How can they do this?

Thank you for supportive posts and advice.

I have been down every avenue and have an appeal pending for continuing health care funding - I appealed many many months ago and still no decision. But he has since had a further CHC funding assessment recently at the request of LA - trying to wriggle out of any contribution - and that too is (I hear on the grapevine) going to be turned down.

It is all a numbers game - they take half my OH's pension as part of their calculations, and then have the rest as part of the third-party top-up.

I have received a small amount of free solicitor advice on CHC funding; and I have decided to avoid the no win no fee company as if they win they take a huge percentage of the money won.

I know that if I sell house and move then OH will fall outside any LA contribution at all; but that is offset by the huge interest payments for equity release (which would be the only other way to raise some money on the house). I would rather move nearer my friends (as I am now on my own) than pay out to an equity release company.

I am of course daunted by the prospect of house sale etc., but it is the only logical route that gives me peace of mind in the knowledge that I have money there to pay the top-up.

I have had all the right advice; I just felt so hurt yesterday that they can send out such inhumane communications - they forget that there are human beings in distress in the middle of all this. I had just left him really miserable yesterday and just the thought that they might consider trying to move him if my money runs out hit a raw nerve.

I have a tiny pension and using up all OH's pensions for the fees leaves me with the same big house to run with less money to do it with. That is particularly relevant now that I am having to use the heating. The bulk of the top-up is coming out of my own savings - he has none left now as I have had to spend it all on care.

Sorry if my suggestion was a bad one Luckygirl. Like I say, I don't know anything about equity release. You don't give a thought to these things until something like this happens to you do you. I just hope you can find a way round all this.

I think the local MP is a good one. Shame there is a so and so general election getting in the way of things at the moment.

I am so sorry this is happening to you. It must be a nightmare.

local MP idea

I can only reiterate; seek legal advice as soon as possible; care packages are a minefield and social services rely on excessive fees from those who pay to subsidise those who don't; it is simply better hidden now than in my Father's time, when he paid the full amount and it was openly used to subsidise others, (and the Home owner's son's flying lessons.)
Have you considered viewing the care home they suggest; the fees you are paying are high and are you sure all of it goes on your husband's care? I thought nursing care was free, but it all needs confirming. An MP at present won't be able to give much time, but after the election definitely ask for an investigation.

The £950 a week they SS are demanding is an amount designed to subsidise others who have no resources of their own. My dear mother was in residential care, and though she had to forgo all but £30 a week of her pension, her place 'only' cost £400 or so a week beacause others who had real assets were paying the rest.

While I loved my mother dearly I have to acknowledge that every spare penny she had went on alcohol and cigarettes. It did seem a bit hard on others who led a more prudent and frugal life. (Speaking as someone who is living, of necessity, a very prudent and frugal life.)

My mum was in blind care home. I sold her house to help pay along with her pension, when it ran out they (ss)were going to chuck her into hospital. I fought and eventually they renagued and agreed to pay the top up, but only after 2 doctors said she would not last more than a year. It was a terrible strain, as was a single working parent by then.

The problem is, Fiachna we don't have any MPs at the moment and this sounds quite urgent.

I was told your home is not taken into account if a close relation is living in it.

I am so very sorry that you are having to go through all this extra worry, what really angers me though if you and OH hadn't worked all your lives and if you hadn't brought your house we wouldn't be having this conversation, the care would be provided by LA. The system really needs a complete overhaul. I lost my mum in May 2018, the HMRC have only now closed her case as satisfied, but it had entailed selling her house to satisfy the Inheritance Tax and it just seemed that every email and letter was to give us another bill. Maybe way forward is not to work, or save, or try and help yourself because down the line it will cost you dearly !! I hope Lucky that you can appeal and get more help. xx

That is heartless and sad.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Make sure you have his power of attorney for everything - maybe you have but it is so much easier if you do. Sending a virtual hug (0)

Have you tried Age Concern or Citizen's Advice although it sounds as if you know exactly what the awful situation is. Years ago when I was fighting the LEA to keep my disabled son in school I told them that one of the worst things about his illness was having to deal with them! So I do understand how you feel and it is a disgrace. It's down to that filthy 5 letter word again that begins with m and ends with Y. Get as much help as you can and know that we are all behind you with this heartbreaking situation. Be strong xx

What a dreadful state of affairs for you Luckygirl! I really think that you need to seek further advice on this from Citizens advice or even your solicitor as I'm not sure how the law stands on these situations. I do wish you well and hope for an agreeable outcome for you and OH.

