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Things children say [smile]

(139 Posts)
BradfordLass72 Thu 11-Jul-19 04:04:04

Reminiscing with a friend.
She sent her son (7) outside to watch Dad mending the car. When he came in Mum asked, 'Did Dad say what was wrong with it?'
'Yes,' said, the wee boy, 'some cake was stuck in there.'
Puzzled, she questioned her DH later. The boy had asked if the problem was serious and Dad had answered, 'No, son, it's a piece of cake.'

One of my sons, when he needed the lavatory would say, descriptively, 'My bottom's heavy.'

What's your offspring's droll or funny saying?

mancgirl Thu 11-Jul-19 19:56:59

When my son was 3, having a chat before he went to sleep, he said, I can't speak now mummy, my eyes are going to sleep without me. A friends daughter said her hand was fizzing when she had pins and needles. Very descriptive I thought! Beetroot is still known as rootbeet after my brother named it that.

Boolya Thu 11-Jul-19 20:30:55

I have probably posted before, but my mum was mortified when I asked her if she wore a crinoline.

Lovelifedance Thu 11-Jul-19 20:38:46

my 6 year old granddaughter has told me that she lives me ever since she learnt to speak ( yes, she is totally adorable!)
. She will begin by saying
Nanny
What is it darling
I love you
I always answer, and I love you too, very much.
This day I decided to change the conversation
Nanny
What is it darling
I love you
Why do you love me
Because you give me everything I ask for.
!!!!! 😀

Urmstongran Thu 11-Jul-19 21:12:27

What a great thread Bradfordlass and thank you everyone for contributing. I’ve spent the last half hour chuckling away here - better than Comedy Gold!
🤣

Aepgirl Thu 11-Jul-19 21:17:22

Blinko, my daughter, then about 4, called a boiled egg a banging egg. Pyjamas were padabadabs. My grandson said he’d seen a man walking with a handle. We later discovered that was a walking stick.

NanaandGrampy Thu 11-Jul-19 21:34:31

At the zoo Grampy picked up Cooper aged 4 and said ‘ shall I pop you in with the Tiger?’

Cooper replied ‘ no Grampy Mummy would miss me’!

A small voice from behind said ‘ not for long’ ! Jackson does love him really lol

Wobbles Thu 11-Jul-19 21:56:40

I'm giggling reading this thread.
My DC came home from school one day and told me "We're not allowed to call people fat anymore Mummy, we have to say they are wide". He looked at me and said "You're very wide aren't you Mummy". Out the mouths of babes 😂

Deedaa Thu 11-Jul-19 22:12:03

When my ASD grandson was 6 he and his mother and brother came with me on the Gransnet outing to Chessington. At lunch time everyone was saying how very nice the food was, compared with the dried up sandwiches you sometimes get. He gazed in horror at the plates of food and said "I could have eaten dried up sandwiches"!

moggie57 Thu 11-Jul-19 22:20:28

my mum was in her small back garden .we was talking about her ashes after she died .she said put my ashes in the garden. my daughter age 5 later on said "why does nanny want her eyelashes buried in the garden"?.....

Littleannie Thu 11-Jul-19 22:24:36

Standing together in the shower after swimming, my 6 year old granddaughter looked up at me with a very serious face and said "grandma, are you a boy or a girl?"

annodomini Thu 11-Jul-19 22:36:41

DDS informed his puzzled parents that he'd just seen some 'eee-wees'. He could read the word but didn't know how to say 'ewes'.

Upwards of 70 years ago, my sister decided that the shred of peel in marmalade were called 'marmles'. We have called them by that name for all those years.

