Gransnet forums

Chat

Positives about getting older

(126 Posts)
Jomarie Sat 25-May-19 21:51:44

Noting on another thread that the older one gets the less leg hair there is to worry about rang a bell with me and I sort of wondered what other positives are there to getting older - I know about the negatives (so many) but feel sure there are also many positives - less leg/arm/pubic hair being a starting point - over to you all - don't let me down !!! grin

Coolgran65 Mon 27-May-19 15:46:10

I am 70 and I find I still get attention of men, not in a sexual way, but friendly and helpful, chatty this morning when looking at the bedding plants. I find that wearing a friendly smile helps.

Trust me, sometimes the smile wants to hide. I retired 10 years ago and within a couple of years my existing one chronic condition was joined by COPD, then diabetes, arthritis in my feet etc etc. I use my inhaler, look after my diet and wear good quality insoles in my flat shoes.

It takes a little effort. I know that I am fortunate in still being able to get about albeit not as fast as I used to be. Last week I started walking a lap of the local park, 2,500 steps. My dh didn't want to do it so I stuck in my ear bud and set off on my own, I listen to my downloaded music selection and actually love doing it on my own at my own pace with nods and hellos to others in he park. Take a couple of sit-downs on a bench.

Positives about getting older - maybe not many as we'd like as one looks forward. We can say yes to more confidence and the like, but does that not also come down to personality.

ginny Mon 27-May-19 14:42:47

More confidence to say no when I want to
Silver hair, no more boring hair colouring.
Time to just BE.

ditzyme Mon 27-May-19 11:42:17

Kandinsky... you are wrong. We don't care what other people think any more not because they are not noticing us, with (still and always natural) red hair and my own fashion style I do get noticed, but because we have a confidence in ourselves, totally at ease with ourselves and our own sense of style. And those who count, DO care, others are irrelevant.
But yes, I will admit I miss the attention of men a little, and not having a close male friend, other than my husband. I did have a special one, but he met a new younger woman who took him abroad and away from all contact with old friends and family too.

Rufus2 Mon 27-May-19 11:01:43

what exactly is meant by 'being old'?
Franbern; Dunno! Tell you when I get there! smile Countdown has now reached 42 days until my 92nd, so not long to wait! grin Enjoy your Bank Holiday; why do they persist with that old term when they're all on-line? confused

Anniebach Mon 27-May-19 10:53:39

I have a positive, my three grandchildren and they FaceTime me,

Sara65 Mon 27-May-19 10:53:35

I’m not suggesting that with a bit of positive attitude, our lives could be transformed, I’m aware of the limitations poor health or financial problems bring

I just think it’s refreshing to hear someone getting pleasure from life despite it all, I’m not being smug, I certainly don’t think I’d be so upbeat

Kandinsky Mon 27-May-19 10:48:55

I’m 54.
Already depressed at feeling old and invisible. God knows how I’ll feel at 64.

Older people say they feel ‘liberated’ - that they don’t care what other people think anymore - that they feel comfortable in their own skin.
But for me, all that really translates to
is, you don’t care anymore because nobody’s looking at you, nobody cares.
I miss the attention of men, I miss being noticed.

Gonegirl Mon 27-May-19 10:48:06

I never did learn to drive. That's why my bike riding is so important to me.

Anniebach Mon 27-May-19 10:44:30

Yes ditzy with a car and able to leave the house my mental attitude would improve. ?

Gonegirl Mon 27-May-19 10:42:08

I think this kind of thread would be more useful if posters put their ages up with their posts.

ditzyme Mon 27-May-19 10:40:48

Anniebach, agree with last comment. Why is Franbern seen as an example to us all when she is only advocating what we all know to be true, that with a positive mental attitude life doesn't seem that bad after all, and we are lucky to be where we are, to have lived to the age we are. I am the first in my maternal family to get past 50, so having exceeded that by almost twenty years, I feel lucky indeed.

Anniebach Mon 27-May-19 10:36:08

Same for me Gonegirl , I cannot get to a gym ,if I wanted to, I have no car to visit my younger daughter or my grandchildren, I live in a house I dislike but have no choice,
I miss walking and gardening.