Legally, you should not have to use your own savings Luckygirl.
Of course you will feel you must in order to ensure that your DH stays somewhere where he is well cared for and not sent somewhere of the LA's choosing.

Pamela it is not necessarily people who have squandered their money all their lives or who have sponged off the state - that is a very unkind assumption.
My MIL was widowed and had very little all her life and did not own her own home. Luckily, she did not have to go into care in the end because she died in hospital before the need arose. However, they would have taken her very small pensions off her to help fund her care had she had to do so. As it was, she had spent a lot of her income paying for patchy care at home.

oh Luckygirl

I even can`t say unbelievable... but I can send hugs, prayers and .. whatever.. if it helps

seems my husband and I were fortunate that my dh died in hospital a couple of weeks ago.

I dread the future

As I understand it @Luckygirl, the content of their letter is probably correct but the most upsetting thing is the heartless way it is worded. When your heart is breaking, its often something like this that is just the final straw. My heart goes out to you and I'm so glad that you have a place where he is being well cared for.

It is such a dreadful time for you, and so many people affected by the lack of government funding which used to help local authorities provide a better service, now the whole burden of social care falls on the council tax payers locally. I did manage to get continuing healthcare funding for my Mum, as she was judged to need a nurse on call 24/7 even though never needed. That would seem the best outcome for your situation, could you maybe focus on that fight?

What about contacting the local press? A front-page spread with photographs might be useful. Just a thought.

I don't know how any of this works but I sounds like you have explored everything. I would talk to your local councillor about the way the letter was written so that others get better treatment. Talking to your MP is a good idea but not sure you can do that during an election as they are not actually MPs at the moment.

Having a good rant is therapeutic so rant away.

Lucky girl - I don’t, mercifully, know anything about the way the benefits system works in the UK. I do, though, know how cold and inhumane state run systems can be. I’m so sorry you are going through this at such a tender time for your husband and yourself. Please make sure you have support around you with people you can talk, and if you need it, cry with, whilst you are supporting your husband. I’m sure you are already exhausted with it all, and could well do without this. Hugs and flowers from me....

May I suggest that you contact a local councillor on this and they can take it up with the SS department. Better still the Cabinet Member.

When I was a councillor I had to deal with requests like this and sometimes I was able to reach a happier resolution.

They cannot legally use your savings but of course you have to use those yourself to live on.
My own H died after being in care for 5months so I did not have this situation for long but still know the grief and frustration it caused.
Until an insurance scheme is put in place for future generations , which is not a vote catcher of course, this will go on.
It is not sustainable for the LA, or NHS to pay for everyone in care, in my large village we have 3 care homes with , between them, 150 residents, at fees between £750 and £1,200 WEEKLY, and then multiply this by many thousands of care homes around the country we can see the problem.
The NHS would be bankrupt in months.
It need funding now for the future.

So sorry you are having to go though this ordeal which should never have happened if our politicians had got their act together and decided how care should be funded and supported.

Do make sure you have advice on what monies are rightfully yours and if possible locate into some decent sheltered accommodation. Sending love and hugs.

CONTINUING HEALTH CARE
You CAN apply for the NHS to fund the your husband's care. It is called Continuing Health Care. Many people don't know about it. Your husband will be assessed and there is a lot of criteria to meet. It is difficult but you can get it. You need to contact Social Services. If you are successful, the NHS will pay ALL fees. We were told about this when my neighbour was ill. They applied and got it. It isn't publicised very well. Look on NHS website.

male 80 yrs had bladder and prostate cancer within 3 yrs radiotherapy has left me with ed any others out there in the same position the good thing is I am free of cancer and my OH says that is the main thing we still have each other been married 60 years this year any other views on this .