Check this from Mumsnet

Isn't the whole point of books to take you to places where you may never go ? To read of distant lands and cultures , to experience scenarios you may never be exposed to in real life?

I have to disagree with SparklyGrandma , I think there is a place for princes who sweep you off your feet and kissing frogs, and talking animals and all that fantasy stuff.

As long as its balanced by what is real and what is acceptable in real life. There is a place and time to learn about mans inhumanity to man.

The world would be a poorer place if the only things in books were non fiction.

Nanaandgrampy I totally agree with everything in your post

Good grief, I was raised on fairy tales and certainly never got any wrong ideas about consent! I recognized that these were "fairy tales" - stories about a world that behaved differently from the normal, everyday world.

As an adult, I still enjoy reading re-tellings of fairy tales. Many authors have created delightful "new" versions of classic stories, including some for young adults and adults.

From what I have read, it is suspected that many of the "monsters" described in fairy tales may have been real people. The acts that they committed really happened. It was just that the actions were seen as so monstrous that they must have been committed by something that wasn't human - hence we get the "big bad wolf", etc.

lily, consent is as simple as asking for a hug. Kids need to learn as early as possible that they have the agency to say no.

My children had the right to say no hugs and kisses to us as parents. They had the same agency to say no to grandparents. No one is owed a child’s affection.

They don’t need to learn sexual consent at a young age, but learning they own their body is so important

Do you know what Summer, you are entirely correct. Absolutely. I have rethought this one.

Slightly different, but what about all those much loved Enid Blyton books, completely sexist, little Anne being left behind to do the cooking, while the brave boys went to battle the baddies, my children and grandchildren have all adored them, but my granddaughters don’t relate to Anne, it’s just a different time different place

I wonder why nowadays some parents assume they are the first to undertake child rearing and also forget that they and their parents and grandparents were once children and very likely exposed to all of the classical fairy stories with no negative psychological impact.
Many parents today are robbing their children of many necessary skills and the resilience to equip them for a successful fulfilling life.

I saw that on MN - what a joyless attitude to a 5 year old, IMO. Consent! It's a fairytale, FGS - the princess could hardly give ' consent' when she was doomed to be sleeping forever unless awakened like that!

My dds - now 39 and 42 - were addicted to the likes of the Disney Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty - and still enjoy them! - and were never remotely 'indoctrinated' into expecting 'handsome princes' to rescue them. Both have degrees and good careers, and have always been very independently minded.

My dd with young children is entirely happy for them to enjoy the same films she loved so much when little. She knows they will not be 'indoctrinated' any more than she was - i.e. not in the least.

Personally I think the MN OP is bonkers, and I feel sorry for her little dd.

Grans you can not compare the world you inhabited as a child with today’s.

Challenges need to be made early. My GS at six considered that boys were the 'boss'!

I think all my granddaughters would hold opposite view Telly

I had a quick look at the thread in question, or at least the first page of comments. Just about unanimous in their view that the poster is being unreasonable and is indeed already "that parent". This one made me laugh: Will you ask school to ban tales of the old man that sneaks into your bedroom once a year, dressed in red, too OP? And later: Maybe the letter to Santa includes formal consent to enter the premises.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3574721-to-not-want-traditional-fairy-tales-used-in-DDs-class?

Anja
Grans you can not compare the world you inhabited as a child with today’s

Why?

For goodness sake, they are fairy stories not real. Let children enjoy there childhood and let their imaginations run riot.

Stop going on about steriotypes, and all the other stuff, they are childrens books just let them enjoy.

Some people have too much time on their hands and look for things to be offended by. Trust me so long as my 6 year old Grandson can read and he enjoys it I could not my care less.

I’m with you on this Witzend
If we are going to go down the route suggested, surely we have to ban All ‘storytelling ‘
So far my Grandchildren haven’t grown up wanting to identify as Tellytubbies, & haven’t wanted to identify as ‘Silver’ or The Lone Wranger OR a pretty little princess .!!

Just too add, I think most of the parents on the Mumsnet thread have been very sensible with their replies.

Should : read I haven’t

Joelsnan really? You don’t know?

No Anja
I really don't know why some people percieve that children now live in a different world to their parents or grandparents.
I think this is a damaging manufactured concept.

There have been two programmes on TV this week, one on ITV on Weds and one on C4 tonight that clearly demonstrate the impact of 'over' parenting is having on Brit children nowadays.
Much of todays perceived child empowerment is superficial.

Children are, on the whole are born blessed with senses, strengths and strategies that need to be allowed to be reinforced by experience and guidance.

If all, or even most, girls internalised the gender stereotypes to be found in fairytales how come any of us, especially in the older generations, have been generally ignoring them and pressing on forward for over 100 years?

If I identified with any fictional characters it was George in the Famous Five and Jo March in Little Women, and I have yet to meet a woman who didn't. Swallows and Amazons led to me later becoming a dinghy sailor, but as for the rest, I read, I enjoyed and moved on unshaken and unstirred. I have seen the same attitudes in both DD and DGD.

Gender stereotypes come more than anywhere from the home, talking to small girls in terms of having a 'little boyfriend', being made pretty to attract the boys and being brought up to think that the admiration and approval of peers of the opposite sex is an essential validation in life.

Monica totally agree with your post.

Gender stereotyping comes from home not from literature.

M0nica
?

joelsnan I really don't know why some people percieve that children now live in a different world to their parents or grandparents

Of course the world is radically different from the world of my childhood. Seventy plus years ago the world was recovering from another world war. Since then everything has moved apace. We have mass communication on tap, social media, email, texts and sexting, plentiful cheap (too cheap) food, rising obesity rates, worries about body image, transgender, acceptance of same sex relationship and marriages, AIDS, global travel, TV, pop culture, religious fanaticism run amok, mass shootings with assault weapons, global warming, pressure to succeed by constant testing in schools, parents who CBA’d to potty train children before the go to school, one parent families far more the norm, spiralling divorce for those who bother to marry.....I could go on and on and on...

Yes, our grandchildren live in a world very different from the one I grew up in.

I wonder why nowadays some parents assume they are the first to undertake child rearing and also forget that they and their parents and grandparents were once children and very likely exposed to all of the classical fairy stories with no negative psychological impact.

You mean the generations that brought us Jimmy Savile, Harvey Weinstein etc etc.

Past generations and society have failed girls and women.
Rape convictions are now less than 2% I believe.
So we may not be the first to parent but at least there’s people fighting to break the cycle.

However. I have nothing against fairytales being present. I just take it as an opportunity to discuss the issues and ensure I balance it out.
Luckily now Disney have started to create stronger female roles like Moana and Brave.

But Jimmy Saville and Harvey Weinstein were not typical Prince Charming figures, were they? JS was a monster, possibly made so by his rather odd mother, HW was a chancer who was in a position to trade career advancement for sexual favours. They don't equate with a kiss to the sleeping beauty from a young and attractive man who marries the girl and lives happily ever after.

If girls have enough confidence in themselves and their abilities they can tell the Harvey Weinsteins that they will take their talent elsewhere. As for JimmySaville - why was he repeatedly left alone with vulnerable girls and women? That would not have happened if I, my mother or grandmother had been responsible for them, however much he acted the concerned celebrity, and we were aware as children that not all people could be trusted. This was while reading traditional fairy stories - and also reading a whole lot of other books as well.