Suggestions please

Something to plant in the garden as a remembrance? Or a tree somewhere?

Thank you everyone for your suggestions, there are many there to consider and some I had already thought of. As for inviting husband and daughter for a "wee visit" I'm afraid that is not possible for many reasons. I'll send letters to both and am now aware of a charity to make a donation to in her honour. My friend was also Chairperson of a dog breed club and it was through our mutual love and involvement of this breed that we met. I will explore the posibility of donating a memorial sash for the club's annual show.

I will not be able to go to the funeral as I am scheduled to have major surgery a couple of weeks later and have been advised not to fly (long haul) for 4-6 weeks pre or post that.

The family are arranging for a video to be made so that those of us unable to attend will still be able to feel part of the service.

I will mark the occasion by wearing pink (her favourite colour) and sipping gin at the appropriate time here.

My best friend died nearly six years ago...we were best friends for over 35 years. Our husbands were friends, and our children were the same age, went to the same school for some time and we lived close by. When she died I went through all the photo albums we had going back to when we first met and had all the photo's with my friend in, copied. I bought a photo album and stuck the pics in with captions underneath. They told me it was one of the most wonderful gifts as they didn't have any of the photo's previously. Its often the personal things, like a letter or a photo that is so precious.

When my Mum died one of her friends wrote to me and told me that my Grandma had told herself and my Mum the facts of life. She remembered scuttling down the stairs together afterwards giggling and laughing convinced it wasn’t true! It cheered me up immensely.

A donation to a charity that may have been of help to your friend or if interest to her would be good. A letter of remembrance will be very acceptable. Or a token of remembrance say a plant, tree planted in your own garden (if a available to you) with a photo sent to the family.

Yes, a charitable donation or perhaps a restaurant gift voucher of your friends favourite restaurant so they can go and celebrate your friend's life, when they are up to it of course. Sorry for your loss which must be very difficult being so far away.

I agree with the photo album idea if you have many photos of you and your friend together (or even some of your friend before she met her husband), but if you only have a few you could pick the best two and put them into frames for her husband and daughter. These, sent with a letter recalling all the good times you had together and expressing your feelings, would be a great gift for them to treasure for many years.

I have to say that my first thought was photos, but the idea of ordering a rose bush/tree on line here in the UK and having it delivered is a very good one, especially if you can include a nice message with it. Then they can enjoy seeing it bloom every year ... how lovely. Maybe do both!

Meanwhile I send you all best wishes and want to say how sorry I am that you have lost this dear friend. A similar thing happened to me a couple of years ago when one of my best and oldest friends died. She lived abroad but we kept in constant touch and I still miss her so very much. Hang in there Sue ... ❤?

Apologies if this has been mentioned earlier, but what about two nice picture frames, maybe silver and they can each put a favourite photo of their wife/mum when they feel able?

Summerstorm , I loved your suggestion of inviting them for a wee holiday . They might pounce on the chance .

Do you have any photos of you and your friend that her family may not have? It is easy to take digital photos of them, download them to your computer and send them, or a link to them to the family.

If you have kept letters from her, copies of them might be appreciated too.

Sorry for your loss - loosing a good friend is never easy.

So sorry for your loss - I always like the idea of a donation to a charity in the memory of a loved one

My aunt died at the beginning of the year. I knew she loved animals so I gave a donation to Battersea dogs and cats home.

If you have some photos of your times (old and new) together, you could always make up a photo book and send one to each of them and even keep one for yourself. I did one when my MIL died and sent one to each of her sons. They were very much appreciated and do not take long to do.
for you.

Maybe order an album on line and then send them photos and a journal of reminiscences.

You can get some rose bushes linked to a charity. For example my sister in law had a liver transplant last year so I found one linked to transplant foundation . Maybe there is one linked to your friends illness x

So many funerals have the request ‘family flowers only. Donations to ...... charity’. I think you should gently enquire what is requested.

I would say a rose bush, someone got one for me after my mum died 23 yrs ago. And it's still going strong, and I always think of my mum when I'm pruning it etc.

Would a nice photo frame for each of them to put a photo of your friend be an idea? Sorry for your loss

Well if it's to be a gift for the bereaved rather than a tribute to the deceased, then it could be anything. Bottle of wine? Special chocolates? Photo frame? Silver trinket box with "Condolences for your loss 2019" inscribed inside the lid. All manner of things like this could remind them you cared for their feelings at this time.

Summerstorm
Who would be paying the not insubstantial fares to Oz for a 'wee' holiday and think of the arrangements those people would have to make for their homes/gardens/pets to be looked after not to mention holiday insurance.
Not a good idea.

I agree with jane10 that a letter from you will always be treasured.
If they have a suitable garden, a rose or tree would be appreciated too. I still have the rose that a friend gave me after my mother died more than 20 years ago, and I love to see it flowering every year.

David Austin Roses are based in the U.K. and you can order online. Their roses are lovely.

My condolences on the loss of your friend Sue. It sounds as though you had a very special friendship.

Maybe inviting them over for a wee holiday with you. It sounds like your friend was ill for some time and maybe when things settle down a bit they would benefit from a break

It would be nice to write them a letter each with some of your memories of her that relate to things they didn’t know. My Dad’s (Quaker) funeral was very special because friends and family shared aspects of my Dad that we didn’t see, and it left us as his kids with a richer understanding of who he was as a person. He was a miserable old sod for us in his declining years, yet many spoke of his warmth and his smile, which we never saw. His sisters and brother talked about his childhood and youth, and his Quaker friends spoke of his generosity and commitment - all things we never knew about. Your precious memories are a greater gift than anything else to a bereaved family.

The idea of a rose bush for their garden or sponsoring a tree is good, or did your friend support any particular charity that you could give a donation to ? Doesn't have to be one in the UK, you could give a donation to an equivalent one in Oz.
Even a nice photo frame or do you have something that your friend gave you that you could pass on to her daughter, along with the story behind it?
Please write a letter with stories and memories of your friend. Memories like this show a different side of the deceased person and can often raise a smile at such a very sad time.
I have had this happen to me twice the other way round when two very special friends passed away in Australia . I unfortunately was unable to go to either funeral (one of which was actually on my birthday) and so instead I just visited our local church for several minutes of quiet thoughts, as well as giving donations to charities that were suitable here in the UK

Since you knew your friend for so long, could you make a photobook of your memories? Easily done online with Photobox. Or send a rosemary bush from an online fir (rosemary for remembrance). I'm sorry for your loss.