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Friend is alway late

(69 Posts)
fizzers Mon 23-Sep-19 19:25:36

So I arranged to meet my friend in Costa today, she was half an hour late!, in fact she is always late, anything from a few minutes to half an hour, there's alway a good excuse, traffic was bad, car wouldn't start, couldn't find a parking space

If I can be on time why can't she? it's beginning to get on my nerves

bikergran Fri 27-Sep-19 09:21:43

It was my birthday and my friend and I had started having an Indian meal to celebrate as her birthday was just around the corner, I would pick her up as she only lived round the corner.

We went out this one time(the last time) and sat down had drink, ordered our meal...we ate a little of our meal then she announced she "couldn't stay long as she had to go to family birthday buffet and couldn't eat all her meal"

It must have been all of half hour before she said "I'm going to have to go now"! The proceeded to ask the waiter to pack up rest of her meal to take away (cant rem what I did with mine think I must have just left it with the shock)!!

Then off she went!! never invited her to anything ever again and our friendship went down hill .

MaryFinn Thu 26-Sep-19 13:11:23

I have a friend like that too. I used to be a bit of a "Latey" but I'm better now! But my friend was terrible. I remember one occasion: we were originally due to meet at 12 pm at the holiday flat where I was staying. She was so late, I left her a note saying I'd meet her in town at 3.30 outside a certain store. She never arrived. We went back to the flat (I had my 3 children with me) and she finally turned up at about 5 pm, then complained that I came on holiday when it got dark early - it was October! I think she left at about 6.30 pm - hardly worth her while! I'm still in touch with her but only via email. I might meet up with her in the future, but she lives a long way away and never makes the effort to come and see me where I live!

Daisyboots Thu 26-Sep-19 12:53:35

When I come to England I like to see as many friends as possible. One time I arranged to meet a friend for coffee at 11am and it was a 5 minute drive from her house and had a car park. I was coming from the next town. She finally arrived an hour late. At 1pm when I said I had to leave to get across town to meet another friend for lunch she said I couldn't leave yet as she hadnt finished telling me all her news. I made it to the restaurant and my other friend arrived at the same time. She had driven 80 miles to meet me. Now I dont say anything about coming to England because my time is as precious as hers.

AllotmentLil Wed 25-Sep-19 17:02:47

It’s been interesting to read how many of you say, “I had a friend ....”! Me too. Once she arrived an hour late for lunch at our house (the rest of her family were on time!) bringing another person with her! Another time we arrived (on time) at hers for supper and she came downstairs an hour and a half later saying she was listening to a radio programme! In the end I just stopped seeing her.
PS I spend a lot of time waiting for people as I seem to be incapable of being anything but ten minutes early. At least!

Treelover Wed 25-Sep-19 09:23:35

I used to be late when I was younger, I found it exciting like a gamble then I gradually came to that not only do others find it arrogant (Oh No!) but if you are late you have to work so much harder, exciting though it is it is a losers game. Since then, decades ago now, I have been a stickler for being on time and have found that life is much easier for those on time, they bask in self-righteousness and the older I get the earlier I get because I just don't trust fate anymore and I can't stand the stress! What should you do about your friend? assuming you don't have texts or messaging on your mobiles, as nowadays so much easier than it was and keep each other updated...just say to her next time. 'When will you ever learn? its very rude' and take your Kindle/book as another said. Don't you get stressed about it, you are in the right. They are the ones that need help.

grandmac Tue 24-Sep-19 22:34:33

My sister is like this. Always always very late!! But she's my sister so I cant stop seeing her! grin

TrendyNannie6 Tue 24-Sep-19 20:15:54

I got a friend like this when we all meet always half hour late.it seems she likes to make a grand entrance drives us all mad. Much as I like her I just find it sooo rude it’s every single time, I’ve threatened to buy her a watch, she finds it funny that she is always late, we don’t

eilys Tue 24-Sep-19 18:11:35

Group of 6 who meet monthly one person always late, got to accept it, but have been very ill so I told her I will wait for 10 mins then I go home, the remainder of the group moan constantly about her time keeping but never challenge, I have gone home a few times, great relief when I stopped. cooking 2 a year

Ooeyisit Tue 24-Sep-19 17:54:16

I has a friend who would ask me to meet her for lunch . In this particular restaurant you were served buffet style . We would arrive and she would get in the queue with me ,tell me what she wanted then say I’m just going to the loo. By the time she came back I had ordered and paid . Then she would say I will pay next time .This went on until she knew she had to pay .I was asked shall we just have a tea cake , I would reply I want a meal .They had more money than we did so it wasn’t as if they were hard up but mean .I stopped the meet ups .

leeds22 Tue 24-Sep-19 17:41:01

As a teenager, I used to meet up with a friend in the city centre. She was always late and I used to be hanging around in shop doorways. Eventually I took to arriving 30 min late and she never realised. 50 years later she is very punctual!

