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What do you want ‘ professionals’ to call you?

(115 Posts)
Daddima Tue 30-Apr-19 12:42:28

Following on from ‘what do you want professionals to wear?’, I remember we had new nursery teachers who said they had been taught in college that to be called by their first name was more ‘ friendly’. I disagreed, and went for Mrs/Ms.
When working in Marie Curie, I noticed that calling patients by first names was the norm, but I know that my mother and wee auntie much preferred to be addressed as ‘Mrs’.
( I don’t care, as I’m older than everybody!)

Sara65 Tue 30-Apr-19 12:56:23

I’m happy with my first name, definitely not Dear!

Charleygirl5 Tue 30-Apr-19 12:57:05

Certainly not madam- I told a manager in Waitrose not long ago I do not run a brothel- that shocked her.

Everybody and his wife, except my GP address me by my first name.

jenpax Tue 30-Apr-19 13:01:06

I like to be asked, but other than that don’t mind

kittylester Tue 30-Apr-19 13:04:03

Never, ever dear or madam! Not my full name either because it doesnt register that is me.

janeainsworth Tue 30-Apr-19 13:05:11

It depends who the professional is.
If it’s my GP or my optometrist or my dentist, all of whom I’ve known for several years, I’d like them to call me Jane.
If I had a hospital appointment and I was seeing someone for the first time, I’d prefer Mrs Ainsworth.

Occasionally when I’ve been shopping in John Lewis, the ‘partner’ has taken the trouble to remember the name on my credit card, and said “Thank you, Mrs Ainsworth,” as they’ve handed the card back, which I think is a nice touch.

Charleygirl5 Tue 30-Apr-19 13:06:04

I agree, not dear, darling or lovie.

Witzend Tue 30-Apr-19 13:07:36

Depends. At Gdcs' nursery and separate pre school, I think they do use first names, which to me is fine for very little ones.

What I really didn't like, was when various professionals would refer to my mother as 'Mum' when talking about her, over her head. Not even 'your mum' or 'your mother', let alone Mrs S. Even when her dementia was quite bad, my mother absolutely hated it.

I know many people don't mind, but to me it was just plain rude. We never called her 'mum' anyway - she thought it sounded fat!!

LullyDully Tue 30-Apr-19 13:11:35

I taught in a special school. Teachers were addressed formally, Mrs/ / Miss/ Mr, However TAs were called by their first names. I felt this was discrimination but the majority wanted no change. I was happy to be called by either name but just wanted equality.

Alexa Tue 30-Apr-19 13:15:57

Not "Dear", or "Mother". I like the Scottish "Hen" and the Northunbrian "Pet".

I used to favour titles like "Mrs", " Doctor" and so on, and I still do unless the higher ranking persons such as employers, GPs and surgeons are to be called by their first names too.

If a doctor or an employer introduces themself by their title "Ms", or "Doctor" then I prefer them to call me "Mrs--.

tanith Tue 30-Apr-19 13:37:09

I don’t care what I’m called my, Christian name as a preference but I really don’t mind.

tanith Tue 30-Apr-19 13:37:57

Don’t know why that comma appeared lol.

SueDonim Tue 30-Apr-19 13:43:05

Memsahib. grin

Ime, most professionals nowadays ask you what name you wish to be called. I generally say Sue, but if I dislike the cut of their jib, I'll say Mrs Donim.

Rufus2 Tue 30-Apr-19 13:59:40

I don’t care, as I’m older than everybody!
Sez who!? Bet you a fiver you're not! Unless you've already received your telegram! grin

FlexibleFriend Tue 30-Apr-19 14:07:15

Most use my first name but I really don't care what they call me.

aggie Tue 30-Apr-19 14:09:31

One woman told me that she called older people by their first name as they often had no one left to use their first name , I said that maybe they preferred to be addressed by their title as older ladies in particular felt they had earned it ! As a professional I always used my surname , but got very fond of a lady who referred to me as Mrs O , because she always said I started my sessions with her as Oh now come on

Maybelle Tue 30-Apr-19 15:10:15

With me it varies with the situation. More formal then Mrs Belle, but if asked happy usually for people to May.

But it really annoys me if someone asks if they can use my Christian name. I am not a Christian ! And do not presume I have that or any other religious connection.

Worst case was in Hospital, sudden admission for extreme pain, all sorted now, when the admin. Who was doing the paperwork, asked for my Christian name, I corrected her to have my first name. Then asked me for my religion, upon being told I had no religion, said "oh, I will put you down as CofE . . .
Even through the pain I couldn't let that one go uncorrected.

Harris27 Tue 30-Apr-19 15:26:19

I'm a nursery nurse in pre-school room and called by my first name which is friendly but often wonder how the children adapt in reception with more formality. One of the dads once said he found it odd that we weren't called by surname like teachers. I said I wouldn't mind that as long as I got their pay ha ha😂.

Oldandverygrey Tue 30-Apr-19 16:01:57

I like to be referred to as MrsOld, Christian name is only used by friends and family.

Sara65 Tue 30-Apr-19 16:12:42

I work a lot on the phone, I get called love, darling, sweetheart and all sorts of Things I don’t like
I don’t think they realise how old I am

Grandma70s Tue 30-Apr-19 16:23:10

The first of my two forenames isn’t the one I’m known by to friends and family, but it is generally used by doctors and other people who don’t really know me. The only person to call me Mrs plus my surname was my gardener. I rather liked it. I would prefer to be asked, but it rarely happens.

My father, in old age, was rather taken aback when nurses etc used his first name without consulting him, but he didn't say anything to them. He just laughed about it. Nobody could pronounce our surname, anyway.

BlueSky Tue 30-Apr-19 20:57:44

I agree you should be asked whether you prefer to be called Mrs X or Y, older people may not appreciate being called by their first name, which occasionally does sound condescending. Definitely not dear, love, sweetheart etc even if some people mean to be friendly or are just used to say it, they can call me madam if they must!

lemongrove Tue 30-Apr-19 21:06:10

If you are asked which name you prefer that’s fair enough IMHO.I always opt for my first name.
A friend told me a few weeks ago, that an electrician working on her house called her ‘babe’ repeatedly, as in ‘ any chance of a cuppa babe?’ Since she is 71 she said she didn’t know whether to be affronted or flattered.

Elrel Tue 30-Apr-19 21:23:11

My local health centre now refers to the GPs by their first names, Dr David, Dr Mary etc.

Chewbacca Tue 30-Apr-19 23:05:13

I prefer to be asked if it's ok to call me by my first name. What I didn't like was when I phoned my mobile phone company and a young man immediately referred to me by a shortened version of my first name, which nobody uses apart from family and friends. He was told! grin