And finally - I'll stop now - my DGD was watching me intently as I massaged a surgical scar with bio oil. When I explained what I was doing, she gave me a stern look: 'Granny, oil is for cooking.'

arosebyanyothername Thu 11-Jul-19 22:54:01

Our DGD called the dining room the diamond room! We also had a “ballroom” (the utility room is off the kitchen and was used as a goal when playing indoor football with grandad) 🤣🤣

Apricity Thu 11-Jul-19 23:28:43

Recently my grandchildren were having a vigorous argument about whether wishes could come true. Worldy wise 9 year old grandson scoffed that of course they couldn't. Granddaughter aged 7 said they could and she had proof. When she was a baby she had wished for the best mummy in the world and that is what she got. Proud mum standing nearby just glowed. 😇

GreenGran78 Thu 11-Jul-19 23:39:48

Bordergirl57 your comment about the bolog and naise reminded me of when my son was fascinated by articulated lorries. One day he saw one without its trailer, and shouted, “Look! There’s an ar without its tic!”

OmaforMaya Fri 12-Jul-19 01:11:14

Not from a child ..but my 60 year old sister in law said she loved baking because it was very purathetic.....we just love her. 💕

Grandy2 Fri 12-Jul-19 02:18:47

When my daughter was about 3yrs old she was in the garden helping me water in some new plants. She went merrily round the garden watering with her little watering can and happily announced 'Mummy the flowers are all drunk now' We still love to remind her of this and it still makes us laugh, she's now30!

Triumph900 Fri 12-Jul-19 08:28:54

When my grandson was 4 , I told him we needed to buy a new watering can, after not finding a suitable one , we left the shop . He said, but Nanny we haven't bought the ....he struggled to remember what it was called then said 'the raining pot'! DH and I still laugh and have taken to adopt this new name for it . smile

NannyJan53 Fri 12-Jul-19 08:32:48

This is a great thread!

When my son was a toddler (he is now 43), we had an infestation of Earwigs, he couldn't say that so he called them wink a winks. After that every insect was a wink a wink.

When my Niece was 3, she sat by her Granddad (my Dad) patted his beer belly and said " you have eaten too many dinners"!

When she was about 5 or 6, she wanted to watch her Wizard of Oz DVD. Dad was recording something at the time, and kept explaining she would have to wait. After a few explanations he said "Emily you don't understand", she said " No Grandddad, YOU don't understand, I want to watch it Now! smile

BradfordLass72 Fri 12-Jul-19 08:48:16

My favourites so far, amongst so many wonderful and endearing posts are:

Trevor (aaw, bless her)
My eyes are going to sleep without me (exactly right too)
the raining pot (brilliant, children are so astute)
mum’s getting me a unicorn (hope she wasn't disappointed)

And the very perceptive comment: of course when you die you come back as another baby
Does he know about Prof Ian Stevenson’s research into this?

Thank you all. Don't stop now grin

Experigran Fri 12-Jul-19 09:00:12

I remember, many years ago now, my daughter who was 8 at the time asking me if I was a virgin! Hardly, darling, I have 4 children, I replied. I thought it had something to do with that, she said. I asked her why she had asked. She answered, a boy down the road asked me. I told him certainly not - and I'll never wear white socks again! She's now 43 and we still have a giggle over that.

GreenGran78 Fri 12-Jul-19 09:30:23

Experigran I remember some giggling girls at school asking me that when I was 14. It’s hard to believe, in this day and age, but I didn’t know what they meant. I was very innocent and naive, even for 1953!
I guessed that it was something smutty from their behaviour, and just walked away!

Lupin Fri 12-Jul-19 12:58:32

My elder daughter used to go to gymnastics when she was little. The younger daughter kept asking me for a jam tart and it wasn't until she went and got the leotard that I realised what she meant. They are jam tarts still.

sandybh6 Fri 12-Jul-19 13:07:55

Daughter told her 5 year old, "go to the potty now and I"ll give you a free slushie." He replied, "If I have to go to the potty, then the slushie isn't free, is it?"

Urmstongran Fri 12-Jul-19 13:58:00

A few days ago our 6y old grandson said ‘shall we play a game grandma? The one who’s on (love it) has to spell a word and then the guesser has to point to the what the word is ... and it has to be in this room okay?”

“Okay”

After a couple of goes it was his turn again.