NannyG123 Tue 24-Sep-19 17:25:28

It really irritates me when people are always late.occasionally it can't be helped. I have a friend like that, so I never get there on time, only late by about 5 mins because it doesn't feel right to me, but then I'm waiting around. Very annoying.

CarlyD7 Tue 24-Sep-19 17:11:19

It's so rude isn't it? One of my friends is like this and she was constantly late until I told her that next time I would wait ONLY 15 minutes and then leave. As I pointed out to her, she was, in effect, saying to me that my time wasn't important! And so, the next time she was again late and I left after 15 minutes (got a frantic phone call, 30 mins after we were due to meet - where was I? My answer: on the way home - I waited 15 minutes, as I said etc. Next time she was only 10 minutes late (she's getting better!)

trendygran Tue 24-Sep-19 16:30:22

A friend of mine is always late when we arrange to meet. she usually blames the bus being held up in traffic,or seeing someone she knows at the bus stop. This happens practically every time another friend and I arrange to meet her,and it drives us mad. We also use buses to get into the city ,but usually manage to make it on time.-or very nearly.

Shinyredcar Tue 24-Sep-19 16:11:20

My DD is a mystery. At work she is a meticulous time-keeper. At home she runs 15 minutes late, and I am left hanging around.

FiL used to complain about MiL being late and said he had worked out that she never allowed for travelling time.

SusieB50 Tue 24-Sep-19 15:58:17

My DH is always late and never ready on time . He always manages to be five minutes late for GP appointments , but of course they are always late too . We once missed our ferry to France as we left it too late .I am always too early everywhere but prefer to be relaxed and calm instead of flying in at the last minute . It causes many many rows !

sweetonion Tue 24-Sep-19 15:55:44

My MIL was always late...started telling her to arrive 30 minutes earlier than I’d tell others. The shock on her face when she couldn’t make a grand entrance was priceless.

Had a friend who was always late. Then I found out she never figured travel time. So, if we were meeting up at 11, she would leave her house at 11 not realizing it was a 20 minute bus ride to get there!

Quizzer Tue 24-Sep-19 15:52:32

I have a SIL who seems to have no concept of time. She arrived 3 HOURS late for a carefully cooked Sunday Lunch and even held up her daughter's wedding! She doesn't plan timings, but doesn't seem to notice that she spoils others' plans. angry

Grosvenor Tue 24-Sep-19 15:31:01

I used to pick up a friend in my car for evenings out. She was never ready to go, but when she was still in her underwear, drying her hair, I stopped offering. We then met at the venue, each driving our own car, and I always arrived later than agreed, as I knew she wouldn't be there on time. The friendship gradually fizzled out.

Whattochoose Tue 24-Sep-19 15:20:47

That is just showing disrespect for you and your time. I had a friend like that too. Inviting her for a date 30 minutes earlier than necessary made no difference. I stopped calling. She never even noticed.

Pantglas2 Tue 24-Sep-19 15:16:36

Are the Lateys always missing buses, trains, planes, medical and dental appointments as well or is just a friends and family thing?

I’m an On Timer and I’ve got a couple of Latey friends, mostly Earlies and the subject fascinates me that we are all so consistent that you could bet the farm on the timings of a meet-up and never lose!

I’m convinced that Lateys are less focused and more easily distracted than Earlies and On-Timers which is why they’re always being waylaid by ‘events’.

pinkquartz Tue 24-Sep-19 15:12:49

I have a friend who was always late. sometimes as much as an hour. In the end I did get angry about it.
Because if you are waiting you are not doing something else.

After I talked to her about it she made much more effort to be on time so that was mostly a positive result though I suspect she never really forgave me.

Prior to speaking to her about it I used to mentally expect her 30-40 mins later than we arranged.
One time I was with her and she said she was late meeting someone else.......I just smiled. That was when I knew I had to talk to her about it because I was getting mean inside putting up with it.

I think being always is a power play. usually she would turn up with tales of a drama or crisis that had held her up. it got very boring.

Saggi Tue 24-Sep-19 15:06:58

These inconsiderate people think too highly of themselves is all...they believe their time is so much more precious than yours. Dump them!

Mauriherb Tue 24-Sep-19 15:04:39

Yes I think we all have a friend like that. One of my friends was always late and used to think it was hilarious that I got annoyed until one day I asked her why she thought her time was so much more important than mine. She's never been late since !!

nanasam Tue 24-Sep-19 15:00:22

The last time she visited was with her daughter. They were 90 minutes late, then spent hours sitting tapping on their phones! I said 'I might as well go and have a nap'. So very rude!

BlimeyORiley Tue 24-Sep-19 14:59:39

It is rude and selfish to be habitually late. Do latecomers think their time is more important than anyone else's? It also stops the occasion from being enjoyable when the punctual one is simmering. I agree with whywhywhy - just move on