Success

I think most people want to be happy in life, so I guess it depends what makes you happy. For some people, having money in the bank for security, for some it's having money in the bank for bragging rights. I suspect though that the latter are not truly happy. For most people having good health makes them happy. For others, it is all about their children. Some people are happy just to wake up every day, regardless of circumstances.
So I would say success is about being happy within yourself, and that depends on what drives you.

My dad once said:

"Having respectability and having respect are two entirely different things."

How very true.

Having respect can be classed as having success - having respectability is simply having nice net curtains......

Imm6, thanks for this quote. Love it!

Thanks, ME54. I like this version of the Larkin poem.

I wonder if this is how we (parents) see things, whereas some offspring apparently see the original as more fitting to their own upbringing.

A therapist friend explained that our kids don't remember their childhood in the same way we do.

That could throw some light on some of the sad posts we see on GN.

I think it is highly unlikely that anyone is truely happy all the time.
We can be sometimes, we can be content, we can accept what life throws at us and deal with it.
I know they say money shouldnt count but i believe it does. Security brings a measure of happiness, you can enjoy the nicer things in life, jump the queue if ill health strikes, help out your AC and GC rather than worrying about them getting into debt or struggling. Surely those things would make you happy whereas if you had no money these things could become a burden and grind you down into misery.

Lots of really interesting replies ,I'm with most who think success doesn''t equal money. I would consider myself successful started a business when I was 21 without financial backing just one weeks wage and its still in business 43 years later ,its kept us in a decent lifestyle and countless numbers of employees many who became lifelong friends too.I always believed in treating people as equals not subordinates and it worked remarkably well ,many became lifelong friends and the bonus was it was never about making stacks of cash it was about doing something we loved doing and did well .

I will have had a successful life if when I die the people at my funeral speak of me with love and affection as having been a good person who they respected and tried to help others. I have never equated success with money or position as I could have earned much more but chose lower paid jobs where I felt I was making a positive difference in people's lives.x

Success: for me it is being content with one's lot, not envious of others, at peace with oneself. Until a recent legacy we were not well off, on our uppers at times, DH's mental ill-health meant he had to give up his job almost 30 years ago but we got by and both DDs have turned out well with good jobs they enjoy and lovely DHs. Both DDs and SiLs are always willing to help us. I suppose that is success too, to have turned out such lovely DDs. I have good friends too.

Money has never meant anything to me. Obviously there have been times when we have struggled financially and it's not nice. Success to me is coming through a horrible childhood, many difficulties and still being here - although slightly battered. Also having brought up a lovely, decent daughter when I could have easily descended into the mire.

Contenment along with being happy that I am me (if you see what I mean). I feel that I have been successful i achieving the sort of life I want.

“What is success? by Ralph Waldo Emerson
To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate the beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch Or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!”

I think a lot depends on the type of person you are. To some, money is the be all and end all of success and if that's what makes them happy, ok. But to me success is more about being happy with what you have. You may not have loads of money but if you're happy that's being successful to me anyway.

Although one needs enough money to get by in life,being rich does not equal success in my eyes.
Success is achieving what you set out to do,whether that is completing a jigsaw puzzle or finding a cure for cancer.
Of course,you might set out to become a millionaire and achieving that would be a success for you.However,I know which achievements would make me happier!

I am content with my quiet lifestyle, my beautiful family who always give me pleasure , and a few good friends. I have enough to live on, and if I want to I can give my grandchildren generous monetary gifts from time to time, I support many charities, and this makes me happy and content. So I like to have a bit of money in the bank and if I have extra I go on holiday, which also makes me happy. Money in the bank is important as it allows you to enjoy life.

I don't think money buys happiness, but nor do I think there is anything noble in poverty, it just grinds people down. I suppose success means being happy with what and where you are and with whom.

I'm lucky to have happy daughters who are married with lovely children and I also have a happy long marriage. But one of the things that makes me most happy is having the ability to make new friends and have fun with them. I've joined lots of clubs and groups and feel confident I can get along with most people. I'm not boasting I just feel I have nothing to prove, I just want to be accepted for who I am, which is nothing special. We're not well off but we have enough money to enjoy our life.

Sucess is seperate from wealth in my opinion.
I have chosen to work in the charity sector most of my life, and love that I feel good about what I do, and know that I make my clients lives a bit easier. I don’t earn a huge salary and never have but I am proud of my work and my qualifications (both of which I worked hard to achieve) so in that way I feel I am a success.
As others have said having large savings income and big houses may equal security but it doesn’t necessarily make you a success.
In my opinion a successful life is one where you feel that you have been happy and content more of the time than not and where you have been able to stand tall despite life’s inevitable setbacks and still remain standing.

The saying to want what you have is a good one. Are you happy and healthy nothing else matters

GG54 says it all for me. Daily awareness of total contentment and deep gratitude for same.

Success is different things to different people.

Recently, I was sent a Bucket List (it represented peoples most popular aspirations) and asked which of the long list I had achieved.

I was astonished to discover I could tick most of them. Does this mean I'm successful? Not to people for whom success means having money.
Nor to those who equate success with social position. (Although I have met and dined with many "celebrities" and politicians - NZ is a small country )

But to me, success is seeing my sons with jobs they love. The fact these jobs happen to give them a comfortable lifestyle is a bonus.

No one looking at my past and present life would see me as successful but when I look back on the horrors I and my boys have been through, just surviving has been the best success of all.

Thank you Maryeliza.
I've often wondered what the students at Hull University made of him!

This be the verse'

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

Philip Larkin

Larkin was a miserable old sod ( although sadly quite accurate)

They tuck you up, your Mum and Dad.
They read you Peter Rabbit, too.
They give you all the treats they had
And add some extra, just for you.

They were tucked up when they were small,
(Pink perfume, blue tobacco-smoke),
By those whose kiss healed any fall,
Whose laughter doubled any joke.

Man hands on happiness to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
So love your parents all you can
And have some cheerful kids yourself.

- Adrian Mitchell

To be successful in my eyes when you die you leave the world a better place for having lived. We can never really know if we have achieved that

I think you sum it up beautifully mumofmadboys . It’s not about how much money you have made or how far up the career ladder your rose. It’s about making a difference.

Of course we ourselves, will never know this but it is for future generations to judge .