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Train anxiety

(79 Posts)
TwiceAsNice Thu 05-Dec-19 08:20:17

This probably seems trivial to most people but yesterday I made a train journey on my own for the first time in a very long time. I don’t know why but train travel on my own makes me very anxious ( other transport is fine) so I avoid it. Yesterday I really wanted to go to a special event so made myself get the train from local station into London for it. DD2 met me and we continued journey together so I didn't have to change trains on my own. That’s the next stage for me but I was so relieved I was ok and a little bit proud that I managed it.

Tweedle24 Sat 07-Dec-19 10:20:23

twiceasnice Welldone. For those who are nervous, use the rail companies’ travel assist service. It is completely free. Once you have your ticket just call the number (it is on line) and there will be someone there to help you with your luggage on and off the train.

I started using it when my husband was struggling with Parkinson’s and then continued when my arthritic knee made travel difficult. Now my knee has been replaced, I still use it as it is so helpful to have someone help with putting luggage on and off the train. Some of the gaps between train and platform I find quite intimidating

JackyB Sat 07-Dec-19 10:10:31

GrammaH in Germany I use the Deutsche Bahn app. I can buy my ticket on it and track trains.

At this very moment I am sitting on a train from Ely to Stansted Airport and I downloaded the National Rail app to try it out., to see if it was equally efficient. It has live train info but I couldn't figure out if I could buy my ticket on it.

This train is quite crowded (everyone seems to be going to Cambridge ot London to do their Christmas shopping), but I have had a carriage to myself on this stretch before.

crazyH Thu 05-Dec-19 23:37:20

We'll done!

TwiceAsNice Thu 05-Dec-19 23:33:43

Thank you all once again for all your lovely comments. Thank you to those who mentioned an app to help me find the right platform when I need to change. Part of my fear is getting on the wrong train or not being able to find where the connection goes from . I met my daughter at one of the very large stations but she suggested if I try again there is a smaller station to change at which I wouldnt find as difficult as it only has a few platforms so I’ll see if I can do that. Thanks again you are all amazing

SpringyChicken Thu 05-Dec-19 23:13:23

Well done for being brave, TwiceAsNice.

I use the train quite often and it's reassuring to know which platform to use in advance if possible. I use the GWR app for live departures - it provides the platform info, then I double check with the information boards when I'm at the station.

kircubbin2000 Thu 05-Dec-19 22:48:38

I could visit my son by train. It is a 30 minute trip but I havent braved it yet,worrying how I would get to the station, which platform,what if it doesn't stop at his end.I think if someone did it with me the first time I could do it. I also have avoided driving to his house and actually got lost twice the last time I went.

I have the same problem when I visit my daughter in London. There is a lovely shopping village a 15 minute trip by bus which she suggested I visit when she is at work. I chickened out and stayed in the house.?

grannyrebel7 Thu 05-Dec-19 21:52:22

smile

grannyticktock Thu 05-Dec-19 21:26:50

Well done, Twice as Nice, and thank you for raising this and showing me I am not alone.

A couple of months after my husband died, I travelled alone to see my daughter. It was a long trip entailing changing trains in London via the Tube. The outward journey was OK but on the way back the first train was late so I missed my connection. When the station assistant told me (wrongly) that I would have to buy a new ticket, I got very upset, and just broke down. I told her this was my first trip alone since the death of my husband, and her manner changed completely - she took my to the First Class lounge for a coffee and wrote out a slip allowing me to take the next train. So all was well in the end.

However, the next time I had to do the same journey, when I reached the station in question, I had what I can only call a panic attack. Everything felt unreal and frightening, and the crowds seemed almost menacing. I had to sit down and make myself breathe slowly while I waited for my train. I arrived safely, but dreaded the next time I would have to make the journey.

But it was the only way I could get to visit my daughter, so I persevered. Each time I made the journey, it got easier, and now I'm OK about train travel. I am not normally a wuss - I am a capable, confident, grounded sort of woman- but I do understand and respect others who have had similar problems.

Luckygirl Thu 05-Dec-19 21:11:15

Oh well done - big step forward.

I don't like trains either; I think it is because it is so crowded, I feel hemmed in.

Smileless2012 Thu 05-Dec-19 21:00:46

Good for you bluetchsmile

blue60 Thu 05-Dec-19 20:55:38

Now I love trains but not buses! Today I took a bus into town on my own for the first time in a long time too, and managed to catch the right one home.

So yes, I get it TwiceAsNice xx

Smileless2012 Thu 05-Dec-19 19:02:14

Well done TwiceAsNice that can't have been easy. You've every right to be proudtchsmile.

