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Lifesize dolls for elderly residents

(136 Posts)
Luckygirl Sun 28-Jul-19 09:34:17

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-49111534

A good idea? - or not?

merlotgran Mon 29-Jul-19 10:02:09

Showed this to my 93yr old mother, she said “ lovely idea pet, do they make one of Aiden Turner” ?

grin grin

When my mother developed vascular dementia she was convinced Terry Wogan was popping in every day to water her potted plants and Ozzie Osborne was chairman of the entertainment's committee in her nursing home. grin

Goodness knows what she'd have made of a life sized doll but I don't think she'd have been impressed unless it was dressed like a butler or a cocktail waiter!

trisher Mon 29-Jul-19 10:08:03

Sara65 yes she was. And this percepion that all people in care homes are mentally challenged needs stamping on the head. Mymother suffered a fall and had medical needs and little mobility so she needed care. The way people were treated in the care homes I vistited would have really annoyed her. Fortunately she died in hospital where the staff still treated her as a functioning and able person in spite of her being 94. Not all old people are losing their marbles.

GracesGranMK3 Mon 29-Jul-19 10:16:46

My mother knows her teddy is a teddy. She has even commented that 'people must think it odd'. I said that, as she can't have pets, it is like a substitute cat and she seemed happy with that.

Monica if you mean the care system could be improved I would agree. I think we should also be looking at all the people who are isolated in their own homes. However, if you are looking at how people are cared for in care homes I can only say that within strictures of law and budget what I have seen is people doing the very best they can thoughtfully, kindly and with far more patience than I could muster. I don't know how much difference it makes but Mum's home has a Christian foundation so many people from the community get involved. Perhaps that would help in other homes.

Gonegirl Mon 29-Jul-19 10:21:31

I gave a lovely big teddy bear back to the charity shop I bought it from when I was having a clear-out a year ago. I still miss that teddy, especially when I'm feeling a bit down. Wish I could get him back. sad

(I am still of fairly sound mind. I think)

Witzend Mon 29-Jul-19 10:29:48

Once she was in later-stage dementia I did find myself talking to my poor mother as if she were a very small child. E.g. 'Now let's wash your hands' after going to the loo, not to mention, 'No, under the tap, that's right,' - after she was trying to put them down the flushing loo.

My mother's (dementia only) care home was very good at providing activities for those who wanted them - anything from games designed for dementia, and crafts, to singalong sessions and doing their nails - and one lady always laid the tables for lunch or supper - but by a later stage they may simply want to be left in peace - their brains can no longer cope with any sort of confusing instructions.

GabriellaG54 Mon 29-Jul-19 11:04:59

Trisher

The French Riviera in the 1950s interested me hugely, after reading a book about 3 young women who travelled to and around that area for 3 months.
I bet your mother's stories would have matched if not bettered the accounts I read and I wish I had been there in my early 20s.
They were the glamour years after Rita Heyworth married Prince Aly Khan in 1949 and the Riviera glittered with class.
Your mother must have had a truly wonderful time.

GracesGranMK3 Mon 29-Jul-19 11:06:55

We all need a hug gonegirl. smile

Witzend Mon 29-Jul-19 13:42:35

Anything that can give comfort to people with dementia, who are so often restless/anxious/confused - or all three - is surely to be welcomed, whatever it is.

Past a certain stage, dementia sufferers may well no longer be able to partake in 'helpful' domestic activities, since they can no,longer remember what to do, or remember any instructions for more than a few seconds, if that. And trying to 'make' them do things they're no longer properly capable of, may well only make them more anxious and confused.

Sara65 Mon 29-Jul-19 14:26:07

Witzend

You put it very well, restless/anxious/confused, all three present in dementia patients, and I think you have to do whatever seems best not to add to the confusion.

My husband and I disagreed. When his mum said, her mum was coming to take her shopping, he’d say she wasn’t, she’d been dead 50 years! I’d just say, is she? thats nice!

I think he wanted to anchor her in the present, I couldn’t see the point

trisher Mon 29-Jul-19 19:40:03

GabriellaG54 My mum went around 1957.It was a special holiday with my aunt and uncle, they drove down. My brother and I were left with my Nana looking after us. Mum came back with loads of stories which we got until she died One of my DSs commented once "Nana keeps telling me about that holiday" to which I was able to retort she's being doing that for 50 years. But I do agree it must have been quite an experience.

watermeadow Mon 29-Jul-19 19:51:37

I loved my dolls and will look forward to my second childhood if I can play with baby dolls again. I’d like a dolls’ house too.
Don’t need a teddy bear, I’ve still got mine. He’s 72.

FarNorth Mon 29-Jul-19 21:48:52

It's a terrible idea.
Confused people can think that the doll is dead, or that it is someone they are supposed to look after but know they can't.

Sara65 Mon 29-Jul-19 21:51:32

Farnorth

I suppose that’s possible, it’s also possible they could bring some comfort

MissAdventure Mon 29-Jul-19 22:40:52

I think they're a great idea.
A lot of people with advanced dementia respond positively to babies; they will automatically hold out their arms to cradle them and are very able to amuse and tend to them.
Better than sitting in a chair festering away, I think.
Anything that works is good.

(If they offered one to me I would run away, so it would give me some exercise)

FarNorth Tue 30-Jul-19 00:46:10

Babies, yes. Dolls, no.

Sara65 Tue 30-Jul-19 06:20:53

MissAdventure

I agree, not for everyone obviously, but I think we base our prejudices on how we feel about it now, people with advanced dementia, are certainly not the people they were.

Don’t rule anything out is all I’m saying

FarNorth Tue 30-Jul-19 08:55:08

I'm basing my view on having worked with people with advanced dementia.

Sara65 Tue 30-Jul-19 08:59:45

FarNorth

Well you know far more about it than me, but I have spent a lot of time, unfortunately, in a specialised dementia home as a visitor, and I still feel there’s a place for dolls, for SOME patients

Anniebach Tue 30-Jul-19 08:59:54

Surely people need people not substitutes.

Luckygirl Tue 30-Jul-19 09:14:00

I think the "dolls" are a bit surreal - and wonder whether people with dementia might benefit from gentle grounding in reality rather than something as odd and outside reality as a full-size knitted doll. I think they are a bit freaky!

Sara65 Tue 30-Jul-19 09:14:02

In an ideal world Annie, but I think having something to cuddle would be comforting

Anniebach Tue 30-Jul-19 09:18:04

Yes, many people like hugging cushions , but a full size knitted doll ?

Sara65 Tue 30-Jul-19 09:45:24

I agree Annie, the life sized knitted dolls are a bit freaky, but I wouldn’t mind cuddling a baby doll

Anniebach Tue 30-Jul-19 09:55:40

I have no experience of having a family member with dementia .

Cuddling a baby doll fills me with horror, no warm skin to stroke, no warm flesh.

Lovetopaint037 Tue 30-Jul-19 10:01:45

Seriously weird. Hope this doesn’t take on. I’m all for old time favourite music etc. Would you really want to visit a loved relative or friend who is cuddling a doll? It would break my heart.