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where along the meaness to generosity range are you ?

(57 Posts)
maisyann Fri 25-Oct-19 09:12:47

based on our family background and life experiences we all have different levels of what we think is mean or over generous ?

I don't think people change so on marriage or start of a partnership some compromise has to be worked out.

I would love to hear how you deal with situations this dilemma can throws up.

Teetime Fri 25-Oct-19 09:15:04

DH and I agree on what we are going to donate give as presents etc etc. Allocation of time is something we both overdo.

sodapop Fri 25-Oct-19 09:19:02

Yes we are much the same as Teetime My husband spends quite a bit of his time helping others.

Fiachna50 Fri 25-Oct-19 09:23:18

No idea what I am and really don't care what anyone thinks of me. They take as they find. Mean, generous don't know. I help/donate when/where I can.

polnan Fri 25-Oct-19 09:55:11

I fluctuate,, from being over generous, to then a mean streak comes in..

Theoddbird Fri 25-Oct-19 09:57:25

Think I am middling.

MissAdventure Fri 25-Oct-19 09:59:39

It depends what's meant by mean.
Mean spirited, or mean in terms of money?

I can fluctuate on both, like most people, I suppose.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Fri 25-Oct-19 10:07:07

I hope I have a generous spirit but I'm really not sure. Being mean-spirited is awful.
When it comes to money I'm probably quite mean - we didn't have much as children so I think it has made me prefer to keep things to myself. Terrible, I know.
If I won oodles on the lottery I'd definitely share it out fairly as I think it's the right thing to do - chance would be a fine thing.

harrigran Fri 25-Oct-19 10:07:37

I would say I am fairly generous, I give and spend more on family and friends than I do on myself.
I give to charities but this year I have decided to stop supporting the ones that pay their CEOs obscene salaries.

BradfordLass72 Fri 25-Oct-19 10:07:40

There's an old Yorkshire saying:

'Ear all, see all, say nowt;
Eat all, sup all, pay nowt;
And if ivver tha does owt fer nowt
Allus do it fer thissen.

For anyone south of Sheffield, herwith a translation.

Hear everything, see everything, say nothing
Eat everything, drink everything, pay nothing
And if you ever do anything for nothing
Do it for yourself.

That's me - mean as a miser and stingy with it. grin

Gonegirl Fri 25-Oct-19 10:22:38

I suppose it does depend on how much you've got to start off with. Bit like the widow's mites.

I'm beginning to think I've been too generous with my lot. I put some money on GS2's bank account this week for him to spend whilst out and about during half term with his mates. Has he thanked me? Not a word. In fact I've just messaged his mum telling her to tell him to message me a thank you. Shouldn't have to do that.

And then there's the Christmas and birthdays. It seems to have become the norm to give them money and gifts. Well not this year. I'm cutting back.

I support my fav charities (always children's). Can't be arsed to work out how much they pay their staff or how well behaved they are on-site.

Gonegirl Fri 25-Oct-19 10:24:52

polnan I think I've hit one of the mean streaks you mention. grin

MissAdventure Fri 25-Oct-19 10:26:10

I'm probably fairly mean, moneywise, but then I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing.
I don't encourage the acquisition of 'stuff' and never have set much store by it. (Tight arse, in other words!)

Maggie1806 Fri 25-Oct-19 10:30:02

I often give my children and grandchildren money, I would rather see them enjoy it now rather than when I’ve gone!!

kittylester Fri 25-Oct-19 10:33:52

We have guidelines with regard to presents so that we dont treat family members with a marked difference.

Giving to charity is a moveable thing.

We both give more time than we really should when it comes to volunteering etc.

glammanana Fri 25-Oct-19 10:35:05

I would like to think of myself as more caring than generous specially to my DGCs,my eldest DGS when he was at Uni I made sure he always had a food delivery every month via Tesco/Asda so he wouldn't run short I still do it now sometimes and he has been working quite a while now.
If any of the others are saving for something special I will pass money towards whatever it is.
I donate to 3 x charities 2 for children 1 for animals and will pass on food to those sitting on the streets