Saggi Thu 05-Dec-19 18:59:20

I know exactly how you feel TwiceAsNice...I’ve always been afraid of train travel, and my husband was a train driver... I was alright with him but could never do it on my own . Like you all other transport was fine! Then when my sister was in an horrendous accident 5 years ago, the only way I could get to be with her ...as she was in Intensive Care in Brighton ...and I’m 200 miles away, was to travel by train , and I had to change once at East Croydon m. The first two times it was horrendous ...I was literally biting my lip. But...it had to be done and I overcome my fear. I put it to myself that I was an intelligent, capable woman, and reading a timetable and changing trains was well within my capabilities. I didn’t realise until the trauma of my sister and her husbands accident were behind us( 3 months) just how courageous I had been. I too felt proud of myself. So very well done you .... and when you come to that train changing situation you will manage ...just as your good sense and courage has helped you to get on that train by yourself. Please let us know how you get on. Good luck.

Magi Thu 05-Dec-19 18:10:24

I must admit the big stations with crowds of people leave me feeling very stressed. Give me quiet country living any daysmile

BlueSapphire Thu 05-Dec-19 17:05:54

Well done Twice, now just keep going!

I managed a train journey to the other side of Gloucester a few weeks back which involved a change at Birmingham, with a 10 minute window to change platforms. So I left my home station about an hour earlier than I really needed to ensure I didn't miss my connection. It gave me some welcome breathing space to have a coffee and a sandwich. And I flew on my own last year, and negotiated Heathrow, and on return, Budapest airports quite easily. Will be flying from Gatwick next year which is an airport I am much more used to. And I did a cruise alone last year!

brook2704 Thu 05-Dec-19 17:05:42

Well done TwiceAsNice - I feel so happy for you ! ?

sandelf Thu 05-Dec-19 17:01:05

Fab fab fab - well done you.

Nanny41 Thu 05-Dec-19 16:45:01

TwiceAsNice,well done,now keep going after this acheivement, you certainly should be proud.

GrammaH Thu 05-Dec-19 16:27:40

JackyB what app do you use to track your progress on trains? It sounds really useful ?

GrammaH Thu 05-Dec-19 16:25:52

Very well done*twiceasnice*! I too am a nervous train traveller & am already worrying about our trip from Shrewsbury to London next Monday as it involves a change & pre-booked seats which may or may not already be occupied by someone who won't move. I fear the connection as we missed one on our last rail expedition when our train was delayed . This time we have absurdly cheap tickets but they're for specific trains & we'll have to pay again & more if we're forced into getting a different one. I'm also a nervous parker! I'm always worried about parking somewhere, even if it's somewhere familiar like the doctors where spaces are slim and often hard to find. Don't get me started on air travel...!! Oh to be someone who takes it all in their stride!!

AlisonKF Thu 05-Dec-19 16:17:59

There are sound reasons for nervousness travelling by train if you have a disability. Travelling never made me nervous until I developed disabling arthritis and have to walk with sticks. Getting on and off trains is frightening because of the large gap from the platform , especially getting off. Really dangerous, and companies want to do away with guards, Nervous passengers can book ahead for excellent help covering all train changes and help with luggage off, on, and delivery to change of platforms at each change . This works very well..If your nervousness is mental rather than physical, this should make no difference.

GrandmaMoira Thu 05-Dec-19 16:07:24

I find trains okay. I don't drive so have no option of using a car. Buses are much worse as you never know how long the wait will be, sometimes they are very crowded, people often argue and I get travel sick. I avoid the tube altogether as they are claustrophic and I get panicky. Recently I've also avoided escalators. The new London Bridge station is one to avoid as to change platforms there are very long escalators or an open glass lift, both of which are scary.

Magicmaggie Thu 05-Dec-19 15:39:43

I’m afraid I’ve given up going by train anywhere due to
several recent events.
Last year my train was cancelled sadly due to a fatality on the line so we had to go part of the way by coach to the next station but because we weren’t able to book a reserved seat and this train was full most of the others from the cancelled train had to stand for an hour or so then scramble to get a seat when
someone left the train.
This year the train I normally go on to Tenby had two
coaches not the usual three, and everyone was fighting
to get a seat, as they were not doing reservations.
Again I had to stand, until a young woman kindly gave
up her seat for me. I’m getting too old for this hassle
after travelling on trains all my life, the trains are packed,
and unreliable and uncomfortable.

Rosina Thu 05-Dec-19 15:32:55

Very well done! Be proud of yourself.

narrowboatnan Thu 05-Dec-19 15:26:22

I get anxious on train journeys, too TwiceAsNice Four times a year I travel on trains from Ely, in Cambridgeshire, to Telford in Shropshire to visit my AC (2 off) and DGC (7 off) and I still hate the change at Birmingham New Street. I worry that I'll miss my connection and have to wait for the next one; I worry that the escalator will be out of order AGAIN (twice, so far) and I'll have to cart my little suitcase down it (have you seen how deep the escalator steps are???); I worry about finding my way from one end of Birmingham NS to the other to find the platform that I need - and then, four days later, I do it all in reverse and worry even more in case they have changed the platform that my Cross Country Train will depart from (that's happened twice now too). I always ask the driver where he's going just to make sure I'm on the right train. Been doing it regularly for two years now, so you'd have thought I'd be used to it, wouldn't you? So well done for making that first journey, give yourself a pat on the back and feel proud of yourself.