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Letting go

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Pollyj Wed 02-Oct-19 17:03:58

Anyone else still feel so connected/anxious about their adult children? Things aren’t great for mine, but every tiny problem sends my anxiety soaring and my need to ‘fix’ and ‘solve’ drives me mad. What do I fear? I’m not sure, but the worst (might throw themselves off a roof is one). I just want them to be happy.. It’s as if unless everything is perfect for them, I am anxious and worried to the extend I find it hard to sleep and so on. I won’t be here forever, nor should it still be my job to solve everything. I somehow feel responsible! Anyone else?

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Shizam Thu 03-Oct-19 23:39:40

Well I constantly worry. And offer to help when there are problems in their lives. Why wouldn’t you?! I lost my mother as a child and know how hard the journey can be without one.

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MissAdventure Thu 03-Oct-19 23:41:42

Nobody has said they wouldn't help.
Nobody has said they don't love their children or grandchildren.

They have simply said they don't spend a huge amount of time worrying about them.

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Gonegirl Fri 04-Oct-19 10:13:39

Exactly MissAdventure. hmm

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Jabberwok Fri 04-Oct-19 10:22:41

We do keep out of our children's affairs and certainly don't worry about them too much, but they both know that if they have a problem of any kind we are there to listen and advise if appropriate, sympathise when if necessary, pour oil on troubled waters if needed! They both reciprocate with us which was a boon when we had a particularly difficult house move!!

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Shropshirelass Sat 05-Oct-19 09:15:28

No, I just let them get on with their own lives, they have to sort out their own problems. If it was very difficult then I would discuss it with them and help them to find a way out of it. They tend not to run to me and they are very independent.

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cas58 Sat 05-Oct-19 09:33:34

Gonegirl ahahahahaaaa! You make me laugh. However, I totally agree. I let the boy get on with it.

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Smiley4 Sat 05-Oct-19 09:54:50

It’s easier when they move out. I still have one at home and I worry a lot. So I know what you mean.

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