In case it’s helpful, here are some things that seem to widen the divide between gps and the new mother, as read on here and Mumsnet:
* Only taking/ keeping photos of the baby with themselves or their son (if his parents) and omitting or even cropping out the baby’s mother
* unsolicited advice
* persistent comparison or commentary: “he can’t be hungry again surely!” [my mum was guilty of this as she bottle fed in the days of “satisfying” formula]“You were never like that, you went down at 7.00 and we didn’t hear a peep until 1 or 2 in the morning and then you slept until 7.30 am!”
* picking up the baby without asking, walking away with the baby and not giving him or her back straight away when asked, - nothing more frustrating than being handed your furious baby who will feed windily and be a PITA all because Aunty Tracy was bent on proving she could settle her and wouldn’t give her back when the whimpering started.
* GP not fully enjoying the time spent together because they are already angling for the next visit or fishing as to who else has visited and how often.
I was lucky with my MIL as she wasn’t massively into babies. She preferred them older. We saw them every fortnight but she didn’t take over.
Had we lived closer, my mum might have been a bit intense, but then I think she remembered how possessive she felt over her firstborn (my brother) and so she made a conscious effort to curb herself a bit. I do think she’d have been an awful MIL though had my brother not been gay and if he’d married and had children. Mum tends to see other women as competition and she’d have been a nightmare. As her daughter I get a free pass, but her DIL certainly wouldn’t have!
Things you find stressful that other people don't notice.
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