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I think I am in danger of becoming annoying!

(45 Posts)
Scentia Sun 19-May-19 17:30:54

My Daughter and Son in Law had their first child last week, our first Grandchild.

I am unsure of how much I need to know about what he is up to, I text them every day asking about him and this last few days they aren’t replying so quickly. I think I am getting on their nerves! How much to you ask about your Grandchildren? I don’t want to seem disinterested but I definitely don’t want to become bothersome. I am hoping I calm down a bit after a few weeks. My Husband laughs about it and says you’ll get fed up just like you did with yoga??
But in all seriousness, how much is too much?

Luckygirl Mon 20-May-19 09:22:08

It sounds as though your DD is dealing with everything very sensibly and has told you her thoughts.

And maybe your OH is right!! smile

I wouldn't fret about it if I were you.

ditzyme Mon 20-May-19 09:26:43

Why not try asking them instead of us? A frank discussion can make all the difference. My son was incapable of that and it has meant no communication for a decade and grandchildren we haven't seen.

Jaycee5 Mon 20-May-19 10:30:39

I agree with what seems to be the general consensus here that every day is too much. Just calm down a little bit and remember what having a new baby in the house was like.

4allweknow Mon 20-May-19 10:38:58

Give them space,after all what will there be to up date on with a baby so few days old- he slept, awakened, fed, wriggled a bit, moved his head. Yes all exciting things for new parents but remember he is not your child. This is from GP whose GS was due early December and I had flights booked for a week before Xmas. He arrived a few weeks early so other flights had to be booked to go for an early visit, just could not wait 3 weeks as per original plan. Both DIL and DS knew I would not be able to wait. But everyday reports think not.

crazyH Mon 20-May-19 10:54:10

Congratulations.....lots of precious times to come ❤️
Don't overdo it. My daughter lived just a few minutes drive from me and I remember her remarking in a jokey manner, that mum finds any excuse to pop in, bringing food, leaving her purse behind etc etc. She probably found it annoying at times....I tried not to visit when s.i.l. was at home, so that they had family time.
You obviously don't live near. Don't expect daily bulletins.
They are busy people. I'm sure you will be getting lots of whatsapp photos. Enjoy the new arrival....congratulations !!

Abuelana Mon 20-May-19 11:20:00

Congratulations...
My grandchild due very soon. Your post is very welcome from me as was not sure how much is too much. We live locally and have already stocked their fridge so that they have food to come home to.
My daughter and I speak or text every day so I will send my normal cheery good morning and not get to hung up if I don't get an answer. Already offering practical help if needed i.e. bung baby clothes in a bag and I´ll wash etc. Advice given yesterday on here was take one step back and that helps me think about the situation in a better way. Wishing you lots of happy times once the new parents have found their rhythm x

Starlady Mon 20-May-19 11:33:41

Congratulations on your first GC, Scentia! Of course, you're excited! I'm glad you DD talked and that all is ok. As long as she's fine w/ the daily texts, then ok, but don't expect her to respond as often as she used to - her life has changed and she's busier than she used to be, no doubt!

It sounds as if you and DD have a good relationship and that you will enjoy being a GM!

luluaugust Mon 20-May-19 11:57:42

Congratulations, I am glad you had the chat with your DD. None of us can get it right all the time so don't worry about it any more, just enjoy.

ReadyMeals Mon 20-May-19 13:58:57

I wouldn't contact daily if there are two of them, but I did with my daughter - in fact a couple of times a day - as she was a single parent with friends just coming in for a few hours and had a cesarian. So I wanted to keep checking she was still ok for at least the first 10 days or so.

LuckyFour Mon 20-May-19 14:02:51

They don't want to hear from you every day. Twice a week or on special occasions. Also tell your daughter she can phone you any time if she needs help or just for a chat. It would annoy me if anyone phoned me every day, and I don't have a new baby to look after.

Grannyknot Mon 20-May-19 14:37:14

Scentia congrats! Your husband's comment about the yoga made me laugh! It's the sort of thing my OH would say.

It will all calm down, this is early days excitement, I'm sure.

It sounds as if you and your daughter have a lovely relationship. My daughter doesn't have any children, and I text her frequently anyway (we are good friends). She will sometimes not reply, and then when she does, she will text "Sorry been so quiet, LTO". Which means "Life Took Over" grin.

Sara65 Mon 20-May-19 14:58:05

The thing with a text is she doesn’t have to reply, just nice to know you’re thinking about her

Saggi Mon 20-May-19 15:13:35

In my opinion every day is a bit excessive I think. It is an extraordinary time and you are very excited....but you’ve forgotten that new babies are extremely time consuming and tiring. They may not have any routine established yet....so let them muddle through in their own for a coupla weeks. Text perhaps in the evening twice a week. Ask about mum and dad , as well as baby , see how they are doing. Keep it light and then let them know that you are there if they need you ... even if it’s only so they can go out for a coffee or a drink. They will eventually settle down , as will you.

Theoddbird Mon 20-May-19 15:56:04

Congratulations. New born babies don't change that much from day to day at first. I am sure you don't want to know the colour of his poo or how often he is fed do you? I would think twice a week max would be ok. Just let them be a family and get used to being 3 instead of 2. Look forward to a visit but don't pressure for a time frame....

TerryM Mon 20-May-19 16:14:27

Going against the grain here.
If you are used to sending a text daily why would you stop ?
I stopped sending messages in the group chat with my son and dil as our grandson is being a bit of a bugga sleep wise
I send son comments random things most week days in his lunch time
It sounds like your daughter is more than capable of.saying Oi mum enough lol
And btw congratulations!!!! It is such an exciting time

Nanny41 Mon 20-May-19 16:45:25

Congratulations.
Dont text so often, when they have time they will text you with some lovely photos of your Grandson, it will be exciting and worth waiting for.

Sussexborn Mon 20-May-19 18:15:43

We had DS, his partner and 8 week old baby staying for a few nights at the weekend. Demand feeding seems to be the thing and is quite chaotic until it settles down. Luckily they had their first 8 hour sleeps whilst here and both seemed to benefit from it. Big adjustments all round.

Bridgeit Mon 20-May-19 18:21:01

Your husband sounds like a very wise man.
Definitely cut back, they know where you are if they need you.

NanaAnnie Mon 20-May-19 21:27:55

Perhaps your son-in-law's Mother is doing the same thing. In my experience, speaking when you're spoken to is the general rule. Anything else will just become white noise to the new parents trying to adjust and enjoy the wonderment that a new baby brings. When they need help, you'll know about it, trust me!