“C - O - C - K”

“What?” (oh god, slightly embarrassed.... how to handle this?)

“Wait ... grandma - I forgot the ‘L’ “

🤣🤣

kathsue Fri 12-Jul-19 14:32:58

When my daughter was about 3 we were on a train going up to Liverpool to see her GPs. A young man across the aisle started eating his packed lunch and DD said "Look Mummy, that man's got a big one!" Everyone in the carriage turned to look. blush blush

It was actually one of the new style, larger, sausage rolls.

Grandmashe43 Fri 12-Jul-19 14:50:47

After an afternoon with dd sil and gson aged 4, I left my walking stick in their car, darling gs came running down the drive Grandma, Grandma, you’ve left your Broomstick,
Dear sil denies all knowledge, still has me falling about laughing, he’s 5 now and understands the difference.

GeorgyGirl Fri 12-Jul-19 22:07:29

Can't stop smiling and chuckling, what a tonic to read on a Friday evening.

Floradora9 Fri 12-Jul-19 22:41:26

DGDs aged 4 and 5 were fighting over a toy DGD1 said ' Well Ishould get it as I am the oldest " GD2 said in reply . ... " but I am the fourest" .
DH was telling them all about the dinosaurs and how they died out GD1 said ' but why did they dry out "

NannyC1 Sat 13-Jul-19 01:11:51

My 2 and half yr GD asked me for Cock Porn today, whilst saying to her dog No Peaches No cock porn for you! 🤔🤔 It took me a while to realise she actually meant Popcorn which was on the kitchen table.

Witzend Sat 13-Jul-19 09:19:35

Grandson of nearly 3, in the middle of potty training.
Mostly successful for wee, but a dozen times a day he'll want to sit on it before announcing, 'My wee not comin' out!' and charging off again.
Alas he hasn't sussed out the poo bit yet...

Nanny41 Sat 13-Jul-19 21:23:37

Just remembered, when my Daughter was young, she is now fifty, I remember her asking my Mum why she had so many tram lines on her face. She hasnt asked me as she would know the answer.

Littleannie Sun 14-Jul-19 10:00:43

When calculators first came out, my friend's daughter told me she wanted a complicator.

maytime2 Sun 14-Jul-19 10:09:07

I was checking to see if my gran-daughter then aged 2 had gone off to sleep. No she said my eyes are still looking.

I'm waiting for a cataract op and told her , she's now 6, "That Mam's eyes have gone". "No" she replied, "they are still there".

My daughter had a job to keep a straight face when she told her recently that the boys in the playground were using a naughty word to play a game. "What is it " asked my daughter. "Cocks and robbers" came the reply.

callgirl1 Sun 14-Jul-19 18:29:26

My 8 year old daughter, eldest of 5 children, came home from school after a sex education lesson and said "You and dad did it 5 times!"

sodapop Sun 14-Jul-19 21:50:50

This thread has really made me smile.
Love the 'cock porn ' NannyCI

BradfordLass72 Mon 15-Jul-19 08:01:46

My sister, then 5, once casually told our mother she had heard Edie, the lady next door telling another neighbour about a very old man of mutual acquaintance who had turned into a carrot because he touched a dog.
We had always been warned never, ever to touch dogs.

My mother puzzled for a long time over this before asking Edie what on earth my sister could have overheard.

Apparently Edie had told her friend that Stanley had suffered a severe stroke and would probably be a vegetable for the rest of his life.

We forget that children are just building their vocabularies and what we take so much for granted (words like 'stroke' etc.,) can sound very odd to them.

LightAmber Mon 15-Jul-19 18:46:54

Out walking today, we saw a little girl, barely knee high to a grasshopper, she was wandering around in a world of her own admiring the daisies. She wandered into my path and suddenly seeing me (I had stopped so we didn't fall over each other) and looking up she squeaked ”I’m really very sorry”

Make my heart melt.

Evie64 Tue 16-Jul-19 18:02:25

These are so much fun. They should be put in a book? There's probably ones out there already.