Food inspiration for an "eats nothing" child

My GS is 7 years old and diagnosed as Autistic very early on. We went through the stage of him not eating much at all and he can still be fairly picky if he doesn't like the look of something. I bought one of those round trays with dividers in that you put party nibbles in and I put different foods in each section (there's 7 sections), some have fruit (which he loves) or grated cheese, cucumber, tomatoes, slices of chicken. He loves a bowl of gravy to dip bread into or buttered crackers but won't touch yoghurts or anything like that. Breadsticks are another thing he will eat, you can put little bits of different things in and see what he likes and what he doesn't but it gives him a choice. He was non-verbal until he was about 3 years old but is now speaking and has come on leaps and bounds. He won't eat hot food at all.

Divided plates are a great idea.
I saw some Christmas ones the other day, widely available I hope, as I can't remember where it was.

When I was a child I was seriously ill with whooping cough, and refused to eat or drink. My lovely dad grated a bar of chocolate onto a plate in front of me. He left the room not saying a word. Apparently curiosity got the better of me and I sampled a bit. This in turn made me thirsty so I asked for a drink. Just saying, maybe a bit of a trickery might work.

Tesco or any of the big stores sell them and they're cheap enough to replace if they get damaged.

HurdyGurdy - would your grandson be able to do a bit of cooking himself?
You could start by taking him to the supermarket and letting him select ingredients, whether fresh and healthy or not.
Then at home, use your imagination to create a recipe he can cook himself.
He's more likely to want to eat something he has prepared himself . Or a combination of raw foods.

I have an 8 year old granddaughter who eats anything and her elder brother 12 is the same. From day one they were introduced to different foods and it seems to have worked . The only ‘ blot’ on the landscape is fresh tomatoes..... neither of them seems to like or be able to digest them!! My own kids were the same , and my own generation of 6 siblings were same . If you didn’t eat what was on the plate.... you didn’t eat! No drama,no fuss, mum just took it away and you went hungry til next meal. I’ve no advice accept sometimes the old ways are better. No child of that age will starve themselves , if food is there for the eating. Try not to worry , he’s made it 5his Caron his restricted diet. I have a friend of 56 who hasn’t eaten a vegetable since she was 5..... she’s fine and healthy.

My grandson is 9 and has had an autism diagnosis since the age of 5. He is a tall boy, but quite skinny. He had a restricted diet too.
Once when we were eating out, his order was chips and mashed potatoes. The restaurant was very accommodating and gave him exactly what he asked for.
He likes plain food such as the aforementioned potatoes, bread, cake, baked beans (but only Brantson beans). He will also eat broccoli.
He doesn't like his food to touch, so everything has to be separate on his plate. I serve him his beans in a bowl, along with whatever is on his plate.
I really wouldn't worry about your grandson. As long as he will take vitamin supplements he'll be okay.

I haven't read all the posts so if anyone has already said this, I apologise for the repetition. I think the foods that some autistic children prefer are 'beige' as well as being dry. Anything colourful, wet/moist or sticky is rejected. As others have said, it can't be forced or it causes anxiety verging on panic. OP Why do you say you only think there's a diagnosis of autism? Surely your son should have been informed of any medical/psychological conditions his own son suffers from!

@basicallygrace12 Your house sounds exactly like my house! 2 adult dc with ASD diagnosis they both have a sensory processing disorder and control food. My ds will only eat Heinz ketchup but thankfully over time has developed a better but still restricted diet. Tonight is cottage pie, (with hidden veggies) he loves mash but it has to be loaded with butter and milk and completely smooth. I use an ikea potato ricer but finally after 28 years he will now eat 'regular' food even a roast dinner, the list of things he won't eat is massive but so much improvement from childhood. Unless he's under stress then we're back on fries to go (microwave chips) and chicken nuggets (have to be from Aldi).

HurdyGurdy, one of my granddaughters is pretty much the same, although she likes cucumber, blueberries and (must be black) grapes.

She has to sit at the table with us (at least, for ten minutes) - but is not required to eat. She likes to help me get the food ready. We make a selection of dishes to share. I give her something to do at the table 'to help'. (It gets her over the big hurdle of sitting for a meal) She usually eats something, but not much.

Nobody is allowed to nag her to 'eat up', in fact, sometimes, I leave little snacks around and say, jokingly, 'Don't you dare eat them, they're mine - and I've counted them'. She often 'steals' them when I'm not looking!

Recently, she's taken to hummus dipping, which helps. She also likes smoothies (but not milk) so I blast strawberries with bananas and sneak a little peanut butter in when she can't see.

I think the really important thing is that they see you enjoying your food and chatting away, while completely ignoring their fussiness as far as possible. I always make sure that there's something she likes, put near her, on the table, though.

I think it’s hard for you to be involved in changing his diet seeing him so infrequently and I really think this should be led by his mum to be honest. Would she not feel that you are interring or would she be pleased for the help?

Also, has your grandson seen a specialist? I think if he’s so small it’s worth having him assessed just to check he’s growing ok etc? My friend’s son had growth problems and needed steroids to help growth.

Thank you all for your lovely posts, and there are some very good suggestions which we can try. Also very interesting to read about other experiences with children and food likes/dislikes etc.