EllieB52 Fri 25-Oct-19 10:38:44

My DH is one of the meanest (money) people I have ever known (there is one other but that’s a whole other story)! He looks for any reason not to spend money. Unless it’s with his golf buddies then he splashes the cash. Grrr. I never had much money when I was growing up (divorced mum) and then after marriage (not the same DH) there was a mortgage to pay etc. Now that I am retired I am quite comfortable financially and will spend on my married son and daughter in law when I can. It gives me pleasure to be able to do it and if it helps them that’s great. They certainly don’t expect it from me and are always quick to say thank you. I may overdo it a bit but I don’t care.

newnanny Fri 25-Oct-19 10:43:23

I am very generous with my close family with both my time and money; dh, sisters, dc and dgc, I am quite generous with money to my dear nieces and nephews. I probably give about £150 to charity each year but I could do more so less generous with people who I don't know. Last year I bought my younger sister a car so she could get to work as she does not have much money. I paid her daughter, my niece £50 each month all of the 3 years time she was at uni to pay her electricity and internet as I knew most students get help from their family but my sister could not afford to help her dd. I spent £250 buying her ds my d nephew some sporting equipment he needed to progress in his sport. I have 17 nieces and nephews but do give my younger sisters children more as I know she can't and my other nephews and nieces less as they get given a lot by their parents. I do it discretely and hope other nieces and nephews do not know.

EllanVannin Fri 25-Oct-19 10:46:58

-----Generous to a fault I'm afraid, with everything.

Lorelei Fri 25-Oct-19 10:57:11

I've never had a great deal to give and would say I'm careful but try to give what I can. There's not too many kids in our family but I've gone a bit short before to put the kids first if they needed something (it probably wouldn't wash with me if they just wanted something). I rarely have any extra to donate to charities but do have the local hospice and 2 animal charities that I donate to whenever I can and have been fortunate enough to win a few competition prizes that I have been able to donate to them too (few lots of animal food and supplements + some hampers & things for raffles) and a percentage from the final value of items I've sold on ebay (10% - 100% depending what the item was). If I ever managed to win a big cash sum (National Lottery or Euromillions type of sum) I'd be quite generous with people close to me, the charities I already support and a few others that have meant something over the years but I couldn't afford to help. I would also try and change lives for the better if I could - I'd like to think I'd do a lot of good if rich, to really make a difference! My better half and I have similar outlooks and goals, but if push came to shove he may be slightly more generous than me so I'd have to watch he didn't give it all away.

NannyG123 Fri 25-Oct-19 11:16:55

I'm not mean, just careful. But always pay my way.

SallyB392 Fri 25-Oct-19 11:50:24

I have bipolar and during my last major manic phase a few years ago I borrowed a lot of money, (Barclays kindly offered it if I ticked the box 'yes'), & after paying off my son's debts, I decided the local street sleepers needed some clothing, tents, sleeping bags etc. All best quality of course (Next, Monsoon, Mountain Warehouse etc), in my muddled mind I thought that these unfortunate were my friends fallen upon hard times.

I spent literally thousands of pounds, which as I was working was manageable in respect of repayments, but then my mood dropped. When I say dropped, I mean dropped to an unmanageable depressive state. Suicidal ideation took over further intensified on discovering that my 4 yr old grandson had tragically died. To add to my depression I had a number of strokes.

This downward spiral led to my losing my job and I reached a point where I had no alternative but to declare myself bankrupt. So now generous? We pay a small amount monthly to two charities, and purchase gifts for our young children but otherwise we are mean now. And I have no control over my money such as it is. My husband manages our finances.

Calendargirl Fri 25-Oct-19 11:50:34


Your little rhyme makes Yorkshire people sound awful!

Miserly, stingy, always expecting something for nothing.


ladymuck Fri 25-Oct-19 12:00:54

I'm very generous in some ways, mean in others. When it comes to presents for my family, and donating to my favourite charities...very generous. However, when it comes to buying, I'm always suspicious about the prices (how is it that firms can reduce their prices so much for their sales, surely they are still making a profit?), so I shop around and pay as little as possible.

lemongrove Fri 25-Oct-19 12:07:00

Haha BradfordLass it’s a long time since I heard that.
Yorkshire folk can be a bit tight with money( they like a bargain) but are the most generous spirited and welcoming people you could wish to meet.
I love buying things for other people and am in no way mean,
Either with money, gifts, donations or in spirit.