Things children say [smile]

Little GD in bed with me for her regular sleepover looking at my (admittedly) droopy boobs and asking ‘What are they doing down there’

Also the nativity story : ‘The baby Jesa went to London with camels and guns, but there was only one baby not two like Mummy had’ (her twin brothers)

Lovely thread, BradfordLass, thankyou so much!
DD, aged about 6, asked me in a kind voice,” Did they have horses and carriages in the olden days when you were alive Mummy?”.
My DGD said the other day that she loved my soggy old arms.

We still have a Tilly ( utility) room. My twins collectively had hang dressers for putting clothes on. Peg liners for hanging washing out. Armsleeves on dresses and in summer they liked the ones that had bunky out armsleeves.

when I was born at home in the 1940s, my big sister aged 2 and a half was told where I'd come from -, mummy's tummy and all that. The first visitors arrived to see the new baby including another small child who asked where the baby had come from.
"The doctor brought her in his bag" was my big sister's reply!

My daughter was explaining to her daughter, 3 a half year old Ruby that she would soon be going to pre school nursery soon. She later heard Ruby telling her brother..."I'm a bigger girl now so I'm going to big girl school and mummy's getting me a unicorn."

I think my daughter needs to explain the difference between a uniform and a unicorn. [Confused]

In scouts we encouraged the children to cook withoutequipment, using foil or cleaned sticks instead. We called this Backwoods Cooking. The scouts called it backwards cooking. I don't know who.is right.

My daughter always wore prettycoats under her dress!

My 3 year old DGS was sitting on the sofa with his aunt going through the Playmobil catalogue... Aunt points to the horses and says "oooh I'd like those" and DGS points to the fire engine "well, I'd like that" he says. On the next page she points to another item "well, I think I'd like that one" and he then points to several different Playmobil sets saying "I'd like that one, and that one and that one too". She turn to him and says "that's an awful lot of Playmobil you want, so what do you have to be to get that much for your birthday?" and he turns to her and says without blinking....
"in a shop"

This thread is hilarious, thanks BradfordLass

I am going to go out in the garden and shout 'Trevor!' and see if any pigeons answer

When my daughter was about 2 we were at my sons Christmas play in the church. When the vicar walked in all dressed in white robes with a beard my daughter piped up loudly " mam, is that Jesus". The whole church laughed and she was the star of the show.

When my son was about 6 he was playing with his toys when he said 'bloody thing'. I said where did you get that word from. He replied, out of my throat.

Reading these has made me smile and remember the day my daughter came home from school to ask for something to take in tomorrow as they were having a harvest vegetable service! When I mentioned it to the teacher she said many children over the years have called it that.

My nephew calls pickled onions tooooolaleeeese ?

My middle child, sick of hand me downs, said “all my clothes have had other people in them”!

What a great thread, thanks BradfordLass I've laughed all the way through.

When our DS was about 3, our neighbours at the time had an outside loo. One day I heard him calling out "what are you doing Mrs. W.? wees or poos?

She came out looking very disgruntled and said "I was doing a wee not that that has anything to do with you".

Our son aged about 3 was playing with a toy farm yard in the dining room. He'd invited 2 little girls in from down the road and they were happily building the farm. I couldn't resist a little listen in from the kitchen. Suddenly my boy leapt up, climbed half way up the stair case and stopped. He appeared to have a little wooden chicken in his hand when he shouted down to his audience, 'You two have to do as I say. I'm in charge cos I'm the one with the cock!'

Our daughter used to tell everyone that her daddy played the petarga. Guitar.

I asked 6yr old DGS why he had to climb on everything, even thing not made for climbing on, the reply 'because it's my favourite thing nanny, I couldn't exist without climbing' - pause - 'nanny, what does exist mean'.

My 7 year old grandson was asked a question in school.. the right answer earned a sweet. "Whats 3 + 3? "6 miss," said he. Well done come and get sweet. "I don't effing want a sweet" he replied. Shock horror.... "Teacher - "I will not have that language in my class, stop it"!!! Teacher - "what's 4 + 4 ? .. my GS first to put his hand up .... "8 Miss". Teacher - "well done come and get a sweet". GS - "I dont want an effing sweet"!! Teacher - "thats it I will not have that language I will have your Father to this class to sort this out". Next day... Father stood at front of class with Teacher > Teacher - "Mr Bloggs I want you to watch this"?? Teacher - "OK children whoever gets the question right gets a sweet"!! Teacher - "what is 5 + 5"?? GS hand up, "10 miss". "Yes, well done come and get a sweet" GS - "I dont want an effing sweet"!! The Teacher turns to the Father and says - "well now Mr Bloggs, what have you got to say about that"??? Mr Bloggs replies - "well don't effing give him an effing sweet"!!!!!!

My 6 year old granddaughter asked me why I had patterns on my face ? I think patterns sound much nicer than wrinkles ?

also my grandaughter insisted that she had tuna rats for lunch, not tuna wraps.

My 5 year old grandson and I were having a bit of a picnic after school in his backgarden. When his Dad came home, he said 'oooh Al fresco!'. Ted looked at his plate of babybels, carrot sticks and pita bread, and said in all seriousness 'No there's no al fresco!'

When my nephews were little, in the car driving through countryside with their mum (my sister), one pipes up from the back “mum look! that cow’s giving that cow a piggy back!” ?

I've just got back from the supermarket where a young mum was having a loaf sliced at the bakery counter. Her small son in his pushchair was horrified 'He's BROKEN our bread!'

When one of mine was small and had fallen out of bed I asked 'What happened to you?' 'The floor hit me!'. I was told.

My middle son,when he was 5 he’s now 33,said to his nan”What was it like when the dinosaurs were around?’
When my 2 oldest boys,when they were younger, were asked what sweet they wanted for a treat oldest son said Turkey and light( which was easy to work out was a Turkish delight) middle son said he would like a Dumpy and it took us ages to work out that he wanted a Bounty ??

My eldest daughter called scrambled eggs strangled eggs. But the prize has to go to my youngest daughter. She once stood up in class and said an octopus has eight testicles! She also introduced us as her intermediate family and once told us about girl who hadn’t ‘battered an eyelash!’ To this day she has a habit of getting words almost right.