dancing queen

A few years ago I was in monsoon with one of my daughters who was older and buying a dress for another occasion.

I was stood around waiting, chatting to a woman who was buying her daughter a prom dress. This poor girl must have tried on every dress in the shop, she was slightly plump, awkward, none of them fit her properly, but her mum gushed over every one, she was clearly extremely uncomfortable about the whole thing, I bet if someone had told her the prom had been cancelled, she’d have heaved a massive sigh of relief !

My dd never went to her prom because i refused to spend so much money on a dress for 3 hours i allocated 200 the dress she wanted was a lot more its ridiculous that we are put under that pressure . What happened to the school leavers disco

When I last taught Year 11s their minds were far more focussed on their school Prom than on their English Language GSCE, particularly the girls.

We had a school dance to end the year in Wales. I had a beautiful lemon dress made by my dressmaker Auntie. But I had to wear my white socks with my tiny heels cream shoes. The other girls looked so glamorous BUT the school heart throb (bit like Robert Redford) chose ME to dance and invited me to the Cinema.

My daughter is 43 and my son is 39. They both had what was called a school formal. I remember spending around £60 on my daughter's dress which was black velvet with midnight blue trimmings. She looked gorgeous. My son hired a tuxedo. Imagine my annoyance when he came home minus the jacket. He said one of the girls was cold so he gave her his jacket. He couldn't quite remember who it was, so the next day we were visiting all the girls homes to find the jacket. Luckily we got it back, otherwise the hire company would have charged us a fortune.

This must be so difficult for parents who just can't come up with the goods - what a wretched situation and all for a few hours. i read some years ago of the mother of a primary age child who was leaving to go to senior school and her mother took on two cleaning jobs to pay for a fantastic dress, professional makeup (??) and a limousine for her daughter to go to the end or school disco. It cost her about £2,000 and her rationale was that her daughter needed a day to remember. I just don't get this at all - they could have gone to Disneyland Paris for a week on that kind of money - I suppose I am just a miserable old cow too!

The cost of all this is just wasteful, and unnecessary and something that's been copied from America. My own children just had a school disco when they left and that was it. When I left school we were allowed to have a non-uniform day on the last day to mark the occasion and took autograph books with us so that our favourite teachers and friends could write little comments in them as a sort of keepsake.

I can't help thinking that besides the American influence this also has class system echoes. When I was at training college many years ago Universities had summer balls and there was a lot of competition to get a boy to go with (Unis in those days being mostly male). It was a great experience going to one, but I'm pleased I wasn't just 15 or 16 (or even younger) when it happened I wouldn't have enjoyed it half as much. I was too self conscious. So the Summer Ball has become the School Prom.

Proms? In one word NAF.
Showing off, excluding some because of economics, stretching parents money for one night in a flashy, frankly NAF (that word again) show. Is this really a good example for our teenagers? What was wrong with the good old school disco? Love America but why do we have to copy them?

Going back 8 years of so. My daughter got a simple but beautiful dress from Debenhams sale - reduced from £100 to £25, matching shoes and bag brought the total spent to around £60. Obviously we were lucky to get these bargains but she did her own hair & make up - looked so lovely and no-one could have guessed just how little we had spent.

Agree Bradford Lass

When i left School everybody signed the shirt and we had a leavers disco

Its gone mad. I’m just grateful that this wasnt around when my two girls were leaving school, being a single parent it would have been so stressful as I just wouldnt have had the money. I feel for single parents, or low wage families when these type of things happen.

My DD spent a fortune for GD's prom .Its not as if its to be an annual event. Our kids soon leave the nest so why not.

Our kids soon leave the nest so why not.

Perhaps this is ^why not^:

I feel for single parents, or low wage families when these type of things happen.

It has all got out of hand.
But unless parents decide between themselves that enough is enough and this carries on, there may be dozens of "pre-loved" dresses and suits for sale in charity shops.

I’m with you on that callgirl1. We left school saying goodbye to our teachers and our friends and that was it. I dread the time my DD has to prepare for a prom for my DGD as she’s already acting like a little princess!

I must admit to being relieved that both of my boys decided not to go to theirs. Most of the boys arranged their own more suitable celebration, and left the girls to it, lol.

Thirdinline - totally agree, my year 11s were also far more interested in the prom than maths! It takes over the entire year.

End of school party only.

My two eldest the same. Youngest a "Leavers' Ball" with instructions that no expensive clothes are to be worn. Simple dresses or "best" summer clothes for girls and jacket and trousers and tie for young men, and no special transport. A very good time was had by all.

not dissimilar imo to the "buying presents for teachers" etc.
the world has gone mad.

I will join you in the miserable gits club!

Personally I finished my exams and walked away. Hated the place.

BradfordLass72. Well said!

Mymemory is not that good but I have a feeling the Leavers were asked what kind of "do" they would like at my Youngest's school. They opted for the "no-showy expensive stuff" Leavers' Party I mentioned before.

They also signed each others' shirts on the last day. It's one of the things my DD has left at my house. Among others....

We have a 'signed shirt' somewhere upstairs too, although it was signed 20 years ago!

When my grandson left sixth form,he and a group of like-minded friends had an "anti-prom" night.Instead of all the stress and expense of a prom,they dressed casually and had a great night out at a restaurant.I think they enjoyed it much more than they would have a formal,dressy evening.

It’s all rubbish American clap-trap...what was wrong with the end of school party. Call it a prom and all hell breaks loose. Don’t buy into it mums and dads.