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(47 Posts)
paddyann Fri 03-May-19 12:57:49

After seeing a thread where people talked about being successful and having money in the bank being one and the same thing .I wonder IS money the only sign of success nowadays or do you all have a different idea of what it means to you.

Nonnie Fri 03-May-19 13:00:05

Of course it isn't. Doing something which gives one a sense of achievement is success in my book.

Ilovecheese Fri 03-May-19 13:10:02

Interesting question. I see success as having obtained what one wanted from life, which could be all sorts of different things to different people.
An enjoyable job.
A high salary
A prestigious position either paid or unpaid.
Having money in the bank.
A happy marriage
Independent adult children.

One of the things I have done which I consider to be a success is starting my own little business.
But really mainly it is my happy marriage.

dragonfly46 Fri 03-May-19 13:13:37

No success is not gauged by how much money you have in the bank. Some of the wealthiest people are the most unhappy. I suppose it helps in taking mundane worries away but being happy with your lot I think is the greatest sign of success.

GrannyGravy13 Fri 03-May-19 13:15:47

Money in the bank cannot buy health, happiness or a loving family.

My children being successful and happy adults I count as one of my achievements.

Building a business with Mr.Gravy is another hard won "success story"

I suppose having money in the bank gives you peace of mind that when a bill comes in or something needs repairing or replacing it can be done without worrying.

kittylester Fri 03-May-19 13:25:59

I certainly think having money makes life easier and can help over come problems but having a happy life and happy healthy children count for more.

But maybe it's easy to say that from a position of financial comfort.

allsortsofbags Fri 03-May-19 13:32:13

A timely thread. I agree Nonnie doing something that gives you a sense of achievement is success in my book.

DD2 and I had a conversation not long ago about what I considered success.

She'd set herself a goal when she was a teenager (36 now) and she's may be 1 or 2 steps away from achieving her goal.

Doing the job she's aiming for will be her big success but she said as a teenager she'd never put a number to the salary she'd get. She was also able to see the successes she's had along the way that didn't involve money.

Skydiving was one success for her, having the nerve to jump.

Also doing a male dominated job in a male dominated workplace and being OK doing it. Then reading on FB that one of the workers wrote "in 43 years working here she is the best boss I've ever had"

I was able to say for me success is getting close to the goal/s we set for ourselves. It has nothing to do with goals others set for us.

I was able to say I thought I'd managed some success as I'd achieved most of my goal.

I'd never thought about the money side of getting to my goal, clearly I did need money to get there.

I have been lucky in many way, had some good jobs and done many things I'd never dreamt I would do.

Some of my best successes never involved money, they were more about "Doing Things" I never thought I'd get to do or having the nerve to do.

But for others money = success. Each to their own I guess.

Namsnanny Fri 03-May-19 13:42:53

until one has lived for a while without money, I think it’s impossible to answer this question honestly!
Good health and basic needs met, should result in a degree of contentment.

DoraMarr Fri 03-May-19 15:44:40

Having enough money is important for happiness: you don’t need a lot, but enough not to worry.

Jane10 Fri 03-May-19 16:05:57

I agree it's much more to do with achievement than money in the bank. Setting out to do something then actually doing it is so satisfying. It can be something relatively straightforward like getting to the bottom of the ironing pile to passing post grad exams or getting or creating the job of one's dreams. Its something about doing rather than just having.

janeainsworth Fri 03-May-19 16:07:49

Success in anything depends on the goal you have set for that particular parameter.
For example, if your goal is to be a consultant neurosurgeon and you end up in general practice, you haven’t been successful. If your goal all the time was general practice, you have.

Goal setting is tricky. If you set them too high, you may have programmed yourself for failure and disappointment.

But if you set them too low, you may similarly end up being disappointed if you sense that you haven’t reached your full potential.

How much money you have in the bank is only one aspect of success.

hugshelp Fri 03-May-19 16:28:57

I don't even like the idea that our life should even be measured in terms of have we been 'successful' - which leaves many feeling like failures. It's not a test where you get a certificate.
I mean of course our lives will be full of successes and failures, of happiness and sadness, of good and bad fortune, of skills we learned and those that eluded us, of people we connected with and those we didn't, of causes we helped and mistakes we made.
I think saying I am successful because I made a lot of money has a very narrow focus.

Cherrytree59 Fri 03-May-19 16:46:49

Personally I prefer successful outcomes.

Life is a roller coaster and it doesn't care how rich or successful a person is, misfortune can strike at anytime usually when you least expect it!

One persons measurement of success could be another persons failure.

E.g. He/She has
been very successful in the police force and reached the rank of Superintendent


He/She has been unsuccessful in climbing the ranks in the police force and failed to make the grade of
Chief Superintendent

sodapop Fri 03-May-19 17:17:12

I don't agree that money equates with success. I have always worked in professions which are not highly paid but I achieved a great deal for people who needed help. It gave me a sense of satisfaction but not money in the bank. I wouldn't change that if I had my life again.

EllanVannin Fri 03-May-19 17:54:40

Success is how you are as a human being, how you treat the people around you and how you make them feel. It has nothing to do with having a large bank account. To be remembered in such a way is all the success one needs.
Neither achievements or how clever or rich a person is doesn't compensate for the quality of a relationship that you have with someone be it husband partner or friends.

Words taken from the psychotherapist Esther Perel.

mumofmadboys Fri 03-May-19 18:12:13

To be successful in my eyes when you die you leave the world a better place for having lived. We can never really know if we have achieved that.

janeainsworth Fri 03-May-19 18:18:20

That's rather a tall order momb
Unless you hold high office in government, or are a truly exceptional person like Greta Thunberg or Mother Theresa, most of what happens in the world is way beyond any individual's sphere of influence.

mumofmadboys Fri 03-May-19 18:34:27

I meant in small ways Janea like many small acts of kindness. Also hopefully if you are a loving and kind parent you will help your kids to be good parents themselves and have a positive effect on future generations.

janeainsworth Fri 03-May-19 20:44:26

I totally agree about the importance of being a good parent and teaching children values etc momb and I think too that it has a ripple effect outside the immediate family, but I'm not sure that it actually makes the world a better place. That would imply that every generation has been better at parenting than the previous one.
Maybe Philip Larkin had it right with his words
[your parents]'they give you all the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you'
It does seem like that sometimes grin

GabriellaG54 Fri 03-May-19 20:51:03

Contentment = success for me. That means contentment in all spheres of my life.

Jane10 Fri 03-May-19 21:58:19

Philip Larkin said rather more than that janeainsworth!

janeainsworth Fri 03-May-19 23:05:06

I didn't want my post to get deleted jane10grin

gillybob Fri 03-May-19 23:12:55

To be successful in my eyes when you die you leave the world a better place for having lived. We can never really know if we have achieved that

I think you sum it up beautifully mumofmadboys . It’s not about how much money you have made or how far up the career ladder your rose. It’s about making a difference.

Of course we ourselves, will never know this but it is for future generations to judge .

maryeliza54 Fri 03-May-19 23:17:53

They tuck you up, your Mum and Dad.
They read you Peter Rabbit, too.
They give you all the treats they had
And add some extra, just for you.

They were tucked up when they were small,
(Pink perfume, blue tobacco-smoke),
By those whose kiss healed any fall,
Whose laughter doubled any joke.

Man hands on happiness to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
So love your parents all you can
And have some cheerful kids yourself.

- Adrian Mitchell

maryeliza54 Fri 03-May-19 23:18:44

Larkin was a miserable old sod ( although sadly quite accurate)