The positives seem to be ‘I can do what makes me happy / content ‘. Not everyone can, fact.

Not being miserable, just stating facts .

Sara65 Mon 27-May-19 10:35:26

Gonegirl, I admit I’d rather be 35 or even 55 would be nice, but Franbern gives me hope, I admire her positive attitude

Gonegirl Mon 27-May-19 10:29:41

I'm 77 and I've only felt like this for the last two and a half years.

Gonegirl Mon 27-May-19 10:28:19

I'm one of the "no positives". Thing is, everything I have always enjoyed in life, and still desperately want to carry on doing, has got so hard to do now. I love walking, gardening, bike riding, and shopping in actual shops. All are such hard going now. Exhaustion is always ready to pounce. Makes me feel cheated.

The positives in my life are still there. The "no positives" is in the actual ageing process that makes it all such hard work. Who can be glad about that?

Perhaps I'm just a classic miserable old git.

Anniebach Mon 27-May-19 10:21:26

Not an example to me sorry,

Sara65 Mon 27-May-19 10:03:09

Well said Franbern, you are an example to us all!

Franbern Mon 27-May-19 09:51:29

So sad that there are people on here saying they can find NO positives in being old. Very sad - as actually just having reached the age of 'being old' is a positive in itself.
We only have one life, and do need to live it fully at all ages. I am so sad for friends who have died and have not had the opportunity of seeing their g.children grow up.
Like many others here, I have had my own problems, a disastrous marriage, the effects still reverberating in my life, the death of my youngest child at the age of 25 years, and now some quite bad health problems.
However, I am still here, and can see my other children making good in their lives - (they had to survive several years of a pretty dysfunctional home life when they were teenagers), watch them bring up their children, and all seem happy and well.
I have a nice place in which to live, and, although I only have as income state benefit and pension credit, (along with Attendance Allowance), it is enough to live on in reasonable comfort.
Never been one for holidays - my holidays are long weekend visits to children. Do not drink or smoke, occasional luxury of theatre trip. Prefer eating at home than out. Still, at present, able to be part of my long-time hobby of gymnastics as a judge.
Surely, those who say 'No positives' are not really meaning that - hopefully not.
This thread has also reminded me how vast is the age difference in the posters, so there can be anything up to thirty plus years between us - which begs the question, what exactly is meant by 'being old'?

Franbern Mon 27-May-19 09:41:32

Nannyme - I had forgotten the wonderful feeling of not being on any Committee and being able to say, when asked to serve on one, 'Sorry, No - I have made the decision never, ever again to be a committee member on anything'. I am now just one of the 'little people'. Wonderful!!!!

Anniebach Mon 27-May-19 09:23:09

True ditzy we are where we are and acceptance is the best way to get on with it x

FarNorth Mon 27-May-19 09:21:30

cassandra264, that's a good point, right enough. smile

I've always worn what I like with not too much thought for fashion, but now feel I'd look silly in a lot of things I like, so that's a downside.

I still have a p/t job, but also have lots of time to do nothing in, which I am very good at.

I'm lucky to have no real health problems as yet, and to have sufficient money. Those things make a lot of difference to how happy one feels, getting older.

ditzyme Mon 27-May-19 09:19:00

Well, my older age isn't what I hoped for either, but it is what it is and thinking/wishing it were different ain't going to make it so. Anniebach, we just have to make the most of it, hard though it may be. Your message sounded so sad in it's brevity, I send a hug.

Anniebach Mon 27-May-19 09:14:48

Not what I had hoped for

ditzyme Mon 27-May-19 08:57:22

Being able to be me after a lifetime of being what people expected me to be, how they expected me to behave. And having no responsibilities, no financial worries, no debt like mortgage. Doing what I want, when I want. FREEDOM in other words.

Witzend Mon 27-May-19 08:48:59

Yes, Nonnie, I'm well aware of how lucky we are to have the Freedom Pass. That's why I said it was just another reason I'd never move to the country, where public transport is so often abysmal or virtually non existent.

One advantage of it, which is not often mentioned, is that it keeps a lot of cars off the road. I use mine an awful lot less since I had the FP, and I know many others the same.