3 though one is what I call a free spirit who would find his way but my other two who sleep on my bed and don't move until I get up are a source of worry as I know they'd fret and be difficult to re- settle. But--------the best thing to do is to ( try ) and not think about it.

I try not to think about it. If my mind starts to dwell on it I consciously make myself think of something else as there’s nothing I can do about it.

I fear losing my ability to look after myself by becoming blind or suffering dementia. To need someone to get me in and out of bed, wash and dress me and help with the loo. I would hate that - wouldn't we all?
We can only make the best of things and try to keep the bad stuff at bay if it is within our control - and some things are just chance. Make the most of life while we're here.

Family member was told high risk of developing dementia after tests for developing memory problems.
This was over 5 years ago.
Watching their slow decline with them knowing what is happening is painful for both of us.
I would rather not know my fate.

My brother died 18 months ago after a stroke which led to gangrene and eventually sepsis.

He was only 68 and still working when it happened. He was a well known QC and made his living through the power of his speech and argument.

Seeing him in that last year barely able to speak, unable to sit up or swallow and with his thoughts in a total jumble was heartbreaking. He could communicate enough to say he wanted to die and eventually refused further treatment.

Though he had wonderful care you wouldn't put an animal through what happened to him.

That sort of thing is my dread, being helpless and unable to do anything about it.

I tend not to dwell on what might be, I have an auto immune condition which has taken me from super fit to fit for nothing in the past 10 years. I've had 3 strokes and my joints are literally falling apart and causing extreme pain. I've had a near fatal bleed into my pelvis and walk a fine line between thinning my blood and avoiding both clots and bleeds. I take each day as it comes.

I was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a couple of weeks ago and knowing my future is a nightmare but I just have to get on with it. Prior to that my biggest fear was losing my independence. ? my new fear is for my OH and the unwelcome burden I will become

I have macular degeneration but the dry variety for which there is no cure. It is becoming increasingly more difficult to read in bed at night- a particular pleasure of mine. I would love to be in a long queue for gene therapy but as there has been a trial of one that is not going to happen anytime soon.

I also worry about Tara my cat. She has found out the hard way that I cannot see her when I go to the loo during the night. I switch on the light in the bathroom but not on the way there so she now moves rapidly if in my path.

I make sure she has plenty of dry food and water in case I cannot get to the kitchen.

Izabella

Izabella ?

Izabella

Izabell

So many people going through such sad times.

Izabella❤

I share that fear Rosie, (sad)

frogs...frogs scare me

EllanVannin I too worry about my pets, I have seen advertised a keyring saying if you are in an accident you have pets at home, and also a notice to be displayed on your house window or door in case of fire, to check for pets, giving a description of type of animal. Do you have a relative, neighbour, Meals on Wheels or even some sort of agency (eg Salvation Army) who could just check on you daily in person or by phone.

I am reading a wonderful book called
‘With the End in Mind - How to Live and Die Well’ by Kathryn Mannix.
She is a palliative care consultant and has witnessed lots of death and dying.
It is very comforting, uplifting and reassuring.

Due to long-term illness , I haven’t been able to read for many years . I am a memo of audible and I wouldn’t go back to reading books , it’s a wonderful experience if you get a great narrator , it’s more of an experience than just reading .

DH going first.
I have no idea where everything is- insurances, his pensions info etc. & he will not show me.
As he is 12 years younger than I am it is a bit unlikely although I am in far better health.
I dread the day when I may have to pull everything out of the study & go through it all as he never files a thing!
He is Bi-Polar & this is one of his symptoms.

My greatest fear is something happening to my children or grandchildren.