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To see oursels as ithers see us !

(28 Posts)
gallusquine Thu 31-Oct-19 12:25:54

In Parliament yesterday Jo Swinson described herself as a "girly swot". This really took me aback as I always see her as a bullying, slightly desperate student rep. and most certainly not as a girly swot.

I remember once being described by a stranger as a "wee Scottish granny", this was not the image I had of myself at the time and it wasn't how I thought others saw me.

How do you think others see you ?

grannyqueenie Thu 31-Oct-19 12:27:20

I’d like to think 2 dress sizes smaller than I really am! smile

Calendargirl Thu 31-Oct-19 12:36:39

I imagine they see me as a youthful, cheery, hip young granny, nowhere near as old as I am.

In reality, I had to sign in and take a photo of myself when visiting somewhere recently. I needed my specs to read the instructions, and nearly collapsed when said photo appeared. A straggly messy bun with greyish tendrils hanging round my jowly face, and a crabby looking face peering through my glasses.
I begged the receptionist to destroy it the moment I left the building.

lemongrove Thu 31-Oct-19 13:04:40

gallusquine am curious as to what you said in reply when introduced that way😁

I have no idea ( have any of us, really?) but certainly as ‘old’ since so many shop assistants seem eager to help me.😄

gallusquine Thu 31-Oct-19 13:37:00

lemongrove I walked away with my dignity intact as befits a woman of my advancing years wink

Liaise Thu 31-Oct-19 13:49:08

I see myself as 29 years old and have even had birthday cards from eldest son with 29 on them. It must be true. Never look in the mirror with your glasses on or when holding a small child.

kittylester Thu 31-Oct-19 14:21:21

I sent my dd a photo of me which she showed to dgd2. Dgd2 said 'you'd never guess that she was a granny, would you!' That's the one I'm going with!!

Millie22 Thu 31-Oct-19 15:45:28

I don't know who Jo Swinson is but girly swot sounds like she's about 12.

ladymuck Thu 31-Oct-19 15:51:09

I know nothing at all about Jo Swinson. I only know that I took an instant dislike to her when I saw her interviewed on BBC news. Someone who lives in her own little bubble.

As for how people see me....I have no idea, but I do get men looking at me closely and saying, 'Let me help you with that, I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself'. As I've always been very independent, I take it to mean I am now seen as a helpless old lady.

Bridgeit Thu 31-Oct-19 15:55:37

Ohh Lemongrove, I have always thought of you as person much younger than myself.
It seems one cannot rely on the written word to indicate age.
If I am to go by responses on GN to my contributions, I think I must be seen me as an annoying Old Woman.

Fennel Thu 31-Oct-19 16:10:49

Like lemon I sometimes get shocked when I'm treated like a doddery ancient old woman.
Like when I got on the crowded bus yesterday, someone not much younger than me kindly gave up her seat and added a few kind (patronising ) words to explain. I would rather have stood.
I said "I hope I don't look that poorly!"

Fennel Thu 31-Oct-19 16:11:57

ps I did smile and thank her effusively.

midgey Thu 31-Oct-19 16:33:05

I once looked in the mirror and started to make a rude remark about my sister admiring herself....... I never thought we looked anything like each other till then!

Juno56 Thu 31-Oct-19 17:13:14

I think I look calm and refined but according to a 'friend' (she is actually a very good friend) I have a resting bitch face shock. I had never heard the expression before but apparently it's a 'thing', Victoria Beckham has one! It's a facial expression that unintentionally appears as if the person is angry, annoyed, irritated or contemptuous when actually they are relaxed, resting or not conveying any particular emotion (I googled it). I don't know if I have always had a RBF or whether it is another thing that advancing years has gifted me but I am trying to smile more (possibly at inappropriate times).

lemongrove Thu 31-Oct-19 18:45:38

Brid......if you are 80 then I am a person much younger than you.grin
You are right of course, the written word is no indicator of age at all.

Fennel Thu 31-Oct-19 19:04:22

And I'm 83, soon to be 84.

Daisymae Thu 31-Oct-19 19:08:54

Someone said 'you dress quite young' & inference being FOR my age! My neighbor said that her mother had a gardener to cut the grass. I consider myself perfectly able to do my own. However I am getting the feeling that others may not see me as I see myself.

Nortsat46 Thu 31-Oct-19 19:13:51

I was chatting to a very nice Uber driver last week and I mentioned someone in my team at work.
The very nice Uber driver said “Oh, I thought you would be a retired lady...”

I hadn’t thought of myself thus, though I will be a ‘retired lady’ very soon ... so I guess it’s reasonable that people see me that way. I think I just haven’t yet adjusted to my new status.

Esther1 Thu 31-Oct-19 19:37:31

I think my expression must come across as approachable because strangers are always asking for help or else striking up conversations. My DH thinks it’s hilarious when people make a bee line for me, or even just smile and nod at me. Having said this, I don’t see my face as especially smiley - but it must be, it happens so often it has become a family joke.

grannyticktock Thu 31-Oct-19 20:09:51

"Girly swot" is a tongue-in-cheek reference to Boris Johnson's description of David Cameron, whom he once described thus. Jo Swinson was quoting it to draw attention to the sexist, patronising attitudes of our current PM.

callgirl1 Thu 31-Oct-19 21:39:54

I saw myself in a shop window in town, and realised why all the young shop assistants keep saying "Aw, bless you"!

AllotmentLil Thu 31-Oct-19 21:48:18

Oh Callgirl is that what that means?! I thought my hairdresser was just being chummy when she said that!!
Bridgeit I always think of you as being a very young granny. I’ve no idea how people see me but I’m sometimes shocked when I see my mother looking back at me from the mirror ...

Bridgeit Thu 31-Oct-19 22:01:54

Well past 3 score years 👵🏻

Bridgeit Thu 31-Oct-19 22:04:04

Ps, I have one of those mirrors too! 😀

BradfordLass72 Thu 31-Oct-19 22:34:24

It depends on the person who 'sees' me:

My grand-daughter sees me as the reliable, loving granny and fount of all knowledge and says she aspires to be like me. Hah!

My grandson sees me as the person who's alwaye there to cuddle him and provide a calm, sometimes creative environment - and the lady who will not be persuaded by 'Mummy says it's all right if I have..' (name sweet stuff) until Mummy confirms this to me by text ! grin

My son sees me as the rock to which, very occasionally, he still clings (and thank goodness)

Most but not all, my neighbours see me as someone who is guaranteed to spoil the atmosphere of their jolly racist conversations, so they no longer invite me to their soirees. (good)

I don't think the people at my elder's group know quite what to make of me. Probably, ko te heahea ia.

Complete strangers (and I know this because some of them have told me so) see me as a fat woman who has 'let herself go' (to where, I wonder?) who sits watching daytime TV (the TV I have never owned) eating cream cakes and pies .
(well, yes, the very, very occasional cream cake on special occasions - can one vanilla slice every 6 months make you gain 5 stone? As for pies - yuk!).

And I see myself as tough, a fighter (our family motto is
Numquam desistas, numquam dare in - Never give up, never give in) and a survivor. Usually friendly, mostly harmless. grin