Won’t accept financial gift

I have had a similar experience in reverse.

Four years ago my son gave me the Jaguar car he was replacing. That caused arguments between my wife and I because she thought that I should pay him for it. I thought that it would spoil his sense of joy at giving it. I still retained my “work car," keeping the Jag as a fun car and one for personal journeys. Four years on and I had an accident in the Jag and the insurance company wrote it off. When the insurance company paid us the value of the car, I paid that sum to my son; thereby satisfying my wives feelings and much to the satisfaction of myself and my son.
I think we should accept that we only have the right to give if we are willing to receive.

I think your youngest is just thinking about you, they sound lovely. I would put the money in a high interest account and make sure it is earmarked for them later

Put her share aside. She may change her mind later. Don't make the other two do without just based on the decision of the one DC

My friend had the same with her three, the eldest gracefully declined and told them to spend it on themselves. They accepted gracefully her suggestion and yes treasure that one.x

Kircubbin 2000 that’s just not true regarding Premium bonds. Of course with £100 of bonds you are not as likely to win as if you had far more. I have much less than the maximum you quote and most months have a win, last month I had three. My interest works out much better than If I invested in any other way. Also there is always the chance of the big win.

You arr blessed truly blessed.Put aside the right time will come when it will be appreciated.

Her kindness her thoughts for you.A true blessing.

Thank you everyone. PB seems a good option if it can be in her name.
I don’t think I will tell her about it though and she is so determined, then she has the option to change her mind or give to her children in future.

Your daughter is being a good mum just like you are. They probably can’t afford to put money aside for their children so this is a way to be able to do that. Just give it to your daughters children. That’s her wish.

I agree. I wish my 3 could be like that.

K2000 I have not found what you said to be the case at all.

How lovely you are able to do this,just save it for the GC I dont know if you can open an account for them without the parents approval but as someone else said put it away with their names in in your mind,then you will be happy knowing the GC will have a nice future.
Good luck, you are a lovely Grandmother

When my mother died I decided to give some of my inheritance to my 4 adult children stating that it was from their grandmother as I knew they would have told me to keep it.

I think you should be proud of your daughter for wanting to be financially independent. Who knows what your future holds? You may need carers and need all the money that seems spare at the moment.

Two things.

First is to say is your daughter on any benefits where a sum of money could affect what she gets? I dont mean you to answer but maybe think about it. In that case it's a mixed blessing because if it's in the bank she would have to declare it and that could mean her benefits stop or are reduced. And even spending it is fraught because it could be considered that she is depriving herself of assets in order to get benefit - which is not allowed. I think the same would apply if she had it as premium bonds.

Secondly when grandma bough premium bo ds for my son, the premium bond people notified us so I'm not sure that you could keep buying some and not saying secret.

My mum offered me £100 once as I mentioned about petrol prices when I went to visit 100s of miles away. I cried through embarrassment and accepted £50. My brothers and sisters tended to ask her for ‘loans’ quite often but I never did. I wanted her to treat herself as she’d had such a hard life. As a young girl and later a wife that became a carer in her 30s.

When mum died her money was shared equally between the 6 of us. There was quite a bit. I soooo wish she’d had treated herself to luxuries and enjoyment and basic good living standards. I would have enjoyed seeing her happy more than I enjoyed spending or investing the money. ?

Spot on, Gonegirl.

Do what your younger child says and split her portion between her 3 children. Why is that a problem?

a gift that you have to force on someone isn't a gift it's a burden; if your child doesn't want it for whatever reason then you have to accept that.
If you want to put it aside in case of emergencies in the future, or add it to their share in your will, then don't tell them that is what you have done - it won't make them happy, it might distress them and it could cause a rift.
Your child wants you to enjoy the money you have earned - they'll probably feel better about anything you leave them in a will if they can see that you have done this during your lives
Give the others their gifts as you have decided to do - it can hardly cause an issue when you are doing what you want and honouring the wishes of potential recipients

Lots to think about here, every reply I read my opinion on what’s best changes. I defiantly do not want to case rifts by forcing this upon her.
Like I said in my original post I plan on doing something for each of my Grandchildren anyway, so I don’t want to do that with her share. If she takes the money and chooses to do that the that’s her choice.
I think I will just have to keep hold of it and hope she will come to me if she needs it.

A family's circumstances can change in an instant. While your daughter feels she doesn't want the money now, she doesn't know what the future holds. Ill health, serious accident, divorce, redundancy - it happens all the time and takes us by surprise. Leave the money to her in your will if she won't take it now and she can give it away or keep it as she thinks fit at that time. A good idea to say nothing about what you are doing, as per your previous comment.

Me too Hideaway...I recently gave my daughter £1000 to help her over a difficult time...I felt a little bad thinking that I should do the same for my son ....who is low paid and works hard and doesn’t ever complain. So I explained to him what I’d done for his. sister recently, and said I’d like to do the same for him. But he refused...saying he’d only waste it on beer and ciggies..( he has no family) I was quite shocked as I know he needs a new laptop as his is ancient... but respective his wishes. But I told him the mo eh was there whenever he found f a use for it. We left it like that . I respected his viewpoint...but wish he had accepted the offer. Children!! You can never tell the ones that will totally surprise you.

Give what you want to those who will accept and 'ring fence ' a similar amount in your will for the refuser before the rest is divided out equally. Tell them all what you have done so they will all get equal shares in the end ( sort of- as you can't really inflation proof it). If one set of grandchildren directly get more now, that could be asking for trouble later down the line.
However, don't underestimate how much you may need yourselves in the future.

I'm with Gonegirl, what a wonderful daughter you have. X

Go ahead and divide the money as you had planned but don’t hand her share over to the daughter who has refused it - just put hers in an account for her to have when she is willing to receive it

Your daughter obviously loves you and wants you to have fun with your money

If you can’t do that, put it aside and don’t bring it up again, it would likely makes her feel awkward. I wouldn’t set it up for her kids, as thats just going against her wishes