Random acts of kindness

You burdened her with your kindness. She burdened you with her change.

Not rejection in my eyes, the lady wanted to put het own money in, by taken your money she may have felt as she was not putting towards the charity.

I offered a local person £10 when she was clearly in a real pickle as she hadn't got money for her electricity meter, it was cold, her partner was working away etc. She was so reluctant to take it and said she couldn't see any way of paying it back in the next few weeks but we resolved it by my saying that perhaps when she found someone else in need she could pass it on. I didn't mention that I had won £25 from Premium Bonds that morning as that would have seemed wrong to say, but somehow it seemed a fairer distribution of good luck!

I think you did a very kind thing and I think we should not be embarrassed to just say thank you nicely.

I always say a big thank you if offered a seat on the train and have several times lately been offered to go in front of people in the supermarket queue as I have one or two items and hey have a trolley full, I have also offered this myself. I think if we are grateful it will encourage people to do it more.

Slightly off topic (apologies) but so many people are pointing out how the giving gives as much pleasure as the receiving. It reminds me of all those posts on other threads where people ask their family not to give them Christmas presents. Always seems a bit mean to me.

Smiling at strangers. Do it all the time in our village but have to stop myself when I go into larger towns where no eye contact is the rule.

Beckett - how sad. I'm tall so often get called on in supermarkets to reach items down from the top shelf, so will not rush on in future.

Always remember to give you must be willing to receive....... Yes even 85p for a £

It was kind of you you do that for her but I don't think she was rejecting you. She was probably grateful you gave her a pound coin. I think I would have also felt the need to pay you back though.
You were still kind to realise she needed a coin and to offer her one regardless of whether she paid you back.

I was in a shop and a lady on a mobility scooter was struggling to reach something on a shelf, I offered to get it for her but she said " if I wanted help I would ask for it " Charming.

I think she just wanted to pay you back in change probably couldn’t believe that someone would give her the pound. I would have done the same ,I would probably have paid you in 50p and rest. Lovely gesture from you

I had a long saga of acts of kindness with a one legged tramp called Pete in my early 20’s. Firstly I got in touch with a church homes association and spent days getting him a flat which he promptly refused saying he couldn’t live indoors ! He also said he hadn’t asked me to interfere which was true. Then he begged me to buy him a bottle of whisky and eventually I snapped I can’t afford it ! He said I never asked you to pay for it and pulled out 3x £20 notes! Then one day ( he lived at the end of my street) I was on my way home with a brand new copy of Rimbaud poetry. He said what’s that? I told him ( I was too polite in those days) He promptly quoted Le bateau ivre by Rimbaud word perfect, grabbed my book, drew a picture of Christ in it, said his mother was an alcoholic who beat him badly then died when he was 17 which reduced me to tears! To this day I’ve never seen such an amazing drawing of Christ! I was once talking to him and noticed the disgust and harshness in peoples eyes and realised what he lived with every day. Despite that there was the strangest dignity about him.

Great, isn't it, harrigran. Though I did once wonder why a heavily pregnant woman laden with heavy shopping bags gave me the evils when I rushed to open the door for her and advised her that she shouldn't be carrying so much in her condition.

She wasn't pregnant.

My husband once pointed out to the "lady " in the next car to his, in traffic jam that her rear light was not working. Her response "what the has it go to do with you.

Aren't some people simply delightful?

Can't see why you feel so rejected!
OK so you gave her a pound coin - she wanted to pay you for it, fair enough. Many people, especially elderly don't like to think they are getting something for nothing.
When she started rummaging in her purse for the change to pay you, you could have easily said "no, that is absolutely fine, put a donation in one of the collection boxes" and walked away - unless you thought she was going to chase you round the shop like something out of Benny Hill !!

Those who have mentioned being a gracious "receiver" have made me think. We shouldn't let pride get in the way, as I have occasionally.
jaylucy wrote
"Many people, especially elderly don't like to think they are getting something for nothing".
Yes that's me.

A few years ago I had paid for several hours parking but was back to my car much earlier. Seeing someone else park I shouted "have you got a ticket?" as I was going to give them mine. I got a lot of abuse as the person seemed to think I was accusing them of not buying a ticket!

Be careful about smiling at strangers, especially in London!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PT0ay9u1gg4

What I would have received was a nice, warm feeling that I'd done someone a good turn. I wasn't looking for approval. I think that's the idea that random acts of kindness are their own reward. The principle of 'one good turn deserves another' doesn't necessarily mean that the person on the receiving end is morally obliged to reciprocate. It's more likely that the world becomes a better place if people are kind to one another in small, everyday ways.

I accept, though, that some people can't distinguish between a kind gesture with no strings attached and 'charity' especially when there's a very small amount of money involved. If those people are not used to and can't, or won't, accept occasional kindness from strangers, that's very sad.

I was going to amend my last sentence from 'can't distinguish' to 'find it hard to distinguish'. I didn't mean to sound judgemental and My words weren't directed at any particular person! ☺

I had the opposite with a shopping trolley. Guy offered me his trolley to save me doing the coin in the slot in return for my coin. So I did. When I returned trolley, turned out to be the old pound coin that you can’t use any more! How petty of him. But I can still use it at Tesco, so it’s become my supermarket coin.

My French Jewish granny used to always make sure it was anonymously given. My mum received a pure wool coat from an expensive store and a ton of coal anonymous sender but she guessed it was granny. And every time we visited a young widow who used to live next door to her until the lady's house burnt down she would go into the kitchen for a drink of water and put a bundle of notes in the tea towel drawer. I was only young and she told me 'You keep quiet say nothing' when I saw her. Think it was the best way then the receiver doesn't feel bad.

Shizam, your bank will change an old pound coin, well so far my branch if Barclays has done anyway

It's really great when employees of faceless companies are kind (unlike jobsworths). We were on our way to Hull and our journey meant a change in Manchester, but our train was late and we missed the connection. We had purchased split tickets which meant we would have to pay again from Manchester to Hull. A lovely rail employee on the gate gave us a pass to travel and ticked a box stating "random act of kindness". Would you believe it of a rail company employee, they have such a bad press?

Not a rejection but something lovely. Years back I helped someone who nearly fainted waiting for the bus. She was ill and had had to go into town for her prescription and felt faint. I found somewhere for her to sit and then travelled with her last my stop and made sure she got home safe. She thanked me profusely. Some years later waiting for the same bus after being dropped off in town by a works colleague I realised that I had left my purse at work. I must have said "oh no" very loudly as I was worn out and the thought of a half an hour walk was one step too far. A lady standing next to me asked what was wrong and I told her and said "well I have a long tiring walk home". She straight away offered me the fare. I tried to refuse but she insisted and said "you don't recognise me do you?" When I looked more closely I realised it was the woman I had helped a few years before. She said she had always remembered my kindness and it was a small way of repaying me.x