You remind me of one of my friends - her husband is 15 years older than her and, since retirement, has basically been in a slump and refuses to get out of it. She's tried tears, cajoling, threats, ignoring him, etc. but all to no avail. In the end, she had counselling which made her realise that, despite her frustrations, she does love him (or rather, that she is not so unhappy as to lose him) so she came up with a plan. She got them a little dog (which doesn't need much exercise and loves lying on his lap), and she travels all over the world - either with friends (she has 2 friends who are both widowed) or to visit her family (they are scattered around 4 different countries). She is hardly ever home and I suspect "plays away" in more ways than one when she is abroad (she has hinted but I've never asked). BTW he seems fine with it - he has the company of his dog and can be at home most of the time, which is what he wants. So, my suggestion is to get yourself some counselling - someone who has no Agenda for you, but can tease things apart and work out what's really going on, and what is best for you (and put together a plan). Sometimes we really can't do it for ourselves.