Having a bad day.

Oh Merlot how brave you are all being. I hope you have a memorable weekend which goes easier than you are expecting.
You are in our thoughts all the time and hugs

Oh merlot. Big, big hug

Just got back from the hospital. Taking each day as they come is all we can do. Yesterday was another despairing one as we were told her liver is not functioning well enough to have a stent fitted to widen the bile duct. They are going to try and insert another drain instead. Tomorrow they are hoping to do a gastroscopy which will enable a procedure to block a nerve in her back which is causing her pain. The jaundice is still evident and now she is starting to itch.

On top of all that the palliative care doctor explained very gently that she doesn't have very long. We knew it was coming but didn't want to hear it! They then left us alone for an hour and we had a very emotional talk with lots of tears and hugs but no anger. Acceptance is hard but there is no alternative.

Today she was more cheerful but very tired. We await the results of yet another scan tomorrow.

A bit of good news is that they want her to come home for Easter weekend and are working towards that. A district nurse will visit every day to load the pain driver pump and do any other checks. We all desperately want her home but I'm a little scared of the responsibility. Not telling anyone though.

This afternoon she had the hard task of discussing her sad prognosis with the boys. Her ex husband, their father, was there to support them. Despite their acrimonious divorce he has stepped up to the mark and will be there to advise them when the time comes as although she doesn't own any property, she has some good investments.

I won't visit tomorrow if they go ahead with the gastroscopy as she will be too tired and in any case I have to prepare for the long weekend as she will have visitors and some will be driving a long way but it will be easier if she's home and much nicer for her. It will be a sad and emotional time though.

Thank you all for continuing to think of us.

Oh Merlot, I keep typing words in and deleting them as no words will do.

I wish I could give you and Mr Merlot proper big hugs and bring nourishing casseroles round. Not just virtual ones. XX.

How are you Merlot? Thinking of you xx

Merlot how desperately sad. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. ?

Merlot there is nothing any of us can say to ease the pain and suffering that you are going through. But we are all thinking of you and feel so sad that this has happened to your lovely girl.

So very sorry.

There are grans on here who have been in your heartbreaking situation. The pain is almost impossible to bear. Words don't really help, other than let you know that you and your daughter and the family are in all our thoughts. Keep your girl close and surround her with your love. One day at a time.

Just, so very very sorry.

We've not 'spoken' before, Merlot, I'm quite new to GN, but needed to add my heartfelt wish for some comfort in this dreadful, shocking time. Clearly you are much loved on GN and all your virtual friends are here, surrounding you with love, please accept a virtual hug from a stranger, and know that you and your family are uppermost in my thoughts

Thank you, that’s very kind to think of me. I don’t want to intrude on Merlots thread though, we all have sad events in our lives, it’s the price we pay for love I suppose.

So sorry to hear about your daughter, Thorntree. Be brave !!

Thorntrees that’s so sad to read. Sending you a little hug.
Please come on here whenever you feel like a sympathetic ear.

I don’t post often but have been following your post Merlot. We too have an adult daughter with a life limiting condition so my heart goes out to you. Each day is so precious as we are so aware those days are likely to be few. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers as you try as I do to stay strong for your loved ones although inside our hearts are breaking.x

Merlot,you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.Sending much love and strength to you all.xx

merlot I have no words, x

merlot - so many times you have propped me up with your kind posts when needed. And now I find I do not have the words to offer you in your hour of need. This is such a difficult moment in all your lives; but I would venture to say that your DD is clearly much loved and surrounded by those who care for her and this is the very best that any of us can hope for as our lives draw to a close.

I am holding you in my thoughts and in my heart.

merlotthinking of you so much. I lost an adult child myself a few years ago (in different circumstances).
My heartfelt sympathy to you. I wish you strength . From one mother to another

So so sorry Merlot. If there was something any of us on here could do for you know, we would. Sadly life and death are intrinsically linked and there really is nothing anyone can do. So sad for you and your family and of course your DD. I sincerely hope her passing is painless and quick. That's all any of us can really hope for love. Unbearable.....

Sending my thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

Merlotgran….Others have said it with more eloquence, but I too am thinking of you and your family at this difficult time.

My Lord - how do you do it, how do you carry on ,
on a day to day basis....our family have had one or two scares over the years but have come out of them. However, at that time. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep, couldn't clean the house, just concentrated on the problem in hand.
It may sound a bit simplistic. But where there's life, there is hope. So I would still wait and pray

merlotgran I send my love and the hope you and the family find strength and serenity is this most awful of situations.

Since I first read of your daughter's diagnosis, I have shed many tears for her, and you, and you've been in my thoughts each day....and will continue to be remembered.

With much love