A bit of background – but I don’t want it to come across as though I have a problem with his mum, because I absolutely don’t. I think, bearing in mind that she is dealing with a challenging child on her own, 24 hours a day, she is doing the very best she can.

We meet halfway to handover at a service station. She will tell us what she’s been trying with foods and other things, so that we can continue it at our house. She’s also happy for us to try anything new whilst he’s with us, so that she can try it at home. Today, we were able to tell her about the Peppa Pig yogurt, which she was delighted about, and that we bought him a pair of wellies and went jumping up and down in muddy puddles, which she'd previously said he'd never do - so a little more progress there

We always give him a bit of everything that we have for dinner, but he will pick it up, sniff it, and nine times out of ten, just put it down again. We’ve tried dry cereal, but I think the ones we’ve tried have been too sweet. I think we'll try bran flakes next time. He’s not interested in sweet stuff – except, apparently, as mum told us today, he will occasionally eat Parma Violets! Last time we had him, we got him onto cheese straws, which he devoured. This time – not interested!

He will come to the supermarket with us, but all he wants to do is push the trolley and scan the items at the self service checkout. He can identify every fruit and vegetable going, but after the “sniff test” they have so far all been rejected.

When he has his French fries, we encourage him to “dip the chip” and he will just about let the chip touch the ketchup, but won’t dip it as such.

However, there are some issues at his home. I say we “think” there is a diagnosis of autism, because although when he was about four years old, he saw a paediatrician (my son went along to the appointment) it turns out that there is nothing on paper to say that the diagnosis was autism. Mum told my son that he is autistic, and he had no reason to disbelieve her, so we’ve always worked on the basis that he is autistic. She told him that she was discharged from the paediatrician, but has now said that no paperwork was sent, so there is nothing in writing.

Mum took him out of school 18 months ago, as she felt that the school was not meeting his needs. She is (allegedly) home schooling him.

He is still in pull-ups and won’t wee or poo on a potty or toilet. He comes to us every time with his bottom red raw, and we end up taking him to our doctor to get some cream to clear it up. He goes home with an almost cleared up bottom, and then when he’s next back . . . . there’s the “nappy” rash again.

Then there is the issue of the diet.

Anyway, she kept telling my son that she was trying to get help for their son, but that no one was doing anything. I work in Children’s Services in our area, so I knew what kind of help she would be getting if she lived here. With her agreement, I called their children’s services as a worried grandmother, as it seemed my grandson was being failed by their system.

Upshot is, she was allocated a worker from the early help team. We have now found out that she did not engage with that worker, and that worker had concerns around the little boy, the lack of engagement and the home conditions, and they have now been stepped up to social care, with an allocated social worker. My son found this out when the social worker called him to get his views on the current position.

The social worker is chasing up the referrals to the bladder and bowel team (to try and get the toileting sorted), the dietician, the Speech and Language Therapy team to try and improve his speech, and then the focus will be on trying to get him back into school.

Hopefully mum will engage with the process now and keep the appointments for the various clinics and professionals, and we can move a few steps forward with the little boy.

Sorry for the extraordinarily long post, but I thank everyone who has contributed to the thread. I'm definitely going to try a few of the suggestions - the tempura batter sounds like a great idea!

Hurdy Gurdy, thanks for your response to the comments here and for the update on Children's Services involvement. So pleased his paternal family have made themselves known to Children's Services, it's good to be involved. Hope things improve for your grandson and for all of you

I googled what Peppa Pig likes to eat and apparently;
Spaghetti and jelly (presumably not together).
George likes spaghetti and strawberries.

bottom red raw
This is a long shot but one of my DC used to get terrible nappy rash, a red raw bottom and it turned out years later that she is coeliac. I felt like a bad mother although she was changed frequently and I used good creams.
I wonder if some foods give him a tummy ache (they did her but we didn't know why) and that is why he is suspicious of food?

He has a very flour based diet (presumably not gf flour) - sometimes we crave the things that are bad for us for some reason.

Hurdygurdy Thanks for the update.
I'm so glad this Mum agreed to respond to SS. It sounds as if she is totally overwhelmed by caring for this wee chap and needs support as much as he does..

Callistemon sometimes we crave the things that are bad for us

So true. I am mainly gluten-free or Paleo but every now and then I crave a slice of bread - which of course makes me ill if I give in to it.

Fry vegetables in batter like chicken balls? Not great perhaps but at least some veg would go in.

I remember being told that women licked coal when they were pregnant years ago!
Perhaps their bodies knew that they needed certain minerals, BradfordLass.

Callistemon may have a really good point there. Silent coeliac has none of the classic symptoms but can damage the digestive system anyway.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

We meet halfway to handover at a service station. She will tell us what she’s been trying with foods and other things, so that we can continue it at our house

It sounds a very difficult situation but can I ask please....is this conversation going on infront of the child?

My heart goes out to this poor lady . Does she have any friends or family locally to give her some respite from the 24 hour care on her own ?

Frankly the diet is tantamount to child abuse. How many of us would have happily floated along feeding our child crap their entire life?

Yes, let’s accuse the mum of a boy with special needs of abuse. That’s a great way to work together ??‍♀️??‍♀️

I despair at people

also look at fluid intake, If the child is taking large quantities of fluids he will not be hungry anyway.