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vaginal steam clean anyone?-lighthearted

(130 Posts)
petunia Tue 18-Jun-19 15:54:59

i read today that clelbs are flocking to have their vaginas steamcleaned
three things occured to me.

are staff in A+E geared up to treating internal third degree burns

how do you run the area in cold water on the burnt bits

and i wonder what the nozzle looks like

ps-dont think ill be doing this. i dont get mucky enough for a steam clean

hugshelp Mon 24-Jun-19 22:32:48

How would madam like her vagina today?
Steamed, boiled, or lightly poached?

trisher Mon 24-Jun-19 22:15:30

This thread has suddenly brought a song into my mind. I can't remember all of it just the chorus-sung with a London accent
"Down Below"
The bit that comes to me is " but the something something something has a different kind of smell
And we know it very well
Down Below"
Anybody help me out with this?

SirChenjin Mon 24-Jun-19 21:16:01

Steam vapours? wink

Glammy57 Mon 24-Jun-19 19:49:49

No more comments from me. I don’t want to be responsible for any grandmother having a fit of the vapours.

Squiffy Mon 24-Jun-19 18:52:30

servants quarters - gives Tweeny a whole new meaning!

SirChenjin Mon 24-Jun-19 18:37:39

grin grin

Glammy57 Mon 24-Jun-19 18:20:46

DaniRae - “down belows”? Do you mean the servants quarters? ?

SirChenjin Mon 24-Jun-19 17:28:57

Nice even

It’s the steam radiating from my <whispers> downstairs lady nether regions, it’s blocking the view of my keyboard

SirChenjin Mon 24-Jun-19 17:27:31

grin yes it’s very important to be noce and ladylike when you’re talking about putting herbs and steam up your fou fou

trisher Mon 24-Jun-19 17:26:37

Miriam Margoyles obviously needs a steam clean!! (I think she's hilarious!)

DanniRae Mon 24-Jun-19 17:15:44

Miriam Margoyles is my least favourite guest to be on Graham Norton - her conversation is disgusting. I'm not fond of GP but at least when she speaks of feminine matters she is ladylike - or as ladylike as you can be when you speak about steam cleaning your down belows! shock

sassenach512 Mon 24-Jun-19 16:25:18

Don't be a killjoy kittylester this has been the funniest thread for ages grin

Callistemon Mon 24-Jun-19 12:48:08

I didn't see Graham Norton, but perhaps we should ask him to invite her back - along with Miriam Margolyes! Brilliant suggestion, SirChenjin grin

Squiffy grin

kittylester Mon 24-Jun-19 12:42:12

Please, please, please stop posting on this thread!!!!!

SirChenjin Mon 24-Jun-19 12:34:15

Did anyone see her on Graham Norton? I thought the other guests were very kind to her - although perhaps that's because they were all blokes who generally have a poor grasp of the downstairs goings-on in women and probably didn't fully understand what she was wittering on about. She does seem to truly belief the guff she speaks - it would have been brilliant if someone like Miriam Margolyes had been on the sofa with her grin.

Squiffy Mon 24-Jun-19 12:27:13

Perhaps it should be renamed Bex Bristle? wink

SDuncan Mon 24-Jun-19 06:47:36

Newnanny Sue
Have never posted before but this has really made me chuckle when I wasn't in a very chuckling mood so thanks everyone + keep it up ! Lol .

merlotgran Fri 21-Jun-19 22:06:10

Never heard it called that before. grin

merlotgran Fri 21-Jun-19 22:05:34

Gwynnie is on Graham Norton tonight. Apparently she'll be encouraging us to 'nourish the inner aspect.' hmm

Glammy57 Fri 21-Jun-19 18:08:26

Bex Bissell sounds right for me! ?

Menopaws Thu 20-Jun-19 21:24:31

Pennies from heaven?

lemongrove Thu 20-Jun-19 21:20:28

Is that where all our loose change goes? grin

Menopaws Thu 20-Jun-19 21:18:44

What about the attachment for going under the sofa cushions? I might find a small fortune up there.

bikergran Thu 20-Jun-19 19:45:19

I am just wondering?

Whilst lying there awaiting the "procedure"

Would one get a choice?

Dyson (more suction)!
Bex bissell (rotating brush heads)!
Morphy Richards (removes Pet hair)!
Vax (wet & dry)!
etc etc

Greyjoy1953 Thu 20-Jun-19 15:18:06

This thread had me belly laughing - such funny replies. I agree with all and most importantly agree that GP is away with the fairies. Too much money and too much time on her hands, she needs to stop focusing on herself and look after her family.