What do you want ‘ professionals’ to call you?

I'd have liked that too Tweedle. During the war when I was a small girl a French officer enchantingly addressed me as "Mademoiselle".

Just as a follow-up to the ‘madam’ thing, I was in church yesterday and an American visitor called me ‘madam’. It sounded polite and respectful.

I have taken to writing my first name on those queer electronic writing pads that I am asked to sign for deliveries at the door. It's an enjoyable challenge to make a legible mark of any sort.

I got used to being called Madam when we lived abroad, just as Dh got used to being called Boss. Those are terms of respect in that particular culture. Our young Dd was called Miss or sometimes Princess.

I did draw the line at being called Mummy, though! That's another term of respect but as I already have four children, I felt really didn't want any more.

It is not what I am called, it is the tone and expression of voice used to say it. If I get that patronising 'talking to an old lady voice' I may make it very clear that it is not acceptable.

That is the problem with Madam.. it is always accompanied by that tone..

I quite like being called by my first name; it makes me feel young!!!! Mind you call centre callers don't get away with it! I'm also quite happy to be called 'Mrs' too. However I find 'love', sweetheart etc rather patronising but I appreciate that it's just a habit for some people.

I don’t understand the objection to ‘madam’. Yes, it now has some dodgy connotations but, it is only on a par with calling a man ‘sir’.

When my very prickly mother was admitted to hospital the nurse said, “Longname Longname Longname! What shall we call you?”
Mother replied,”You may call me Mrs Surname”

duly put on a board above my bed
Dottydots: Good idea, provided it's correct! Once, I was returned to my ward bed after an op. for acute pancreatitis and gall bladder removal and when I surfaced, noticed the board said "Neil O'Reilly"; Not me !; until told it actually said "Nil Orally! i.e. total starvation, for one week; standard post op. treatment! Mind you, my appetite wasn't what it used to be until fish-and-chips was back on the menu!

Bijou - a belated very Happy Birthday! You often make me smile with your words of wisdom. ???

Hear hear, Monica - spot on as usual!

It is not what I am called, it is the tone and expression of voice used to say it. If I get that patronising 'talking to an old lady voice' I may make it very clear that it is not acceptable.

From people other than friends and relatives I would expect to be called Mrs. I'm not keen on the current vogue for informality.

A nice, polite, 'Good morning/afternoon/evening'. Can I help you?' is always a good start. Or even a friendly 'Hello' instead of the more formal greetings.

I think using no form of address is usually the safest option in a shop nowadays, Phoenix, though I don't dislike 'Madam' (or Sir) to such an extent that I would even think of complaining if someone addressed me that way. I just find it outdated.

The problem is that IMO it no longer seems appropriate for a young woman.
I doubt if any us would be likely to use it to address someone that we guessed was in their twenties, or even thirties, would we? Well I certainly wouldn't, anyway.
This means that the speaker has to make a decision based on how old someone looks to them, which can open up a whole can of worms. ?

Yes, but that still doesn't answer the question as to how you should be addressed when engaging with staff in shops, restaurants etc.

address someone whose name you don't know?
Phoenix; no prob.! Pick up the stick, follow the lady and say"Excuse me I think this may be yours". Otherwise you're forcing the lady to walk back, without her stick to retrieve it! Simple really!

Yes, that would have been good! But what about how you're addressed in shops, such as the situation Charleygirl described?

Do you think it's better to use no form of address at all?

Phoenix

I would say, "Excuse me, you've left your stick", or maybe, "Ooh, don't go - you've forgotten your stick!", or something similar.

But for those who you who don't like "Madam" how DO you address someone whose name you don't know?

Yesterday at the supermarket I noticed a woman had left her walking stick in the trolley, so said "Madam, you've left your stick"

It seemed preferable to "Oi, you!

rufus. I don’t expect you are older than me. 96 today
Bijou: Belated congratulations! Awesome! You're right , that will take some beating, as well as some good genes, but clean living doesn't necessarily come into it, speaking personally of course! I expect you're still living it up!
But you deserve at least a virtual GN birthday bash; my 91st is still a vivid memory,
Good Health and Good Luck.

Wishing you a "Very Happy Birthday" Bijou and

I don't mind Danni or Mrs Rae - not fussy really!

It seems that every one of the available options is hated by some of us, so perhaps the only PC thing to do is drop the use of all personal references.

Letters should all begin with a simple 'Hello', and people in public, if they need to get our attention, should just use a loud 'Excuse me'.
It just means that 100% of people in hearing shot might turn to see if they are being addressed, instead of the 50% that might respond to a loud 'Sir', or Madam' etc.

Problem solved ?

My Mum used to say: 'You can call me owt you like, as long as you don't call me late for dinner."

Bijou belated Happy Birthday! I hope you had some ??with your ?!

nodding It’s a difficult one isn’t it?
Personally I’m happy to be called Madam and I think it’s always ok to call a man Sir.
But then it’s complicated by age. I think most young people would fall off their chairs laughing if a waiter called them Sir or Madam.
On the other hand, young people are probably quite happy to be addressed as ‘you guys’ even though many older people dislike it.
That leaves the problem of how to address a young customer in the singular.